Cover Story: Spectacles, sequels and schlock

Harry Potter, Spider-Man and Shrek are all present and accounted for, among other sequels and remakes. There’s no shortage of special-effects spectaculars on tap. With a couple of teen flicks here, a couple of urban comedies there and a few thrillers tossed in for good measure, it can only mean one thing: It’s time again to brace ourselves for another onslaught of predominantly mindless summer movies.

Of course, with a token nod to what studio executives like to call “counter-programming,” the upcoming schedule also includes a thought-provoking adult drama (or two). Moreover, before we start dreading the prospects too much, we should consider ourselves lucky to be living in a city with a number of competing art-house chains to provide us with our much-needed “alternative” fixes.

(Release date subject to change)

?May 7
Buffy who? Apparently looking for something as similar as possible to their last projects, hunky Hugh Jackman (X-Men 2) and curvaceous Kate Beckinsale (Underworld) join forces as the ultimate vampire killers in VAN HELSING — which also seems like familiar territory for director Stephen Sommers (who made those recent Mummy movies).

NEW YORK MINUTE is a new family comedy starring those decreasingly adorable (or soon-to-be-legal, depending on your perspective) Olsen twins, Mary Kate and Ashley. Thank God one of them plays a “meticulous overachiever” and the other a “punk-rock rebel,” because otherwise how could anyone tell them apart?

Meanwhile, CRIMSON GOLD dissects the Iranian class system, as seen through the eyes of a humble pizza delivery driver, and the Israeli drama JAMES’ JOURNEY TO JERUSALEM chronicles one young man’s trouble-plagued pilgrimage to the Holy Land.

?May 14
If Russell Crowe’s casting proved female audiences would show up for a movie like Gladiator, then director Wolfgang Petersen essentially dares women not to turn out for his Trojan War epic TROY. The flick shrewdly employs Brad Pitt (as Achilles) plus Eric Bana (The Hulk) and not one but two Lord of the Rings hotties (Orlando Bloom and Sean Bean).

BREAKIN’ ALL THE RULES sounds sort of like last summer’s Down With Love — only with Jamie Foxx in the Renee Zellweger role. Secretly disappointed in love, he writes a best-selling “how to” book pretending to have all the answers. Complications ensue.

Director Duncan Roy utilizes a split-screen technique to tell the story of a working-class bloke who crashes British high society in A.K.A..

br>?May 21
Everybody’s favorite ogre meets the parents of his new bride in SHREK 2, in which original voice talents Mike Myers, Cameron Diaz and Eddie Murphy are joined by Julie Andrews and John Cleese (as the in-laws), and Antonio Banderas (as Puss-in-Boots). The DreamWorks sequel promises to make such a mint at the box office that for the first time in recent memory, the Disney studio isn’t even bothering to compete with an animated summer movie of its own.

Ewan McGregor plays YOUNG ADAM, a mysterious transient who’s literally and figuratively adrift after he takes a job as a barge worker. He’s trapped at sea with his unhappily married bosses (Peter Mullan and Tilda Swinton) and possibly connected to a woman whose dead body they discover floating in the water. McGregor’s full monty moments have generated a lot of buzz already.

Childhood friends form an unconventional romantic bond as thrill-seeking young adults in the French drama LOVE ME IF YOU DARE, featuring Guillaume Canet and Marion Cotillard.

LOST BOYS OF SUDAN, a documentary co-directed by Megan Mylan and Jon Shenk, follows two refugees from war-torn Africa on a perilous journey to suburban America.

?May 26
RAISING HELEN, director Garry Marshall’s newest situation comedy, casts Kate Hudson as a flaky free-spirit suddenly faced with parenting a pack of precocious kids — but it only sounds like a remake of Mom Goldie Hawn’s Overboard.

?May 28
Dennis Quaid and Jake Gyllenhaal are among the imperiled in the new apocalyptic special-effects extravaganza from director Roland Emmerich (Independence Day). Instead of alien invaders, it’s Mother Nature who’s on the offensive in THE DAY AFTER TOMORROW.

Indie icon Jim Jarmusch directs a variety of character-driven vignettes connected by a common theme — COFFEE AND CIGARETTES. The eclectic ensemble includes Roberto Benigni, Cate Blanchett, Steve Buscemi, Bill Murray, Iggy Pop and Tom Waits.

The latest experimental oddity from Canadian director Guy Maddin (Dracula: Pages from a Virgin’s Diary) is adapted from a novel by Kazuo Ishiguro. The surrealistic Depression-era tale features Isabella Rossellini as a brewery owner (with glass legs, no less) who hosts a competition to find THE SADDEST MUSIC IN THE WORLD.

