The Blotter 

Bizarre crimes from Atlanta police reports

Just shoot me: An officer said he saw a black pickup truck weaving on Ponce de Leon Avenue around 11 p.m. The officer said he tried to get the driver's attention, and the black pickup truck almost hit his patrol car. Police stopped the truck and talked to the driver, a 40-year-old man from Alpharetta. He admitted to drinking three or four beers. At the jail, the man took a Breathalyzer test and allegedly blew a .251 and .236 -- almost three times the legal limit for blood alcohol. An officer wrote: "As I administered the breath test to [the man], he asked me if I could just shoot him and I said no. [He] stated that I might as well because he was a dead man. [He] stated that once his ex-wife found out, she was going to kill him. [He] stated that he would probably be dead before he gets off the steps of the jail. After the breath testing, [the man] went on to say that his life was over. [He] stated his ex-wife was a well-known person, that she had contacts, and that she was going to kill him."

Losing heart: A man said he left his briefcase and computer in a taxicab. He said his briefcase contains a ladies' diamond watch worth $12,000. It was Valentine's Day.

Heart-pumping escapade: On Valentine's Day, a bleeding man was running down Parkway Drive. "Concerned citizens believed at first that he was shot, but he had jumped out of a second-floor window because he thought he was going to be robbed," the officer wrote. The man told police he went to an apartment on Parkway Drive to buy marijuana. He was bleeding from his arms and body. Police took him to Grady Memorial Hospital.

Talk crazy to the police, part I: On Pryor Road, a middle-aged man walked into a police precinct and said he was going to kill the man who took his money, then he was going to start killing everybody. An officer detained the man and took him to the psychiatric ward at Grady Memorial Hospital. No charges filed. The man, age 52, hails from College Park.

Talk crazy to the police, part II: An officer was conducting a roadblock when he saw a thin man standing in the road on Glenn Street. The officer said: "Get back on the sidewalk." "Take off your suit and I got somethin' for ya," the man said. "I'll beat your ass when you take off that badge." The officer arrested the man. "I'm glad I'm gettin' arrested," the man said. "Imma keep gettin' locked up so I can go to Internal Affairs, get y'all in trouble, and sue y'all for harassment." The man, age 27, was charged with disorderly conduct and went to jail.

Day-planning for trouble? Around 9 a.m., an officer saw a 49-year-old man with a sign that read "Homeless need help." The man was showing the sign to drivers stopped at a traffic light on West Peachtree Street. The officer said, "What's your name?" "Pete Harris," the man replied, and gave the officer his date of birth: Feb. 11, 1959. The officer searched the man and found two police tickets issued to a person whose name is not Pete Harris. The man said the tickets weren't his. The officer "pointed out that he gave me the same date of birth" that was listed on the tickets. Then the man admitted the tickets did belong to him. He went to jail and his belongings were turned in to police. They include: 16 VHS tapes, a knife, a bottle of lotion, a flashlight and a day planner.

Nerd alert: A man said someone broke into his car at a Peachtree Street parking lot and took his laptop computer, MP3 recorder, and his books and CD for a music class. He said he called security guards and saw the suspect on a security camera, leaving the building. The suspect is described as a youth age 16-19, wearing glasses, a plaid sweater, a white tie and black pants.

Pot delivery to your room? An officer said he saw a man "with a very strong odor of marijuana" at a hotel on Peachtree Street. The man wore gold sweat pants, gold and black shoes, and a black T-shirt. The officer stopped the man and asked, "Do you have any marijuana on you?" The officer noted that the man indicated he did. The officer ordered him to give up the marijuana. "[He] then struck centermass in my chest and took off running," the officer wrote. After a brief chase, the officer said he caught him, searched him and found three ounces of suspected marijuana, 30 individually packaged baggies of suspected marijuana, a digital scale and $573. The man went to jail.

Finding Boo-Boo: A woman said she returned to her apartment on Boulevard and discovered the following items missing: a flat-screen TV, a DVD player, a boom box, and a green-and-purple bedcover and pillowcases. She suspects a gray-haired man named Boo-Boo, who is described as a squatter known for taking items and trying to sell them. The woman said on the previous night, Boo-Boo was at her apartment, trying to sell her something. Also, she said, Boo-Boo has tried to sell her drugs in the past. The reporting officer wrote, "She stated she did not want fingerprints taken." (The Blotter Diva must note: Finding Boo-Boo may be challenging, since you didn't let police dust for fingerprints.)

Items in the Blotter are taken from actual Atlanta police reports. The Blotter Diva compiles them and puts them into her own words.

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