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The Blotter 

Bizarre crimes from Atlanta's police reports

A FATHER AND SON who are from Israel were visiting Atlanta. They rented a car and drove to the Target parking lot on Peachtree Street. The father stayed in the car while his son, age 24, went into Target. The father said three men pulled up in a brown car and got out. All three men wore masks. One man wore sunglasses, too. The three men broke out the rental car windows and took three bags of cash and jewels. Then, they left.

According to the police report, the bags contained $700,000 in diamonds and $10,000 cash. Police found one mask at the scene. The father and son work at a diamond company in Israel.

A 41-YEAR-OLD WOMAN went to a middle school on Collier Drive. She was drunk and pissed off. She pointed her finger at the assistant principal, hitting him on the forehead. The woman said she was going to fuck up the assistant principal and close down this fucking school. (This took place in front of students.) Police arrived and arrested the woman. She wore gold slippers.

AN OFFICER was in an area of North and Kennesaw avenues, which is littered with used crack pipes and condoms. A 30-year-old woman was walking back and forth. The officer stopped her. She said, "I'm depressed, officer, and I want you to know I've been locked up for prostitution many times and if a car stopped now offering money, I'll get in that car."

The officer arrested the woman for disorderly conduct. She wore dirty flip-flops.

AN OFFICER WROTE: "I was informed by the Armed Forces (Marines) that they had an individual that was wanted for desertion out of the military. The suspect ... was located at a behavioral health center off of Peachford Road." The officer and a police sergeant went to the hospital. They escorted the man out and took him to Fulton County Jail.

The man, age 19, lives in Kennesaw. He was charged for deserting the military.

ON MAGNOLIA WAY, a 22-year-old man said his roommate allowed a guest to crash on their couch for a few nights. The man was in the kitchen, entertaining a female friend. The guest said, "I don't want no making out over my food." So the female friend left. The man said, "Well, come put your food away." Then, the guest walked into the kitchen and slapped the man across the face. The man said he was calling police, and the guest left.

A WOMAN FLAGGED DOWN AN OFFICER at the intersection of Linden Avenue and Parkway Drive. She pointed to a green Oldsmobile that was traveling east, and she said she didn't know who was driving her car. The green Oldsmobile pulled behind the officer's patrol car and stopped. The woman said, That's just my husband in the car. (Her husband is bald, and has a tattoo of "T" on his forehead.) The officer asked the husband for his driver's license. He said he didn't have his ID. The woman said she had his ID and gave it to the officer. The officer ran a computer check, which revealed that the husband's license was suspended more than five years ago. Then, the husband said he was in the area to buy crack cocaine and he'd smoked crack an hour earlier. The husband went to jail.

A 35-YEAR-OLD WOMAN walked into her workplace, the leasing office of an apartment complex on East Lake Boulevard. She saw the secretary sitting at her desk. She walked toward another office, which belongs to a woman with long brown hair. Then, she noticed that the brown-haired woman was standing in the doorway, pointing a silver gun at her. Inside the office, she saw an Atlanta police officer, whom she knows by sight. He said, Don't worry, it's not loaded. Then, the officer showed her the bullets. Then, she said, the police officer retrieved the gun from the brown-haired woman, loaded it, and put it in his holster.

TWO OFFICERS were patrolling Metropolitan Parkway. They saw a middle-aged man trying to start a fight with his brother. The officers stopped, but the brother didn't want to prosecute.

An hour later, the officers saw the same middle-aged man trying to start another fight with different people. His fists were clenched and he was in fighting stance. One officer said, What's wrong? The man replied, "People just piss me off!" He was arrested for disorderly conduct. On the police report, his address is listed as "under the bridge."

AN OFFICER GOT A CALL about a road hazard at the intersection of Landrum Drive and Harbin Road. Upon arrival, the officer saw a bowl filled with food items in the intersection. A dead chicken was lying next to the bowl. The chicken's head was next to its body. There was a brown paper bag nearby. Some feathers and blood were inside the bag. Police photographed the chicken, put it inside the bag and put the bag on the side of the road for sanitation crews to pick up. A police report was filed.

A 75-YEAR-OLD WOMAN on Springdale Road called 911 and said she last saw her handgun inside her pouch, near her Bible. Now, the gun is gone. She said the gun was a gift. A police report was filed.

AN UNDERCOVER OFFICER was in an unmarked car at Cypress and 8th streets. A man hopped into his car and exposed his genitals. The man began to stroke his genitals and told the officer that he would be serviced right for money. The man said the amount would be set after the sex act. He was arrested for solicitation.

A 40-YEAR-OLD WOMAN said her uncle left her at a nightclub. So she came home with someone else. She tipped the person she rode with, and her uncle confronted her. (She lives with her uncle on Church Street.) The woman said that her grandmother held her while her uncle kicked her. He fled before police arrived.

Items in The Blotter are taken from actual Atlanta Police reports. The Blotter Diva compiles them and puts them into her own words.

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