The Blotter June 11 2008

IT’S RAINING DOG POOP: On Memorial Drive, a 31-year-old woman said her neighbor’s dogs have been relieving themselves on her patio and property for the past year. The neighbor and two small dogs live in the apartment above her. “She explained that the dogs are placed outside on the balcony and their waste falls down onto her patio area and outdoor furniture (a table and chair),” the officer wrote. The woman has complained to the management of her apartment complex several times — so this time, she called the Atlanta Police Department. A police report was filed.

PEOPLE STEAL WEIRD STUFF: At a Kmart on Cleveland Avenue, a security guard said a woman took four pairs of pink panties and then walked to the sporting goods section and stuffed them into her shorts. She also took a deck of cards and put it into her back pocket, the guard said. She allegedly tried to leave the store without paying for the items. The woman, age 29, was arrested for shoplifting.

PILLOW FIGHT: On Roy Street, a 59-year-old man said someone came onto his property and damaged his pillows. He said small pieces of pillows were scattered all over his property. He has no idea who would destroy his pillows.

SHARE YOUR BAD DAY: Around 11:30 a.m., an officer saw a man cursing aloud and spitting at people’s feet as they passed him on a sidewalk. The officer wrote: “He then started to walk down the middle of Peachtree Street, yelling, ‘I don’t feel good, dammit.’” The 28-year-old man was charged with disorderly conduct and taken to Grady Memorial Hospital for a mental evaluation.

PARTY HOUSE: Around 1:15 a.m., an officer noticed two people outside a house that has a “no trespassing” sign on Proctor Street. One man was holding what looked like a beer can and loud music was blaring from inside, the officer noted. As the officer walked up, a 46-year-old man stood in the doorway and he smelled strongly of booze, the officer noted. The man said he used the property to store his lawn mower and other stuff. The officer noted, “When I spoke to [the same man] in the past, he stated that he watched the property for the owner, but he refused to give me the owner’s name.” The man was arrested. En route to jail, the man threatened to call “internal affairs” because “he believed I was treating him wrong,” the officer wrote. “When I asked him to explain how I was treating him wrong, he stated, ‘I don’t know. You tell me.’” As they arrived at the jail, the man said he needed to urinate. The officer wrote: “As we were walking to the door, [the man] urinated on himself.”

KEEPING ABREAST OF THE SITUATION: Around 9 p.m., a woman was standing on a sidewalk on Ponce de Leon Avenue “with her shirt raised above her head and her breasts fully exposed to traffic,” an officer wrote. “When asked to put her shirt on, she yelled several times, ‘Fuck you, get the fuck on!’” The 25-year-old woman was arrested for indecent exposure.

A GOOD PLACE TO SLEEP: Around 8:15 a.m., a man discovered a stranger blocking the doorway to his apartment on Memorial Drive. Police arrived and found a 47-year-old man asleep at the front door. The man was “in a drunken stupor,” police noted. Police said they woke him up and ordered him to leave several times, but he started to fall asleep again. He had to be helped to the patrol car so he wouldn’t fall over and hurt himself, police noted. He was arrested for public drunkenness.

SIGN THE ECONOMY SUCKS, No. 721: An undercover officer said a woman got into his car, near the intersection of Boulevard and Federal Terrace. “During the conversation, she told me she was from Decatur and she was trying to get a ride back. I told her I had a hotel room ...” the officer wrote. The woman allegedly offered oral sex in exchange for $20. “She then went on to say that she needed an extra $5 so she could get her phone turned back on.” She was arrested for soliciting sex.

PUSHY SALES TECHNIQUE: A 47-year-old man said he was walking from a store on Conley Road, when he passed an apparent cookout. He said someone shouted to him about buying some drugs. He said he told them not to approach him, and he doesn’t do drugs. He said one man yelled, “Who the fuck do you think you are talking to?” The 47-year-old man said he was still walking away, when a man ran up behind him and hit his head with a stick, knocking him to the ground. He said when he turned around, another man stabbed his arm with a fork. He said they both jumped on him — and when he got up, his wallet was gone. He went to Grady Memorial Hospital, to be treated for severe puncture wounds from the fork.

Items in the Blotter are taken from actual Atlanta police reports. The Blotter Diva compiles them and puts them into her own words. Want more? Listen to the Blotter Diva on 92.9’s (Dave FM) “The Zakk Tyler Morning Show” every Tuesday between 6:30-7 a.m.