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Wedding crasher

SPEAK NOW OR FOREVER HOLD YOUR PEACE: At a church on Peachtree Center Avenue, a security guard checked the sanctuary where a wedding was taking place. He said a man was yelling, pointing at people and making everyone feel uncomfortable. The security guard said he asked the man to leave three times -- but the man refused. So the security guard called police. An officer arrested the man for disorderly conduct. The 38-year-old man admitted he'd been drinking.

NO PLACE LIKE HOMELESS: A homeless man was urinating on the side of a building on Marietta Street, an officer reported. (Apparently, the homeless man was pissing on Atlanta's headquarters for the Department of Housing and Urban Development.) The man said "Jehovah" made him urinate on the building, the officer noted. The 30-year-old man was on crutches and had a cast on his right foot. He went to jail for public urination.

SPRING FEVER? A completely naked man was lying in the intersection of Vine and Jett streets, an officer noted. As the officer got closer, the man jumped up and said, "Oh shit, the police," the officer wrote. "[He] began to run from me while he was completely naked." Eventually, the officer caught him and asked: Why are you naked? "[The man] stated that he was scared of some people and just stripped down." The 34-year-old man was arrested for public indecency.

CUTDOWN: A man in a wheelchair said he was playing cards in his apartment when two men walked in and threatened him. The man said suspect No. 1 said he was here to collect his brother's money and he wasn't leaving until he got it. Then Suspect. No. 1 called his brother (a guy known as "Cut").

According to the man, Cut said if he wasn't barred from the building he'd come up there and kill him his damn self. The man said he didn't have any money -- and the suspects slapped him, pushed him from his wheelchair onto the floor, and "stomped" him. Then, he said, the suspects threatened to return in three days to kill him if he didn't have Cut's money, and he better not try to block the door, because they will knock the motherfucker down.

The man said the whole thing started when Cut asked him to trade his Percocet pills for some crack. He said he wasn't interested in the trade – and Cut said he wanted those damn pills and was going to get them, no matter what. According to the man, Cut put several bags of crack on his table and said he would return in a few days for the Percocet. The man said his friend came by and smoked the crack, and now he's gonna have to pay for it.

The man said he didn't know Cut's real name, but he's a big-time drug dealer.

LOSING MY RELIGION: A 54-year-old man said a fellow church member threatened him. He said it all started with a dispute he had with his pastor. He said he left the church on Bolton Road and walked to the parking lot -- and that's where the pastor's brother came up behind him and said if he kept it up, he was going to get hurt. He said the pastor's brother did not touch him, but just threatened to hurt him. The man said he doesn't really feel safe about returning to his church.

ROBBING MR. METROSEXUAL: On Evans Drive, a 29-year-old man said his house was robbed. Items reported missing are: two TVs, a pair of Prada shoes (worth $369), a pair of Gucci tennis shoes ($1,400) and a full-length mink coat ($5,000). The man said this is the fifth time his house was robbed, but it's the first time it was robbed at night. But, he said, the same window is used every time. The officer wrote: "[The man] believes he knows who is behind this incident, due to the fact it was the only time it was done at night, but he doesn't want to incriminate them."

JUST TUCKERED OUT: A man was loitering by a parking lot near Centennial Olympic Park, an officer reported. The officer said he circled the block and returned shortly -- and the man was still there. The officer asked, "Do you need help? Do you have a car in this parking lot? What are you doing?" "He advised me that he does not work, and he did not have a car in the lot, and he was just chilling," the officer wrote. The 32-year-old man gave his name to the officer, who ran a computer check. Turns out the man is wanted in North Carolina for burglary and probation violation. Later, the man offered up his alias. The officer checked the man's alias -- and found an arrest record in Atlanta. The officer asked, "Why did you give me your real name?" The man replied, "I am tired mentally and physically." He went to jail.

DUMB MOVE OF THE WEEK: A 46-year-old man said he was at a bus stop at the corner of Campbellton Road and Honeysuckle Lane, when a female acquaintance drove up and said, "Hey, I got a new spot." He said they went to an apartment -- and into the bedroom, where the woman requested $40, but he refused to give her money. He said at some point, he went to the bathroom, and left his laptop computer and his jacket in the bedroom. He said when he returned, the woman was gone, along with his computer and $150 from his jacket. So he called police. While investigating, an officer ran a computer check on the man's name. Turns out he's wanted for probation violation in Lake City. So he went to jail.

Items in the Blotter are taken from actual Atlanta police reports. The Blotter Diva compiles them and puts them into her own words. Want more? Listen to the Blotter Diva on 92.9's (Dave FM) "The Zakk Tyler Morning Show" every Tuesday between 6:30-7 a.m.

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