Quitter! 

21 things to stop, do better, or aspire to accomplish in 2014

This time of year the pants tend to be tightest, the bank account emptiest, and, if you do New Year's Eve right, the guilt freshest. But the weeks of unrestrained pleasure eating, drinking, and spending are about to come to a screeching halt. New Year's Day is approaching and, for many, that means resolutions.

Friend, it's time to quit.

We started naming all of the things we thought we should (probably) quit, identifying ways in which we could improve ourselves, and listing the things we're tired of seeing from others (you're welcome for the unsolicited advice!). The following list of 21 things to stop, do better, or aspire to accomplish in 2014 is part self-loathing, part pep talk, part venting, part constructive criticism, and part the realization of how hard it is just to be content.

That last bit is important, especially considering that less than 10 percent of the people who make resolutions actually see them through. Perhaps we should quit putting unrealistic expectations on ourselves. Maybe next year.

CONTRIBUTORS: Max Blau, Rodney Carmichael, Dustin Chambers, Stephanie Dazey, Vené Franco, Gavin Godfrey, Debbie Michaud, Ezra Morris, Chad Radford, Thomas Wheatley, Wyatt Williams


QUIT MOVING SO FAST

QUIT DRIVING AND TEXTING AND EATING

QUIT GIVING A FUCK

QUIT YOUR NOVEL

QUIT CABLE

QUIT FITTING IN YOUR PANTS

QUIT THINKING, "I SAW ON YOUR FACEBOOK ..." IS A GOOD WAY TO START A CONVERSATION

QUIT TAKING STUDENT LOANS/HIKING COLLEGE TUITION/GOING TO COLLEGE/THINKING YOU WON'T NEED A DIPLOMA

QUIT GROWING UP

QUIT BEING A HIPSTER

QUIT LYING

QUIT FAMILY HOLIDAYS

QUIT USING YOUR CELL PHONE TO TAKE PICTURES/AUDIO/VIDEO AT CONCERTS

QUIT THINKING ONLINE DATING IS CREEPY

QUIT SHOPPING AT BIG BOX STORES SO MUCH

QUIT COMMUNICATING IMPORTANT THINGS VIA TEXT

QUIT THE BAD VIBES

QUIT SMOKING

QUIT RELIGION

QUIT YOUR JOB

QUIT QUITTING


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