The Blotter 

Bizarre crimes from Atlanta police reports

HOLIDAY CARD SHARK: A 67-year-old woman said someone stole her credit-card information and used it to charge $1,600 at the Georgia Aquarium. (The Blotter Diva must ask: How does someone rack up a $1,600 tab at the Georgia Aquarium? Can you buy your own personal snapping turtle? A beluga whale for the bathtub?)

"SILENT NIGHT" DENIED: An officer dealt with a 911 hang-up call from an apartment on Piedmont Avenue. A 31-year-old woman answered the door. She denied calling 911 and said, "The argument was nothing. It's just a boyfriend/girlfriend quarrel."

The boyfriend's side of the story: He said he and his girlfriend worked late, went to her house and got in bed. He said he just wanted to get some sleep, but his girlfriend wanted to talk about their relationship. He said his girlfriend punched his groin, then grabbed her magazine and started reading, as if nothing had happened. The boyfriend said he argued with her, but didn't touch her. The girlfriend admitted to punching his groin because "he didn't want to talk, and I did." Police charged her with "disturbing the peace" and took her to jail.

SELF-MADE SANTA GETS LUMP OF COAL: A 58-year-old man said he routinely gives money to underprivileged children by setting up bank accounts in the form of gift cards. "[The man] stated he set up [a] $500 gift card for a young lady at Bank of America. The clerk who set up the account mistakenly linked the account to his checking account, and the account is now missing $7,000," the officer wrote. The man said the bank admitted fault for linking the accounts together. The officer wrote: "[He] stated he would press charges for the unauthorized use of the $6,500 that the child and her mother withdrew from his account."

SANTA KNOWS WHO'S NAUGHTY: On Myrtle Street, a woman said she called police around 3:40 a.m. because two men were having sex next to her house. Police investigated and released the two men. Around 9:30 a.m. the next morning, the woman found a black wallet that apparently belonged to one of the frisky men. She gave the wallet to police. They found a Georgia ID for a 36-year-old man in the wallet and ran a background check on the man's name. Turns out he has an active warrant for fraud in Gwinnett County. Police planned to go to the man's address and arrest him.

THIS HOLIDAY PARTY SUCKS! A man said he went to a party on Piedmont Avenue and put his car keys on a table. When he left the party, he said he picked up his keys, walked outside and discovered his car was gone ... and so was the ignition key from his key ring. He said it's a company car (a 2006 Ford 500) that contains a GPS unit. When the police report was made, the car was already tracking in a Charlotte, N.C., location.

HOLIDAY CRACK-UP: Apparently, a man ran inside an elementary school on Toomer Street and screamed that someone was trying to rob him. He was shirtless and barefoot. The assistant principal said she locked down the school. Police arrived and handcuffed the man. An officer asked him what was wrong. "[The man] stated a guy at the blue house on the corner tried to rob him," the officer wrote. He said he had been at the blue house all night, smoking crack with a woman and this guy. He said this guy tried to lock him in the basement, so two more men -- who were hiding in the house -- could rob him. The officer drove the man back to the blue house. The woman was still locked in the basement. All three went to jail.

ROCKIN' AROUND THE MARTA BUS: A citizen said a man was yelling and throwing newspapers and a newspaper stand into the intersection of Ralph David Abernathy Boulevard and Cascade Road. An officer saw the man yelling that a MARTA bus driver would not let him on a bus. The man said, "Nothing in the newspapers were classified, so what if they were in the street?" A witness said the man cursed the bus driver, pounded the MARTA bus, and tried to tear the windshield wipers off the bus. According to the police report, the man weighs 600 pounds. He went to jail.

PLEASE RENT IT'S A WONDERFUL LIFE: Police dealt with a 40-year-old suicidal man on Ajax Street. His mother said he threatened to hurt himself with a knife. She said he was taking a shower, and he refused to leave the bathroom, or take his schizophrenia medication. Two officers talked with the son for nearly 30 minutes, trying to convince him to leave the shower. An officer wrote: "[He] then sat on the toilet and proceeded to use it as we looked on. After [he] finished using the toilet, we continued to plead with him in an attempt to persuade him to get dressed so he could be transported to Grady Hospital." Eventually, police pepper-sprayed him "as he sat on the toilet." Medics took him to a hospital.

WHO'S THE GRINCH HERE? A 30-year-old woman said she and her boyfriend bought $150 worth of clothes for her kids for Christmas. She said she hid the clothes in her closet. Ten days later, she checked the closet and the clothes were gone. She has four kids. She said the only people with access to her apartment on Pine Street are herself, her kids, her boyfriend and the maintenance workers.

HOLIDAY TIP: DON'T LET YOUR DOG FLY ALONE: A 40-year-old woman said she tried to ship her Great Dane from Montgomery, Ala., to Providence, R.I. The officer wrote: "She stated the dog had to change planes in Atlanta." Apparently, the dog missed its connecting flight at Hartsfield-Jackson International Airport. A Delta employee said a male employee dropped off the dog at the airport and left it there. The man offered to take a polygraph test -- he said he had no idea what happened to the dog. Delta suspended the man for violating its policies. The Great Dane is worth $2,350.

Items in the Blotter are taken from actual Atlanta police reports. The Blotter Diva compiles them and puts them into her own words.

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