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Bizarre crimes from Atlanta police reports

REPTILES IN THE MORTGAGE BUSINESS: A 32-year-old man said a Florida company named MoneyGators Inc. targeted his company for identity theft. He said MoneyGators created fraudulent mortgage contracts using his company's name and address on Spring Street. He said a similar incident happened last year. The man said he has documents and information on MoneyGators to give investigators.

D'OH! Two officers were watching a parking lot on Macon Drive. A man wearing a camouflage jacket walked up to a white sedan and got money from the female driver -- then, the man went into an abandoned apartment, returned about a minute later, and handed a small yellow bag to the driver, an officer noted. As the man walked away, police approached. The man darted into the abandoned apartment, climbed the rafters, and dropped into a neighboring apartment, police noted. "[The man] was found in the bathroom only wearing boxer shorts with a picture of Homer Simpson and a red shirt," an officer wrote. His other clothes were in a pile nearby-- and those clothes were turned in as evidence. The 21-year-old man was charged with disorderly conduct. He went to jail -- apparently wearing his Homer Simpson boxer shorts.

AFTER THE STORM: A woman who works at a sandwich shop on Peachtree Street called police 12 days after the tornado struck downtown Atlanta. She said the storm had damaged the outside signage to the restaurant. "She also reports that [the restaurant's] food has spoiled due to the lack of business, due to the street closings. Sales are down. She specifies that it has been hard to pay employees and bills."

YOUR TAX DOLLARS AT WORK: The Blotter Diva found an interesting nugget in an officer's report on city funds spent during his surveillance training with the Georgia Bureau of Investigations. He wrote "... $15 was spent on a meal while surveillance target was inside Hooters' restaurant."

The next night, another officer reported: "I spent $20 of city-issued funds at the Hooters' restaurant on Tara Boulevard in Clayton County while on a training exercise during the GBI undercover course."

HOOKER WITH A LAZY STREAK: An undercover officer said a woman flagged him down and hopped into his car. The woman offered to have sex with him for $20, he noted. "The female further advised that it would be $10 more if she had to 'get me hard' because she wanted me to 'stand up and salute,'" the officer noted. The woman, age 47, was arrested for soliciting sex.

REALLY WANT TO GO TO JAIL: At the Fulton County shelter on Jefferson Street, a man said he needed to turn himself in to police. An officer ran a computer check -- turns out the man wasn't wanted for any crime. The man's story kept changing, the officer noted. "[He] requested for me to transport him downtown to the courthouse or over to the Fulton County Jail to check for warrants. Then, [he] said, "Fuck you. What if I said I will kill you?" As the officer started to leave, the man reportedly blocked his patrol car and grabbed onto the moving patrol car. Apparently, that did it. He was arrested for disorderly conduct and went to jail. The man, age 22, hails from Newark, N.J.

REALLY WANT TO GO TO JAIL, PART II: Around 9 a.m. at Grady Memorial Hospital, a security guard said he gave a trespassing warning to a 49-year-old man. The guard said the man returned about two hours later and started smoking a cigarette in the emergency room. Even so, the security guard gave Smoking Man another chance to leave the hospital -- no dice. Police charged him with trespassing and took him to jail.

HANGING ON THE TELEPHONE: One Thursday, a 22-year-old woman said she got 18 harassing calls from a man calling from a private number. "He sometimes plays music from a few local radio stations after he makes contact with [the woman]," police wrote. The calls started at 7:45 a.m. and continued until 8:30 a.m.

The next day, another young woman reported 18 harassing phone calls. She said, "Sometimes the person says nothing, sometimes they scream and sometimes they make funny noises." The 24-year-old woman has no idea who is making these calls.

LONE WOLF PROTEST? Around 7:20 a.m., police dealt with a man standing on the highway, where I-20 and I-75/85 intersect. Apparently, the man was holding a sign that read "The Last Shall Be The First." Police arrested the 25-year-old man, who lives in East Atlanta.

BIZARRO-WORLD DATE? In Buckhead, an officer saw a blue 2007 Jaguar with California tags. A computer check revealed the Jaguar was allegedly stolen in Los Angeles. The officer arrested the driver, a Beverly Hills man, who admitted he had a gun in the glovebox. A 33-year-old woman was in the passenger seat. The officer ran a check on her -- she had no outstanding warrants, so the officer said she was free to go. A few minutes later, the woman tried to remove a black leather computer bag from the Jaguar, the officer noted. The leather bag contained $37,000 cash. The woman said she knows nothing about the car, cash or the gun -- and she was on a date with the man. The man said a friend he knows as "D" let him borrow the Jaguar -- and he believes D's real name was Darrell, but he isn't sure. He said the $37,000 cash is from a clothing line that he owns. They both went to jail.

Items in the Blotter are taken from actual Atlanta police reports. The Blotter Diva compiles them and puts them into her own words.

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