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Bizarre crimes from Atlanta police reports

AN OFFICER SAW A HORSE CARRIAGE in downtown Atlanta. He noted that the horse was dropping poop on the street as it passed by. The officer followed the horse carriage and pulled it over at Andrew Young International Boulevard and Peachtree Street. The horse-carriage driver said the horse had been maneuvering around some construction workers and that's why the horse was dropping poop. The officer gave the driver a ticket for "improper diaper."

A MIDDLE-AGED WOMAN called police about a burglary at her apartment on Sidney Marcus Boulevard. A female officer arrived. The woman said several pairs of her old shoes had holes under the bottom. The woman said her ex-husband was plotting against her, and he has tapped her phone. (The ex-husband is in California.) The woman made reference to the fact that she is seeing a psychologist and is very depressed. She said she spoke with the FBI in January because she believes her husband and nephew murdered someone or were engaged in criminal activity. Then, the woman started to cry. She asked what the Atlanta Police Department could do. The officer said a police report will be filed. The officer noted that the woman was very confused and she appeared to need someone to talk to. The officer also noted that there were no signs of forced entry to her apartment.

A MIDDLE-AGED WOMAN said she parked her Honda Accord on West Wieuca Road one morning. When she returned, her window was shattered. The only item reported missing: a cross worth $20.

A MAN WAS YELLING AND WAVING HIS ARMS as he rushed toward a group of construction workers at Hartsfield-Jackson International Airport, police said. A construction worker said the man was trying to fight them and wouldn't leave them alone. The man said he was "God" and "Martin Luther King Jr." The man smelled of alcohol and was having delusions, the officer noted. The man resisted arrest, but eventually police got him into a patrol car. An officer asked, "Are you taking your medication?" The man said he was schizophrenic ... then he went back to saying he was God and Martin Luther King Jr.

An officer ran a computer check on the man. Turns out, there was a warrant for his arrest for a peeping tom charge in DeKalb County. The man, age 32, went to the psychiatric ward at Grady Memorial Hospital.

A CASHIER SAID a man walked into a discount store on Oak Street and asked for change for a $1 bill. The cashier said she couldn't open her register unless the man bought something, so the man left. According to store videotape, the man returned about 15 minutes later and walked around. Then he grabbed a package of peanuts and handed the cashier a $1 bill. The cashier said when she opened the register, the man started grabbing money. He pulled up his shirt to show her a gun, then added, "Yo ma, don't lose your life over this. This is how we do it in New Orleans." The man was wearing a T-shirt that read "I love New Orleans." The cashier said the man took an unknown amount of money and left in a P.T. Cruiser.

THE MANAGER OF A STORAGE FACILITY on Northside Drive said someone broke into one storage unit and took everything inside. A man from New Orleans is renting that storage unit. He said thieves made off with about $4,000 worth of his stuff: his lamp, big-screen TV, mattress and his fish tank.

A 26-YEAR-OLD DECATUR MAN said he parked his 2006 black Porsche convertible in a parking lot at the corner of Juniper and 5th streets in Midtown. He returned the next day, and his Porsche was gone. So he called police and reported the Porsche as stolen. Later, the man called police again and said he found his Porsche on Peachtree Street, and he must have been wrong about where he parked it in the first place.

IN BUCKHEAD, a store manager said his store was taking pre-orders for the new PlayStation 3 video games. He said it was first-come, first-serve, and by the time one man reached the front of the line, the store was sold out. The man asked if the store could call him when more PlayStation 3 games were available. The store manager said he doesn't do business that way. According to the store manager, the man said, "I'm going to go home to get my gun, and I am coming back here to shoot you."

THERE WAS A CAR ACCIDENT on I-75/85 at North Avenue. According to the written police report, one driver was walking around nervously and touching his head in a manner consistent with "guilt latent actions." An officer asked, "How much have you had to drink?" The man replied, "I just came from a club." The officer said, "OK, but how much have you had to drink?" The man replied, "Three beers." The man failed some field sobriety tests, so he was arrested for DUI.

In the patrol car, the man said, "I don't understand, I had two drinks and here I am." The officer reminded him that he'd said "three beers" earlier. The man replied, "I said that? That's strange, I don't even drink beer. I remember having two Long Island ice teas and that's it. I haven't been out in such a long time." At the jail, the man complimented the officer on his professionalism several times. The man, age 58, wore leather boots.

AT A STRIP CLUB ON BAKER STREET, a 22-year-old dancer said another employee informed her that a customer was unsatisfied with her performance. So the dancer walked over to the man and tapped him on the back. According to the dancer, the man said, "If this is not a light-skinned female, then you need to leave." Then, she said, the man poured a drink on her. So she poured her drink on him in return. The dancer said she was then punched in the face several times. She said she woke up in another room, with a swollen face. The dancer could only tell police the man's race, no further description.

Items in The Blotter are taken from actual Atlanta police reports. The Blotter Diva compiles them and puts them into her own words.

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