The Blotter 

Bizarre crimes from Atlanta police reports

TALK ABOUT RICH KIDS: A fifth-grader was handing out large amounts of cash to other students at an elementary school on Northside Drive, according to school officials. More than $250 was passed out, the social worker said. When school officials asked the fifth-grader about it, he voluntarily handed over the rest of the money: a whopping $19,124. School officials called a police detective and the fifth-grader's mom to the school. The detective asked the mother whether her son should have money in excess of $100 on his person. No, she said. The detective asked whether she had large sums of money in her home. No, she said. The detective pointed out that more than $19,000 was found on her son. "[The mother] then recanted her earlier affirmations and said that she had around $19,500 stored in her dresser (her retirement fund), but that she did not mention it, as she did not think that her son would go into her drawer and take the money," according to a police report. She refused to let police search her home. So police put the $19,124 in five manila envelopes, and put the envelopes about three feet apart on the floor. Then, they let police dogs do their thing. One dog gave a positive sign for "narcotics odor" on an envelope. Police put a hold on the money for narcotics and asset forfeiture. The investigation continues.

THIS PLACE IS A ZOO: An employee at Zoo Atlanta reported that the zoo received some unusual phone calls. He said the male caller spoke about a donation he made to a fund, and then about a conspiracy involving a corpse. Then, the caller apparently called again and asked for someone to shoot him. "His final call was a wish for the nation of Israel to pay for its crimes," police wrote. There was no direct threat made to the zoo or its employees. No one recognized the caller's voice.

BABE, I HATE YOUR JOB, BUT I LOVE YOUR MONEY: A 22-year-old woman said her boyfriend got upset at the club because she gave a lap dance to his friend. They went home and argued, she said. She was afraid, so she ran up the street. The boyfriend was gone when police arrived. She said the $300 that she earned at the club that night was also gone. She didn't want to press charges.

PAPA DON'T PREACH? A man said someone poured some type of liquid on his 2002 black Mercedes SL5 while it was in a church parking lot on Metropolitan Avenue. The liquid appeared to be some kind of paint thinner or acid, because the paint on the hood and grill was melted off and bubbling up, police noted. The man said he is the church's pastor and the police chaplain for the Atlanta Police Department.

THE ULTIMATE BAD DREAM: A person was screaming inside an apartment on Monroe Drive. A police officer arrived. There was a nude man in the apartment, the officer noted, along with blood smears all over the walls, and broken glass and furniture thrown on the floor. The nude man, age 43, said he'd had a nightmare and broken out the bedroom window. The man didn't know the day, date or month. There was a large cut on the palm of his right hand. The officer determined the man was on some type of drug. Medics arrived and took him to a hospital. The officer looked around the apartment some more: The bed was upside down and the refrigerator was unplugged. The water heater was damaged and water had leaked onto the floor. "The carpet was ruined with waste and food debris," the officer wrote.

UNDER THE GUN, PART I: A police officer said he and a friend returned to his house on Sherrie Lane after a night out at a club. The friend had had a little too much to drink, so the police officer was supposed to drive the friend home in the friend's white Jaguar. The police officer said he went inside his house for five minutes, leaving the friend standing outside, with the Jaguar running and both doors wide open. When the officer returned, the Jaguar was gone. The officer found his friend inside his house and asked: "What happened to your Jaguar, and why weren't you watching it?" The friend said he felt very sick and asked the officer to take him home. The officer complied, and drove around for a while, looking for the white Jaguar. Then, the officer realized he'd left his police-issued handgun in the Jaguar.

UNDER THE GUN, PART II: An off-duty police officer reported that someone broke into his 2002 Jeep Cherokee while it was parked on Campbellton Road. The officer had left his police-issued handgun, some handcuffs, three gun magazines, and 34 rounds of ammunition in the car. All were reported stolen.

TROUBLE AT THE KFC: A 29-year-old man said he went to his girlfriend's job at Kentucky Fried Chicken on North Avenue to give her a ride home. He said they argued, and he threw beer on her, and she threw hot water on him.

The girlfriend's story: She accidentally threw the hot water while trying to avoid the beer. Both were arrested and taken to jail.

Items in the Blotter are taken from actual Atlanta police reports. The Blotter Diva compiles them and puts them into her own words.


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