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Bizarre crimes from Atlanta police reports

Keeping abreast of the situation: A female bartender talked to police about an alleged biting at her workplace, a martini bar on Piedmont Road. The bartender said the previous night, two male friends of her manager came to her bar and gave her their business cards. One man started harassing the other man about being homosexual, she said. The other man became defensive and upset, she added. The bartender said she tried to comfort the homosexual man by giving him a hug and saying, "It's OK, we love the gays." The man bit her breast during the hug, she said. The bartender told police she was now concerned because the bitten area was tender. An officer wrote: "She requested that I look at the site of the injury to determine whether or not skin had been broken, as she was worried about infection or disease." So the officer checked it out. "There were no bite marks, broken skin, or bruising on her breast," the officer noted. The bartender didn't want to press charges. She said she didn't believe the man bit her with malice. She said he was very drunk and may not have been fully aware of his actions.

Black rose and bikini bottoms: Around 10 a.m., an officer responded to a possible burglary at a home on Wylie Street. According to some neighbors, two male suspects fled in a white Cadillac. The entire house was ransacked, the officer noted. "On the living room wall was written in marker 'Black Rose good dick next time I see you,'" the officer wrote. "Next to the writing [was] the lower half of a red-and-black bikini. ..." The 26-year-old female resident later identified the bikini bottoms as hers. But she wasn't there when the officer first visited. A few hours later, the officer returned to talk to her. "When I arrived at the scene, the ransacked house was cleaned up and put back together," the officer noted. At first, she said nothing was missing, but later she said her boyfriend's diamond watch might be missing, the officer noted. "The writing on the wall suggests [the woman] knows the suspects, however, she states that she knows nothing about 'Black Rose' nor does she know anyone who drives a Cadillac," the officer wrote.

Not-so-funny haha: A woman said she parked her silver 2001 BMW on West Marietta Street. When she returned to her car, she noticed someone had carved the phrase "Ha-ha" into the hood. No suspects.

Car wars: A 26-year-old man said he parked his 1993 green Toyota Camry outside his home on Landrum Street. The next morning, he noticed the word "Crips" was spray-painted in blue, on his front and rear windshields. Also, a five-point star was spray-painted on his driver's-side window. The man has no idea why someone would do this to his car.

Get chewed out: One morning on Honeysuckle Lane, a 39-year-old man said he noticed a flat tire on his 1998 blue Buick Cen. "There also appeared to be chewed-up food on the hood of the vehicle," an officer noted. The man said he believes his neighbor is responsible. The officer noted, "... but there is no evidence to support his claim."

Wanna feel fresh for the new year? At a grocery store on Cheshire Bridge Road, several employees were holding a shoplifting suspect on the ground. They said the man fought with the manager and employees when they tried to stop him. A police officer searched the man and found six or seven cans of Axe body spray in his pants legs and pocket sleeves. (The Axe body spray is worth $41.77). The man, age 30, said his shoulder was injured. He was charged with shoplifting and went to Grady Memorial Hospital. (No word on the man's aroma at the time of arrest.)

Perhaps it's time to move? Around 8:30 p.m. on Edgewood Avenue, an officer saw a woman "with her shirt off and her pants down to her knees, exposing her genital area to a group of males standing in the same area and the passing motorist." The officer wrote: "I told [her] that she needs to put on her clothes." The woman, age 28, was arrested for public indecency. According to the police report, the woman lives on Climax Avenue.

Because jury duty doesn't suck enough: A woman was called for jury duty. Around 8:30 a.m., she was walking to the courthouse on Martin Luther King Jr. Drive. Apparently, she tripped over a slight rise in the sidewalk and slammed her head. There was fresh blood on the sidewalk, an officer noted. Medics arrived and determined the woman had a possible broken nose and possible head trauma. They took her to a hospital. Also, the woman lost her glasses after the fall. An officer looked around, but couldn't find her glasses.

Brave move of the week: A married couple said around 4 a.m., an unknown man walked through the back door of their house on Warren Street. They said they scared away the man by yelling at him and throwing stuff at him. Nothing was reported damaged or stolen.

Hope springs eternal: A 33-year-old woman walked into a police precinct to talk about her motorcycle. She said on June 1, 2007, she asked her ex-boyfriend to move her motorcycle off the sidewalk and put it on the patio of her home on Wilkes Circle. She said her ex-boyfriend took off with her motorcycle, and he never returned. The officer wrote, "When asked why she never called the police for almost six months, she replied, 'I was trying to give him time to bring it back, hoping that he would.'"

Items in the Blotter are taken from actual Atlanta police reports. The Blotter Diva compiles them and puts them into her own words.

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