Postponed from last summer (hmm...), A SLIPPING DOWN LIFE is based on Anne Tyler’s novel and pairs Guy Pearce as a struggling North Carolina musician with Lili Taylor as his obsessive No. 1 fan.

Snoop Dogg, Method Man and D.L. Hughley co-star in SOUL PLANE, a comedy about a fledgling black-owned airline company.

br>?June 4
Mexican indie director Alfonso Cuaròn (Y Tu Mamá Tambien) unveils his latest project, a little something called HARRY POTTER AND THE PRISONER OF AZKABAN. Gary Oldman and Emma Thompson are among the additions to the cast, as is Michael Gambon (replacing the late Richard Harris).

VALENTIN is the heartfelt coming-of-age story about a displaced 8-year-old boy (Rodrigo Noya) yearning for a sense of family and identity amid the political turmoil of 1970s Argentina.

br>?June 11
Nicole Kidman, Glenn Close, Bette Midler and Faith Hill may not be quite themselves in Frank Oz’s satirical remake of the Ira Levin chiller THE STEPFORD WIVES. Considering their husbands are played by the likes of Christopher Walken and Jon Lovitz, can you blame them?

In the offbeat comedy SAVED!, Jena Malone plays a pregnant high-school senior whose Bible-thumping best friend (Mandy Moore) ostracizes her. She finds a salvation of sorts among a new circle of friends, including lonely misfit Macaulay Culkin.

Steve Coogan (24 Hour Party People) is Phileas Fogg, and Jackie Chan is Passepartout in the latest screen version of the Jules Verne adventure classic AROUND THE WORLD IN 80 DAYS.

Playing second fiddle to Pierce Brosnan’s 007 is one thing, but what is Dame Judi Dench doing with a slab of meat like Vin Diesel in THE CHRONICLES OF RIDDICK, a sequel to his “star-making” sci-fi thriller Pitch Black?: a) Exercising her acting muscles, or b) Making a hell of a lot more money than she did for playing Iris Murdoch?

Bill Murray voices the titular tabby in the computer-generated scenes of GARFIELD: THE MOVIE, while Jennifer Love Hewitt co-stars in the live-action segments.

br>?June 18
Don’t feel too sorry for Tom Hanks, playing an Eastern European who’s wrapped in bureaucratic red tape and indefinitely stranded at JFK Airport in Steven Spielberg’s THE TERMINAL. No doubt meeting fetching flight attendant Catherine Zeta-Jones eases a lot of his burden.

Celebrated Asian action director Takeshi Kitano also plays the title role in his 19th-century samurai saga ZATOICHI: THE BLIND SWORDSMAN, based on a series of novels by Kan Shimozawa. Quentin Tarantino will be taking notes, no doubt.

Anna Paquin, Lena Olin and Giancarlo Giannini inhabit Spanish director Jaume Balaguero’s haunted-house thriller DARKNESS.

BUKOWSKI: BORN INTO THIS is John Dullaghan’s documentary about the troubled — and troubling — author and poet Charles Bukowski.

br>?June 23
Three other brothers, writer/director Keenen Ivory Wayans and co-stars Marlon and Shawn Wayans, collaborate on the comedy WHITE CHICKS, about a pair of inner-city FBI agents on undercover assignment in the ritzy Hamptons.

?June 25
Mario Van Peebles stars in and directs BAADASSSSS!. It isn’t a remake of his father Melvin’s 1971 movie Sweet Sweetback’s Baadasssss Song, but rather the behind-the-scenes story of all the trials and tribulations that went into the making of that original film, with the son playing the father.

Jeff Bridges and Kim Basinger’s seemingly perfect marriage begins to crumble in the wake of a personal tragedy in DOOR IN THE FLOOR, based on John Irving’s novel A Widow for One Year.

In something of a throwback to his critically acclaimed 1988 wilderness drama The Bear, director Jean-Jacques Annaud chronicles the adventures of twin tiger cubs in TWO BROTHERS. Guy Pearce heads the human supporting cast.

As if their repartee in Starsky and Hutch wasn’t tiresome enough, Ben Stiller and Vince Vaughn reunite for more silly shenanigans as social rejects/competitive athletes in DODGEBALL: A TRUE UNDERDOG STORY.

In THE MUDGE BOY, backwoods teen Emile Hirsch (The Dangerous Lives of Altar Boys) has a particularly peculiar way of dealing with his mother’s death. He seeks comfort from the farm boy next door (Tom Guiry), which has unexpected consequences.

