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Bizarre crimes from Atlanta police reports

A 75-YEAR-OLD MAN heard a noise outside his home on Defoors Ferry Road. He said he walked outside and discovered a man removing siding from his house with a crowbar. The 75-year-old asked him what he was doing. The man replied, "You got termites." The 75-year-old said he did not have termites. Then the stranger left on foot.

The 75-year-old man described the stranger to police. "He was in his late 30s to early 40s and had very large ears that were uncovered by a wool cap," the officer wrote. "He said that he resembled the cartoon character on the cover of Mad magazine." The officer looked around, but couldn't find the stranger.

AT THE CLERMONT LOUNGE, an Alabama woman said she got into a fight with her boyfriend, who was very drunk. She said her boyfriend was so irate that the Clermont Lounge employees asked him to leave. (Blotter note: Anyone too rowdy for the Clermont needs to get his own reality TV show immediately!) So the boyfriend left. A little bit later, the woman said, the boyfriend called her and said he'd damaged her car. Sure enough, the front and rear windshields of the woman's Honda Civic were broken.

AN OFFICER went to a hotel on Spring Street to deal with an out-of-control man. Upon arrival, the officer saw the man he knew as "Mr. President" sitting on the curb outside the hotel. The officer spoke with the hotel clerk, and here's her version of Mr. President's hotel adventure: Mr. President walked into the hotel lobby and hid under a table. The clerk asked what the problem was. Mr. President told her to call police. Then he stood up and started destroying everything he could get his hands on. He grabbed lamps, tables, chairs, loose papers and dishes -- and threw the items around the lobby. Then Mr. President went to the snack bar, picked up some candy, chips and soda bottles and hurled them at the hotel clerk, hitting her. Then Mr. President went to the beverage area and knocked over coffee pots, cups, dishes and other stuff.

Mr. President "could not explain why he did what he did," the officer wrote. The hotel manager said the whole incident was on videotape, but the tape wouldn't be available until the next day. Mr. President was charged with criminal damage, simple assault and battery. Mr. President is described as a gray-haired homeless man, age 60 to 65.

A WOMAN told police that while she was driving on College Avenue, she passed her neighbor driving in the opposite direction. She said the neighbor opened his mouth and "He acted like a dog that was going to attack me!" She said the male neighbor never stopped his car, and all this happened in a brief passing. She said that her car window was rolled up but that "he was trying to bite me!!" An officer asked if the neighbor was perhaps "yawning" or "coughing." But the woman was certain that he was going to bite her.

So police talked to the neighbor, who lives on Rocky Ford Avenue. He said he was home all day and never went to College Avenue that day. The woman believes she is being harassed and the neighbor is not telling the truth. The officer wrote, "Police did not feel that any threat was conveyed by an open mouth and no hand gestures."

A 28-YEAR-OLD WOMAN said she was in a crowd of people trying to speak with soul singer Anthony Hamilton in the lobby of a luxury Buckhead hotel. During this time, a man stole her cell phone, the woman said. She said she asked the man to return her cell phone, but he refused. Now, the woman said, the man is calling her family members and threatening to kill her if they don't send a certain amount of cash through Western Union. (The police report didn't list how much cash the man allegedly wanted.)

A 48-YEAR-OLD WOMAN said she left her car running on Simspon Road and a man nicknamed "Snag" hopped in and drove away. She said she didn't call police right away because she knows Snag and figured he was just goofing around. After about two hours, she called police and reported her car stolen. She doesn't know Snag's last name.

ON TEMPLE STREET, a woman said she argued with her husband. The wife said her husband, 64, picked up a lemon and hit her eye with it. Police noted that her eye was swollen and bruised. She refused medical treatment. Hubby was gone when police showed up.

ON COLLIER DRIVE, a woman said her 26-year-old son sells candy to children in the neighborhood. She said she came downstairs and saw three kids in the house. She said she told her son to let the kids stay outside -- and the son got upset. She said her son kicked her foot, so she threw a soda can at him to defend herself. Then, the mother said, her son hit her face. The son was gone when police showed up. Mom told police that her son has a scar on his right cheek from a gunshot.

Items in the Blotter are taken from actual Atlanta police reports. The Blotter Diva compiles them and puts them into her own words.

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