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Bizarre crimes from Atlanta police reports

A MAN FLAGGED DOWN POLICE and said he was just hit by a woman driving at the intersection of Piedmont Avenue and Renaissance Parkway. He said he believed the woman was drunk, and she told him not to call police. The man said he informed her that he was calling police, and she took off running -- to a bar. The man said he tried to stop her, but she punched his stomach several times. He said he let her go, because he didn't want to fight.

The police officer went to the bar and found the woman, talking to some friends. The bartender said this woman walked in and immediately ordered two shots of Jägermeister and drank them as fast as she could. The woman, age 28, admitted to drinking the Jäger, and several beers before she got to that bar. Eventually, she was arrested for DUI.

ON EUCLID AVENUE, a man said he returned home and found a baby stroller filled with CDs on his front porch. The stroller contained 197 CDs, according to the police report. The man has no idea who left this CD-filled baby stroller ... or why. No word on whether the CDs are rock 'n' roll, gospel or kiddie tunes.

A WOMAN WHO DRIVES "THE BUC" -- a free shuttle that takes people around Buckhead -- contacted police about a troublesome passenger. She said she picked up an older man known as "Curly," and he asked her, "Why do whites ride for free, but blacks have to pay?" (Blotter note: Curly is not black, according to the police report.) She said she told him that no one pays, since the buc is a free service. Then, she said, Curly made reference to the fact that he was going to Taser her and the other drivers, and he was tired of being treated this way. She said Curly reached into his overcoat, pulled out a black Taser, and again threatened to Taser her and other drivers. She noted that she tried to calm him down by saying "Sir, it's a free bus ride, I am sorry you feel this way." Then, she contacted her supervisor.

A woman with the Buckhead Area Transportation Management Association (BATMA) told police that during the last two years, BATMA and the buc drivers have had several incidents with Curly. She said they hadn't made any previous police reports about him. The police officer noted that Curly didn't actually hurt this buc driver. A police report was filed, and the officer notified his supervisors. Curly is described as wearing a button-down shirt and black dress pants, and he's about 65 to 70 years old.

A SECURITY GUARD at a law office on Peachtree Street said a man defecated in his pants and then shook his leg, spraying the defecation all over the lobby entrance. The incident was recorded on the office security camera. The man is described as age 43 to 47, with a mustache. He left with a woman in a 2007 black Lexus, the guard said.

A POLICE OFFICER SAID a middle-aged man entered the World of Coca-Cola three times, demanding a drink. After the third try, the man refused to go and became violent, police noted. Police doused the man with pepper spray and noted that he appeared demented. The man claimed to be Frederick Douglass (not his real name). He was arrested for trespassing.

TWO FEMALE MEDICS said a man vandalized their ambulance while it was parked on Cleveland Avenue. They said the man entered through the back door, emptied some cabinets and tossed around some medical supplies. One medic said she tried to pull him out, but the man threw her onto a stretcher and started choking her. So the other medic said she jumped in and hit the man. The man fought back, but eventually ran away, they said. Police looked for this man, but came up short.

A MAN WITH LONG, CURLY RED HAIR advertised himself as an escort on the Internet, an officer wrote. The police officer said he contacted the man, who agreed to meet him at a hotel on Pollard Boulevard for $300. When the man arrived, he asked for the money and then started undressing, the officer noted. The man is described as a female impersonator wearing hazel contact lenses and a black coat with a multicolored hexagon on it. Also, he has a tattoo of a woman with wings, and another tattoo of a woman with snakes coiled around her, police noted. The contents of his purse included: three condoms, two tubes of lip gloss and some lubricant. He was arrested for escorting without a permit.

AN OFFICER was driving south on Peachtree Road when he saw a silver Porsche. The police officer tried to pass the Porsche, but it swerved into his lane, he noted. The officer checked the Porsche's tag -- it expired in October 2006. So the officer stopped the Porsche and spoke with the driver, a 36-year-old Buckhead woman. The officer noted, "... it took [the woman] one to two minutes to figure out how to roll down the window. As she rolled down the window, a very strong odor of alcoholic beverage came from the vehicle." A computer check revealed that the expired tag on the Porsche actually belonged to the woman's Mercedes. The officer asked her for paperwork on the car. He said she fumbled around for about three minutes and said, "What am I looking for?" Eventually, the woman was arrested for DUI, among other charges.

Items in the Blotter are taken from actual Atlanta police reports. The Blotter Diva compiles them and puts them into her own words.

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