The Blotter 

Bizarre crimes from Atlanta police reports

ONE FRIDAY NIGHT AT A BUCKHEAD CLUB, a Canadian man was found passed out drunk on the nightclub floor. The Canadian man is 40 years old. It was about 11:40 p.m. Police found the Canadian man's friend and released him into the friend's care.

AT A PIZZA RESTAURANT ON NORTHSIDE DRIVE, a man ordered a margherita pizza and paid the cashier for his meal. About five minutes later, he returned with the pizza -- about one slice had been eaten. "This is not what I thought it was," the man said. "Can I get something else?" The cashier talked to her manager and came back with an answer: The man could either get something else from the menu, or write his name down and get a free meal at a later date. The man got mad. "I want my money back!" he shouted. After several minutes, he picked up a bottle of chardonnay. "How much is this?" he asked. The cashier said it was $20. He asked to buy it. She gave him the bill. "You still owe me money, right?" he asked. The cashier said she didn't owe him any money. Then, the man smashed the wine bottle on the ground. The cashier called police and started to clean up the shattered glass. "That's right!" the man said. "Now, you have to clean up my mess. You are cleaning up after me!" Before police arrived, the man left in a black Mercedes.

AN ARIZONA MAN stayed at a hotel on Pine Street. The next afternoon, he tried to get a refund for the previous night's stay. The Arizona man said he wanted his money back because he feared for his safety in that neighborhood. The manager said he could only return the man's security deposit, plus he would have to speak with corporate to get the money. The Arizona man got angry. As he left the hotel lobby, he said he needed his money and he would be back.

Minutes later, the Arizona man returned with a handgun, saying, "I want my money back." That's according to the hotel manger, who yelled, "He's got a gun! He's got a gun!" The Arizona man then grabbed $1,200 from the hotel cash register and fled. The hotel manager gave police a copy of the Arizona man's driver's license, which apparently he had to provide when he checked into the hotel.

AROUND 4 A.M., a middle-aged woman was at a nightclub on Campbellton Road. She said a middle-aged man wearing a blue leisure suit grabbed her buttocks. The man in the blue leisure suit fled before police arrived. A police report was filed.

AT THE GEORGIA WORLD CONGRESS CENTER, a police officer was randomly checking taxi drivers to see if they had maps with them. One taxi driver didn't have a map. "But," he said, "my cell phone has a navigation system on it." The officer explained that the taxi driver needs to have a map in the form of a book, not a cell-phone map. Then, he gave the taxi driver a ticket.

AN UNDERCOVER OFFICER was working in a known male prostitute area in Midtown. A man offered to perform oral sex -- and the monetary payment would be determined afterward, depending on how good it was. Then, the man offered to change the undercover officer's tire, which was going flat. The man also said they could shower together after the oral sex. The man, age 30, was arrested for solicitation.

A POLICE OFFICER was leaving police headquarters at City Hall East when the arm of the access gate struck the front part of his helmet. The helmet was damaged and so was the access gate. The officer wrote, "I have experienced stiffness and neck pain since this incident."

A POLICE OFFICER got word that a man driving a white Dodge Caravan was exposing himself in a convenience store parking lot on Richardson Avenue. The officer found the man and pulled him over. The man wasn't wearing any pants or underwear. He had an erection, which he tried to hide by reaching for a pair of gray shorts. The officer wrote, "There was an open container of Vaseline in the cup holder. [The man] had a greasy left hand." The officer asked the man if he was right-handed or left-handed. The man said he was left-handed. The man, age 66, was arrested for indecency.

A COUPLE RETURNED to their apartment on St. Charles Avenue in Virginia-Highland. Someone had broken in and stolen a Dell laptop and a digital camera. The thief also helped him/herself to a can of Miller Lite beer ... and left the beer can and a cigarette lighter sitting on the kitchen counter. Police arrived and dusted the beer can and the lighter for fingerprints. Police were able to get good prints from the items the thief left behind and the prints were then turned in to police identification.

A 35-YEAR-OLD WOMAN said her ex-boyfriend asked to come over so he could wash his face. When she let him into her apartment, the ex-boyfriend hit her and cut her hair with a knife. Then, he said when her cousin comes back, he will kill them both. The cousin came back and went into a bedroom. A few minutes later, the ex-boyfriend told his ex-girlfriend to finish her ironing and unlocked the door. She took off running. The ex-boyfriend was gone when police arrived.

A COUPLE ARGUED about who was going to watch the kids that day. The girlfriend said she started to walk away when she felt something hit her back. The boyfriend said he got frustrated and threw a flip-flop shoe toward her. He said he didn't intend to hit her. The boyfriend, age 31, was arrested and taken to jail.

Items in The Blotter are taken from actual Atlanta police reports. The Blotter Diva compiles them and puts them into her own words.

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