Ryan Gosling (The Believer) and Rachel McAdams (Mean Girls) appear in the WWII flashback sequences of the romantic drama THE NOTEBOOK, based on the Nicholas Sparks novel. James Garner and Gena Rowlands play the modern-day versions of the characters. Nick Cassavetes (Rowlands’ son with the late auteur John Cassavetes) directs.

?June 30
Better SPIDER-MAN 2 than Hulk 2. Tobey Maguire, Kirsten Dunst and director Sam Raimi all return for the sequel to their 2002 blockbuster about the web-spinning Marvel Comics superhero. New to the mix: Alfred Molina’s Dr. Octavius, taking over villain duty from Willem Dafoe’s Green Goblin.

br>?July 2
Speaking of Dafoe, he plays a disgruntled employee who holds a wealthy corporate executive (Robert Redford) ransom in THE CLEARING, which was filmed in Atlanta. Redford’s wife is shockingly played by the age-appropriate Helen Mirren.

Jehane Noujaim’s controversial documentary CONTROL ROOM examines the U.S. war with Iraq — as covered by the Al Jazeera network.

DEAR FRANKIE is a modest slice of Scottish life about a young deaf boy (Jack McElhone) and his single mom (Lovely & Amazing’s Emily Mortimer).

An altogether different kind of single mom (and grandmom) is the focus of THE MOTHER, a drama about the unlikely love affair between a middle-aged London widow and a younger man who’s also sleeping with her daughter. Roger Michell (Notting Hill) directs from a script by Hanif Kureishi (Intimacy).

?July 7
Given his track record, mega-producer Jerry Bruckheimer’s take on the famous Round Table saga probably will owe more to A Knight’s Tale than to Excalibur. Clive Owen stars as KING ARTHUR, with Keira Knightley and Ioan Gruffudd completing the legendary love triangle.

br>?July 9
Talk about a long day’s journey into night: It seems Ethan Hawke and Julie Delpy are still discussing their relationship — and life in general — in BEFORE SUNSET, director Richard Linklater’s continuation of their 1995 long-night’s-journey-into-day collaboration, Before Sunrise.

In the ’70s-era comedy ANCHORMAN: THE LEGEND OF RON BURGUNDY, a battle of the sexes erupts in a TV newsroom between old-school veteran Will Farrell and uppity feminist Christina Applegate.

Regrettably deprived of a proper theatrical release a couple of years ago, Richard Kelly’s decidedly bizarre alienated-teen drama DONNIE DARKO is given a second chance via a newly revamped “director’s cut” containing 10 minutes of additional footage. Jake Gyllenhaal stars.

br>?July 16
Based on Isaac Asimov’s short stories and directed by Alex Proyas (Dark City), the sci-fi thriller I, ROBOT casts Will Smith as a cynical cop — and lone voice of reason — who begins to question android authority.

Hilary Duff stars in a modern-day rendering of A CINDERELLA STORY. Enough said.

?July 23
Halle Berry is bound to titillate as a demure office worker-turned-slinking super heroine named CATWOMAN, but surely she and Sharon Stone (as her nemesis) have their work cut out for them in the inevitable catfight department if they want to top Uma and Daryl’s recent showdown in Kill Bill Vol. 2.

Matt Damon is back in THE BOURNE SUPREMACY, the second in a series of espionage thrillers based on the best sellers by Robert Ludlum. Evidently suffering from Bond girl syndrome, original Bourne Identity’’ co-star Franka Potente moves over for Julia Stiles in the sequel.

It’s no misprint, even though it actually sounds pretty depressing: CHEER UP is the new Tommy Lee Jones comedy — you heard me — about an ornery old Texas Ranger assigned to go undercover as a college cheerleading coach.

Commemorating the 50th (!) anniversary of its Japanese premiere, the “original and uncut version” of director Ishiro Honda’s monster classic GODZILLA receives its first U.S. theatrical release.

br>?July 30
Director Jonathan Demme reimagines the paranoid Cold War thriller THE MANCHURIAN CANDIDATE (based on a Richard Condon novel), with Denzel Washington and Meryl Streep assuming the roles played by Frank Sinatra and Angela Lansbury in the 1962 original.

What evil lurks in the woods outside a remote country town? Adrien Brody, Joaquin Phoenix, Sigourney Weaver and William Hurt are likely damned to find out in M. Night Shyamalan’s THE VILLAGE, which the director has been hyping like a carnival barker on network TV.

