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Where do really bad bands play?

Raymond: The Heretic. They're trying to cater to people who don't care what kind of music they listen to but just want rhythm and beat. It's senseless loops. I call it pot and kettle music, because it sounds like people banging on pots and kettles. And of course they have to have the requisite Madonna mix every night. It's really bad.

Elegante: Red Door or Winston's at East Andrews. The crowd is a bunch of college kids who just graduated, and they're screaming "Go Dawgs." The band usually consists of guys in baseball caps, polo shirts, and beaded necklaces playing Dave Matthews or Widespread Panic. They only play the lyric parts because to play any of the instrumental ones would take some talent.

Colin: Lenny's. The other night I saw two of the worst bands. It's crowded because they bring all their friends, so you think you're walking into a packed club for a good show. Punk-rock night is usually suburban kids playing like Blink-182. The other night it had more to do with their belts - the little sideways tilt. It ends up being comedic instead of what they're going for, which is rock-god avatar.

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