Cover Story: Results to the Health(y drinking) and (Party) fitness survey

How old are you?

Under 21 — 4 percent
21-24 — 20 percent
25-30 — 38 percent
31-39 — 21 percent
40-49 — 11 percent
50+ — 6 percent

Apparently, CL doesn’t have as many aging hippie stoners as we’d thought. Turns out the likeliest age group to smoke the ganja are youngsters between 21 and 24. In fact, one of every 10 readers aged 21-24 said that, for them, 4:20 comes at least once a day.

What’s your marital status?

Single — 39 percent
In a relationship, but not married — 36 percent
Married — 19 percent
Divorced — 6 percent

It would seem being married requires additional stress relief. Married folks were more likely to drink to unwind than to socialize.

Do you exercise?

Religiously — 26 percent
Occasionally — 61 percent
Nope — 13 percent

Be honest: How many drinks do you consume in a week?

Teetotaler — 4 percent
1-5 — 26 percent
6-15 — 44 percent
15-24 — 21 percent
25+ — 5 percent

What’s your hangover frequency?

Never; I know when to stop — 26 percent
Once a month or so — 40 percent
More than once a month — 22 percent
Pretty much every weekend — 13 percent
I can’t remember not being hung over — 0 percent

How often do you drink and drive?

A lot (several nights a week) — 3 percent
Sometimes (once or twice a month) — 25 percent
Rarely (once a month or less) — 38 percent
Never — 34 percent

How do you deal with hangovers?

Take aspirin and go back to bed — 42 percent
Hair of the dog — 5 percent
Over-the-counter hangover cure — 1 percent
Home remedy — 11 percent
I just gut it out — 41 percent

How often do you get hung over?

Never — 24 percent
Every time I drink — 6 percent
Only when I drink hard liquor — 49 percent
I usually avoid it by employing an old wives’ tale cure — 21 percent

What’s your upper spending limit for a decent cocktail?

$7-$9 — 24 percent
$9-$11 — 39 percent
$11-$12 — 19 percent
$12-$15 — 7 percent<br?I stick to cheap beer — 11 percent

As expected, Clark Howard fans are frugal drinkers. Of readers who wanted to party with the nerdy consumer advocate, 90 percent were willing to spend no more than $11 for a decent cocktail.

What kind of drunk are you?

Happy — 51 percent
Angry — 1 percent
Weepy — 1 percent
Sleepy — 5 percent
Horny — 9 percent
Chatty — 23 percent
I have no idea — 9 percent

Is it any wonder that chatty drunks overwhelmingly wanted to hoist a few with the Mouth of the South, Ted Turner? Despite the popular YouTube video showing Ted slurring his way through an America’s Cup press conference, Turner supposedly gave up booze while married to Jane Fonda.

Given the choice, where would you prefer to get shit-faced?

Yacht Club — 20 percent
Club Crucial — 2 percent
Taco Mac — 13 percent
The Cheetah — 7 percent
Trader Vic’s — 3 percent
St. Regis Bar — 8 percent
Leon’s Full Service — 19 percent
My couch — 28 percent

You mainly drink to:

Unwind — 31 percent
Socialize — 44 percent
Get drunk — 7 percent
Enjoy the flavor — 7 percent
Get in someone’s pants — 0 percent
Embrace sweet oblivion — 11 percent

At what age did you first get drunk?

Under 15 — 28 percent
16-17 — 39 percent
18-21 — 29 percent
21+ — 4 percent
Demon Rum has never gotten the better of me — 0 percent

What Atlanta celebrity would you most like to have a beer with?

Ted Turner — 22 percent
Matt Ryan — 18 percent
Clark Howard — 13 percent
NeNe Leakes — 10 percent
Tyler Perry — 5 percent
Nancy Grace — 2 percent
T.I. — 13 percent
Blondie — 16 percent

Next: Would you buy alcohol for Justin Bieber?

Would you buy alcohol for Justin Bieber?

No, he’s underage — 60 percent
Yeah, that’d be fun — 20 percent
I’d rather teach him to candyflip — 20 percent

What do you typically spend on booze in a week?

Less than $10 — 15 percent
$10-$40 — 52 percent
$40-$60 — 20 percent
$60-$90 — 5 percent
$90-$120 — 3 percent
Let’s just say I could own a much better car if I cut back — 4 percent

What do you do to offset a binge?

Nothing special — 35 percent
I don’t indulge for several days — 39 percent
I spend extra time at the gym — 12 percent
I try to move as little as possible — 11 percent
I like to maintain a perpetual binge state — 1 percent

What type of alcohol do you prefer?

Inexpensive beer — 10 percent
Imported or high-gravity beer — 28 percent
Wine — 21 percent
Clear liquor — 16 percent
Brown liquor — 14 percent
Anything that won’t make me go blind is cool — 11 percent

On average, how often do you smoke pot?

Never, good sir — 51 percent
Every few months — 25 percent
At least once a month — 9 percent
At least once a week — 10 percent
At least once a day — 3 percent
Dude, you familiar with the term “wake-and-bake”? — 2 percent

Dude, serious pot smokers are 12 percent less likely to exercise than the unbaked masses.

You typically smoke pot to:

I told you, I do not abuse cannabis — 49 percent
Chill out — 17 percent
Control pain — 0 percent
Socialize — 10 percent
Enjoy the buzz — 17 percent<br?Take the edge off my shitty life — 6 percent

How many drinks does it take to impair your sexual performance?

1 — 2 percent
2-3 — 5 percent
3-5 — 14 percent
5+ — 75 percent
I’ve never had sex — 4 percent

What’s the hardest drug you’ve used in the past year?

Alcohol — 48 percent
Reefer — 25 percent
‘Shrooms — 3 percent
DMT — 0 percent
Acid — 4 percent
Ecstasy — 6 percent
Blow — 13 percent
Meth — 0 percent
Crack — 0 percent
Smack — 0 percent

Talking about living a stereotype: our readers who use blow are more likely to detox by fasting.

What’s the best restaurant for late-night drunk food?

Waffle House — 46 percent
Bamboo Luau — 4 percent
Majestic Diner — 24 percent
OK Café — 3 percent
Krispy Kreme — 2 percent
Taco Cabana — 11 percent
I don’t like to dilute a good buzz by eating — 10 percent

Majestic Diner customers spend more on booze than the average drinker. Now we know where their dining-out savings go.

What’s your preferred method of detoxing?

Hit the sauna/spa — 13 percent
Exercise — 51 percent
Seaweed shakes — 1 percent
Fasting — 14 percent
I don’t understand the question — 21 percent

What’s your favorite kind of bar?

Pub, gastro or otherwise — 35 percent
Lounge — 13 percent
Sports bar — 8 percent
Wine bar — 2 percent
Hotel bar — 0 percent
Strip club — 1 percent
Gay bar — 8 percent
Music venue — 11 percent
Dive bar — 21 percent

Could it be the quality of liquor? Dive bar patrons are more likely to wake up with a hangover than the average drinker.

Your attitude toward your own consumption is:

I drink only in moderation — 36 percent
I’m young, so I can drink as much as I like — 14 percent
I should cut back to get in better shape — 38 percent
I’ll cut back when I get married — 1 percent
I’ll cut back when I have kids — 5 percent
I’ll cut back when my new liver clears customs — 7 percent

What’s your stimulant of choice?

Caffeine — 62 percent
Nicotine — 7 percent
Energy drink — 5 percent
Spirulina — 0 percent
Bump of the Devil’s Dandruff — 4 percent
I’m high on life — 22 percent