In A HOME AT THE END OF THE WORLD, adapted from the novel by Michael Cunningham (The Hours), Colin Farrell and Robin Wright Penn portray longtime friends and lovers whose relationship is transformed by their chance encounter with a worldly older woman (Sissy Spacek).

GARDEN STATE, an audience favorite at this year’s Sundance Film Festival, marks the writing/directing debut of actor Zach Braff (from TV’s “Scrubs”). He plays an aimless loser who returns to his hometown, where he rekindles one friendship (with Peter Sarsgaard) and finds a new one (with Natalie Portman).

From director Danny Leiner — who gave us Dude, Where’s My Car? — comes a kind of companion piece, HAROLD AND KUMAR GO TO WHITE CASTLE, in which two college roommates (one Korean, the other Indian) traverse the back roads of New Jersey in search of their favorite fast-food burgers.

THUNDERBIRDS is a live-action version of the Saturday-morning British series from the 1960s about a family of intrepid adventurers. Bill Paxton plays the head of the heroic Tracy clan, battling forces of evil personified by Ben Kingsley.

br>?Aug. 6
Tom Cruise plays against type as the heavy in COLLATERAL, a crime thriller from director Michael Mann (The Insider) also starring Jamie Foxx, Jada Pinkett Smith and Mark Ruffalo.

A crowd-pleasing 1996 Japanese import receives a slick (if unnecessary) Hollywood makeover courtesy of British director Peter Chelsom’s SHALL WE DANCE? Richard Gere now plays the lonely accountant and unlikely ballroom-dancing student, Jennifer Lopez the demure instructor and object of his affection.

In MARIA FULL OF GRACE, a teenage Colombian girl is also full of ingested baggies of drugs, having hired herself out as a “mule” in hopes of finding a better life in America.

br>?Aug. 13
Kevin Kline reteams with his Life as a House director Irwin Winkler in DE-LOVELY, a biopic about the life and career of songwriter Cole Porter. Ashley Judd co-stars as his life-long love, and the film also features musical appearances by Sheryl Crow, Elvis Costello and Alanis Morissette, among several others.

Given the movie’s advertising tagline — “Whoever wins, we lose” — does anybody really care which digitally enhanced monster might prevail in ALIEN VS. PREDATOR?

STANDER tells the true story of a South African folk hero of sorts, a 1970s police investigator who eventually turned to a life of crime as a notorious bank robber. Thomas Jane (The Punisher) plays the title role, under the direction of Bronwen Hughes (Forces of Nature).

In an embarrassment of, uh, mediocrity, Garry Marshall’s second formulaic comedy of the summer (see Raising Helen above) is THE PRINCESS DIARIES 2: ROYAL ENGAGEMENT. God help the movie’s poor Genovians when the ever-cutesy Anne Hathaway ascends to the throne.

The ever-irritating Rhys Ifans (Hugh Grant’s obnoxious roommate in Notting Hill) takes to the skies in a hot-air balloon as a real-life Australian thrill-seeker who became nicknamed DANNY DECKCHAIR.

According to the press releases, the Japanese kiddie-anime feature YU-GI-OH! actually isn’t the same thing as any of a number of those Pokemon movies.

br>?Aug. 20
Set in China during the war-torn Qin Dynasty, director Zhang Yimou (Raise the Red Lantern) pits four legendary assassins against the new emperor — and one of his especially dedicated bodyguards, in particular — in HERO. The cast includes Asian stars Tony Leung and Maggie Cheung (reunited from In the Mood for Love), in addition to American crossovers Jet Li and Donnie Yen.

Actor Clive Owen and director Mike Hodges, who worked so well together a few years ago in Croupier, are back with I’LL SLEEP WHEN I’M DEAD, the drama of an unassuming working-class man who’s drawn into a violent underworld of crime. Charlotte Rampling and Malcolm McDowell co-star.

Although originally supposed to begin last summer, director Renny Harlin rescheduled horror prequel EXORCIST: THE BEGINNING features poor Stellan Skarsgaard as the younger version of the character originated by Max von Sydow.

Juvenile cutups Seth Green and Matthew Lillard find themselves up an Oregon creek WITHOUT A PADDLE in a dopey comical riff on Deliverance — replete with a cameo from Burt Reynolds as a “crazy old mountain man.”

br>?Aug. 27
Rip Torn and Piper Laurie are the old folks; Ray Romano, Debra Winger, Hank Azaria and Kelly Preston are their children; and Zooey Deschanel and Jesse Bradford are among the next generation in the dysfunctional family comedy EULOGY.

bert.Osborne@creativeloafing.com
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