The Blotter: Ships ahoy

In Buckhead, a 25-year-old Marietta man became upset after he was fired from his job at a high-rise office tower. The man allegedly stole a pirate flag from his co-worker’s desk. The co-worker says he knows the Marietta man stole his flag because he saw it on the Marietta man’s desk as he was gathering his belongings. The co-worker said he even called the Marietta man about the missing pirate flag, but the Marietta man reportedly said the pirate flag didn’t belong to the co-worker and hung up. The co-worker called police and said the pirate flag is indeed his personal property.

Redneck deluxe

Near Turner Field, a 25-year-old woman walked up to a cop and said she and her boyfriend got into a verbal spat. The woman said her boyfriend grabbed a pot of chicken grease and threw it on her. Apparently, the chicken grease was cold. “The victim was not burned,” the officer noted. Just sticky. The woman said that after the grease-flinging her boyfriend took her prepaid Visa card from her wallet and left her home on foot.

Wiped out

A woman said someone smashed her bedroom window while she was gone from her home near Westview Cemetery. She returned and realized her DVD player and TV were missing. Also missing: all of her toilet paper. The woman said the thief took one roll of toilet paper from her bathroom and three rolls that were still in the packaging inside her bedroom. No suspects.

Snapshot smackdown

A 31-year-old man and his girlfriend were partying at a local club. According to the couple, a bouncer approached the girlfriend and told her she had to leave the because he’d asked her several times not to take photos. The boyfriend told the bouncer that he must be mistaking the girlfriend for someone else because the bouncer never asked his girlfriend to stop snapping photos. The girlfriend went to get her belongings while the boyfriend was escorted out of the club.

Outside, while waiting for his girlfriend, the boyfriend and the bouncer exchanged words. “The male and female then were chased around the club into the back by two bouncers, when one bouncer pulled out a gun [and pointed it] at the couple,” the reporting officer wrote. The bouncer is described a burly man with a thick beard. The couple waited a week before going to police about the incident, saying they felt like their lives had been placed in danger.

Sharing sex gone bad

A man was shot in the arm while hanging out at hotel that charges by the hour on Ponce de Leon Avenue. The man said the whole thing started with an argument over a woman. He said he got upset because he left the woman with a 32-year-old man with bad teeth “to have sex with him and him alone,” the reporting officer wrote. “However [the 32-year-old man] let ‘everybody’ have sex with her.” The injured man said he punched the 32-year-old in the face, and the man fell down and his small silver gun flew across the floor. The injured man said he picked up the gun and tried to smack the 32-year-old in the head with it, but the gun flew out of his hand and back onto the floor. So he walked away.

“However, he decided to go back upstairs and let [the 32-year-old man] know that he was not going to run from him,” the reporting officer wrote. That’s when the 32-year-old man allegedly shot the guy in the left arm, and then ran out of the hotel and drove away in an SUV. Police found another bullet on the upstairs hallway floor.

Trash-talking

In Vine City, two female neighbors had a massive showdown “regarding the garbage cans between their homes,” an officer wrote. The hostilities spanned two generations, pitting a neighbor in her 20s against a neighbor in her 50s. The younger neighbor said her older neighbor shouted threats and spit on her — and she had a cellphone video to prove it. The cop watched the cellphone video showing the older neighbor shouting, “Bitch, I will beat your ass.” Then, the angry neighbor allegedly flipped over the younger woman’s trash can and kicked her mailbox. The reporting officer wrote, “I observed that the garbage can was turned over, and also observed a shoe print on [the] mailbox.” Witnesses confirmed the story. The cop found the trash-ranting neighbor walking about a block away and took her to jail on a disorderly conduct charge.

Vigorous skipper

An officer received a call about an oddly dressed woman allegedly selling sex in Lakeview Heights. Mind you, this cop was wearing a uniform and driving a marked patrol car when he spotted the scantily clad 36-year-old woman standing between two cars in a driveway. “When I pulled my patrol car up in front of the residence, the female ... came skipping down the driveway and up to my car. At that time, I immediately noticed the piece of material she wore as a skirt was positioned halfway down her thighs and her entire vaginal area was exposed.” The cop talked with the guy who owns the home where the woman was skipping in the front yard. He said the woman often frequents the area, selling her body for sex.

The cop arrested the woman and put her in patrol car. The woman started banging her head against the partition separating the front and back seats.

Items in the Blotter are taken from actual Atlanta police reports. The Blotter Diva compiles them and puts them into her own words.