Talking Head - Swillin’ and chillin’

While legislators in Alabama debate whether teens would pay $9 to get drunk on a 750-milliliter bottle of Chimay when they can get more alcohol from a six-pack of MGD for half the price, and Georgia legislators argue whether selling beer on Sunday will further piss off the Lord and send more pestilence and drought, Coors is nonchalantly introducing its new “Vented Wide Mouth Can,” an innovation that makes the beer pour more smoothly, and presumably more quickly, thus greatly reducing the time the beer spends in your mouth. This is apparently what Coors is referring to when it says it will “enhance the swigging experience for can drinkers.” The vented tops roll out on cans of Coors Banquet and Coors Light on April 15, which Coors has declared “National Venting Day.” There are some silly advertising tie-ins related to venting frustrations on Tax Day.

I have never considered the lack of a smooth pour to be the most pressing problem with the Coors experience, but perhaps that was the problem all along. Coors maintains that the smooth pour of the vented can makes it drink like a draft beer right out of the can. But draft beer is less prickly on the tongue because pouring it into a glass releases some of the CO2 dissolved in the beer. A regular can or bottle allows for some release as the beer swirls around the surfaces of the receptacle and the mouth. It seems that Coors’ smooth flowing cans that allow the beer to “flow like a draft tap” would further limit gas release. Anyone who has done a keg stand (I have not) will tell you how hard it is to drink beer directly from the tap, since the CO2 is released directly in your mouth (plus you are upside down). But I guess those swilling (or “swigging” as Coors calls it) straight from a can are not bothered by the excessive gas, and might even enjoy it, since it provides plenty of ammunition for burping the National Anthem during the ball game.

This new technological advance in beer chugging comes from the same wizards who last year brought us the “Cold Activated Can,” which turns a portion of the label blue when the beer is cold enough that you can’t taste it going down. In all seriousness, the Cold Activated Can is actually an appropriate innovation for enjoying Coors’ products. Lagers are meant to be served cold to complement their crisp character. Beer writer Michael Jackson recommended that pale lagers be served at 45° F. Coors’ Cold activated Can kicks in at 48° F and achieves its darkest color around 44° F. Perfect.

A temperature-gauge on bottles could actually be of use to craft-beer drinkers as well, since the qualities of different beer styles are accentuated at different temperatures. Most ales are best enjoyed at cellar temperature (50°-55° F), and refrigerators almost always keep these beers too cold. A “warm activated bottle” or better yet, an actual thermometer on the bottle, would tell you how long to leave the beer on the counter before pouring to achieve the optimum serving temperature.

I know it’s difficult for most Americans to accept that beer can taste good at less than freezing temperatures, but try it a few times with stronger beers and you will see what I mean. I recently tried the 2008 Rye Squared Imperial Pale Ale from Terrapin straight from the fridge and was a bit overwhelmed by the aggressive hops. I was thinking this was more like IPA than pale ale. But halfway through the glass, as the beer began to warm a bit, the malt complexity emerged, with caramel, brown bread and rye evident, making for a more balanced – and delicious – experience.

Terrapin Festivities

Speaking of Terrapin, the Athens-based brewery celebrates the opening of its new facility with a grand opening party on Saturday, March 29, from 2-6 p.m. Food vendors will be on hand, along with live music from Grogus and reggae DJs from members of Dubconscious. Tasting glasses are $8. The brewery is located at 265 Newton Bridge Road, about two miles north of downtown Athens. Call 1-888-557-BEER for directions.

If you don’t get enough Terrapin on Saturday, you can extend the party into next week by joining Terrapin and its friends from Dogfish Head Craft Brewery at The National in Athens for a beer dinner Thursday, April 3. The cost is $50 per person, excluding tax and gratuity. Call 706-549-3450 for more information and for reservations.