The Blotter May 25 2005

On Moreland Avenue, a 27-year-old woman woke up and found a strange man in her apartment. “I’m just trying to get out,” the man said. “I’m one of the good guys, I promis. I came up through a hole in the ground. The man didn’t take anything. The woman told police that her purse and wallet were stolen about two weeks ago. Her door keys were in the purse when it was stolen.

A TOOTHLESS MAN walked into a grocery store on Simpson Street and tried to buy some chicken wings. But he didn’t have enough money. The toothless man asked the store clerk if he could get some chicken wings on credit. No, the clerk said. Then, the toothless man grabbed some newspaper and set it on fire. He walked to the back of the store, put a plastic bag on the burglar bar and set it on fire, burning the burglar bar. Then, the toothless man left. Police arrived but couldn’t find him.

AROUND 12:30 A.M., an officer was on routine patrol at Lenox Road and Georgia 400. He saw a silver Lexus SUV with an expired tag. The officer stopped the Lexus and spoke with the driver, a 45-year-old woman. “I am a female and it’s late,” the woman said. The officer noted that she had slurred speech and glassy eyes.

The officer asked the woman where she was driving from. The woman said, “I am the police commissioner of Roswell.” Again, the officer asked where she was driving from. The house, she said.

The officer asked, “Have you been drinking?” “Of course,” the woman replied. The officer asked for her keys. The woman put the Lexus in drive and tried to leave. The officer gave her a firm order to hand over the keys. This time, she complied.

The officer told her to exit the car. “No, I am on the phone with Roswell police and you do know that I am the former police commissioner of Roswell, right?” the woman said.

Eventually, the officer put the woman in his patrol car, handcuffed her and drove her to a police station for a breath test.

When they arrived, the officer noticed that the woman had escaped from the handcuffs, which were now lying on the seat. The officer asked, “How did you remove the handcuffs?” “Well, that’s because you are an idiot,” the woman said.

The woman took two breath tests and blew .196 on the first and .189 on the second. She was arrested for DUI.

ON BOLLING BROOK DRIVE, a 61-year-old woman said early one morning, someone poured coffee grounds and eggs on her car, a white Cadillac. A male neighbor said he saw a middle-aged woman (another neighbor) yelling and screaming in the 61-year-old woman’s yard. He said the neighbor also dragged around the 61-year-old’s trash can around 2 a.m.

The female neighbor, who has a Southern accent, was not available for questioning.

A 24-YEAR-OLD MAN purchased a dozen donuts at the Krispy Kreme on Ponce de Leon Avenue. He left Krispy Kreme and walked along Penn Avenue. Another man saw him and yelled, “Hey, homeboy.” The man ran toward him and grabbed the box of donuts. The 24-year-old man struggled to hang onto the box of donuts. But the other man punched him in the chest, snatched the donuts and ran. Police showed up and caught the alleged donut snatcher, who weighs about 200 pounds. The donuts were valued at $7.10.

A MUSCULAR MAN poured water on himself and was pacing in and out of traffic on Boulevard. Several cars nearly hit him. An officer arrived and asked the man a few questions. The man’s only response: grunting. The man’s sister said the man has a history of mental illness and violence, and she can’t control him. Police took the man, age 31, to the psychiatric ward at Grady Memorial Hospital.

A 52-YEAR-OLD WOMAN called police and said her blue pig bank was missing from her apartment on Kirkwood Road. The woman said her cleaning woman came to clean on Wednesday, and the pig bank was sitting under a table. The cleaning lady hasn’t returned since the pig bank went missing. And the cleaning woman is the only other person with a key to her house. The blue pig bank contained about $300.

A 36-YEAR-OLD MAN said he gave an unknown woman a ride out of the kindness of his heart. (The woman is a redhead, age 35-40.)The man said during the ride, the woman asked for money and tried to steal his cigarettes. He refused to give her money. So she stabbed his left arm and fled. Medics showed up and treated the man’s arm.

AN ELDERLY WOMAN was cleaning the back yard of her home on Barge Road. She noticed a sheet hidden in the shrubs. She lifted up the sheet and found a rifle. So she called police. The rifle was turned into police property.

All items in The Blotter are taken from actual Atlanta police reports and are public record.