The Blotter 

Bizarre crimes from Atlanta police reports

MY MATHEMATICAL MIND: At a check-cashing business on Forsyth Street, a clerk said a man came in to cash a Georgia Department of Corrections resident account check for $11,584.79. The clerk said she went to the safe to get $10,000, but got $20,000 without realizing it. She said she gave the man $20,000, plus an additional $1,237.25. (Total: $21,237.25. For those of you who despise math: If she hadn't given him the extra $10,000, the total would have been $11,237.25 -- thus shorting him $347.54. Either way, her math skills appear seriously flawed.) The clerk said she didn't realize she gave away the extra money until she counted the money in the safe later. (The Blotter Diva says: Could this woman pleeeeeaaaaaase get a job at my bank?)

DOUBLE TROUBLE, PART I: A 37-year-old man said his ex-girlfriend's sister tried to run over him in a gold minivan. He said he was next to his car in his apartment's parking lot when this occurred. He said the sister yelled, "I got you, you're mine!" -- and he jumped away to avoid the gold minivan. Also, he said, his ex-girlfriend was sitting in the passenger seat -- and the minivan hit his car, causing minor damage.

The man returned to his apartment and found it ransacked. A computer, fax machine and three pairs of shoes were in a bathtub ... which was full of water, police noted. The ex-girlfriend still has an apartment key, the man said.

DOUBLE TROUBLE, PART II: On Harwell Road, a 53-year-old man said he argued with his live-in girlfriend about a missing bag. He said she hit him with an iron and other items in the apartment. He said he ran outside, and the girlfriend and her daughter clobbered him with bricks and a frying pan. Somehow, he said, he was stabbed in the back twice. He didn't know whether his girlfriend or her daughter wielded the knife. Both the girlfriend (age 42) and the daughter (age 27) went to jail.

FAKE DRUGS, REAL JAIL: An officer said he saw a man sitting on a sidewalk near Forsyth Street. As the officer got closer, he saw the man throw two small colored bags onto the sidewalk. "There were several trash cans available in the area," the officer wrote. The red bag appeared to contain fake crack cocaine, and the purple bag appeared to contain fake marijuana, the officer noted. He arrested the man for a very real charge: littering. The man, age 20, went to jail.

UNDER COVER OF THE NIGHT: An officer responded to a public-indecency call on Wynfield Way. A neighborhood security guard said she saw a man masturbating inside his house between 1 and 3 a.m. -- on several occasions. She said she could plainly see the man masturbating, because he turned the light on. The officer spoke with the man, age 39. He said it was a misunderstanding. The officer wrote: "[The man] was advised to keep private things private. [The security guard] was advised that public indecency must take place on public property." No charges filed. (The Blotter Diva says: Curtains, people. Curtains make the world go round. Then, you don't see what your neighbors do, and they don't see you.)

OLDE BUCKHEAD BITES THE DUST: Around 3 a.m. in Buckhead Village, an officer saw a man wearing blue overalls riding a bike. The officer followed him to the roof of a business in Buckhead Village. The man, age 46, said he'd lived on the roof for about five years and had permission from the previous property owner to stay there. The officer noted the man had all sorts of belongings in this small room on the roof. The man was "very polite and understanding of the situation and apologized for not knowing that the new owners were prosecuting people staying inside the business," the officer wrote. (Note: Developer Ben Carter now controls most of Buckhead Village and plans to turn it into a superswanky shopping district, à la Rodeo Drive.) The officer explained about the criminal-trespass warning effective for all the clubs and businesses that closed in Buckhead Village. Another business owner vouched for the man who lived on the roof. The business owner said he is a good person who is very respectful to everybody. The man, age 46, was charged with trespassing.

HERE, TAKE MY WALLET: Around midnight, a 44-year-old man said he was walking on Murphy Avenue when a man in black jogging shorts and a black T-shirt approached. He said this Man in Black walked with him for about five minutes, and asked questions about his sexual orientation. Apparently, the Man in Black confessed that he was gay and started undoing the 44-year-old man's belt. The 44-year-old said he immediately pulled away. Apparently, the Man in Black shoved his wallet and a Georgia birth certificate into the 44-year-old man's pants pocket -- then, he grabbed his arm and said he was going to "cut off his privates." The 44-year-old didn't see a knife. He said he took off and ran. He turned in the wallet and birth certificate to police.

LOST HER TO PIMPIN: A 41-year-old man told police that his girlfriend had been kidnapped. He said he just recently got out of jail for domestic violence on this same girlfriend, and she was not at the rooming house where he left her. Apparently, his girlfriend called his friend and said she wasn't ready to come home, and she was with a guy known as "Pimpin." The man couldn't give police a good reason for why she was allegedly kidnapped, officers noted.

Another witness came forward. He said he saw the man's girlfriend at a store, and a nightclub on Simpson Road. He said she was with another man at the store, and with several men at the nightclub. He said she appeared to be walking around on her own free will, and she's been saying that she doesn't want to be with the 41-year-old because he beats her. He said she is staying with Pimpin at some apartment.

Items in the Blotter are taken from actual Atlanta police reports. The Blotter Diva compiles them and puts them into her own words.


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