The Blotter 

Trouble in God's park

CONCERNED TAXPAYER: Around 1 a.m., two officers got a call about a suspicious person in Harper Park. They found a man lying on a bench, next to his wheelchair. He appeared to be on drugs, an officer noted. The officer asked, "Why are you in the park?" The man yelled at police, "stating that we were evil and his god is going to make us pay in three days," an officer wrote. Apparently, he kept yelling throughout the entire arrest process, "stating that this is God's park, not the city's, and that he believes his tax dollars are being poorly spent." The 50-year-old man was charged with using a public park at night.

THE CHILD NEVER GROWS OLDER: On Byron Drive, a mother said her 30-year-old son argued with her because he couldn't find a job and he was depressed. Mom said her son grabbed a butcher knife and waved it in the air -- so she called police. An officer found the son on Burns Drive -- he was still clutching the butcher knife. During arrest, the son yelled, "My mother was trying to poison me; I missed my daddy; I want to be in a movie with Arnold the Terminator." The son also yelled, "Kill me please." Police arrested him for disorderly conduct. At the police precinct, the son reportedly kept shouting that he is a movie star and he loves his daddy. According to the police report, the 30-year-old son lives with his mother.

WITH FRIENDS LIKE THESE ... At Underground Atlanta, a 32-year-old man said his friend "Suicide" called him over to where he was standing. He said Suicide punched him, while another man nicknamed "Kill Quick" held him down. He said Suicide and Kill Quick stole six DVD movies from him and ran away.

BROUGHT TO HEEL? Around 1 a.m., an officer saw a man loitering at Third and Spring streets. The man walked to the edge of a sidewalk and threw "a medium-sized white Taco Bell bag onto the roadway," the officer noted. The officer approached the man -- and he tried to run away. "He was dressed as a woman and had difficulty attempting to flee in the shoes he was wearing," the officer wrote. Police quickly caught him. A computer check revealed that the 19-year-old man was wanted in DeKalb County for failing to show up in court. He went to jail.

ASLEEP AT THE WHEEL: On Delowe Street, a woman said she found a stranger passed out in her car around 3 a.m. So she called police. A 41-year-old man was "in the driver's seat, slumped over the center console into the passenger seat," an officer noted. The officer woke up the man, who was incoherent. The woman said she's never seen the man before. He was charged with trespassing.

ALABAMA SLAMMER: An officer said he saw a white car change lanes without signaling on I-20. "I remembered the lookout on a vehicle that was involved in a smash-and-grab in Cobb County three days ago," the officer wrote. Police stopped the car and spoke with two Alabama men inside. A police dog sniffed out a small dime bag of suspected marijuana in the car. Also, police found $39,359 in cash. Both men were charged with drug possession. (The 22-year-old man hails from Huntsville and the 23-year-old man is from Dothan.)

TOUGH ADJUSTMENT: Around 7:30 a.m., an officer saw a man with his pants down, standing between two trees near Centennial Olympic Park. His man package was sticking out from his shirt, the officer wrote. As the officer approached, the 52-year-old man pulled up his pants and walked away. The officer arrested him for indecency. "I was not next to the tree pissing," the man said. "I was just adjusting myself with my pants down."

DRUNK & THRIFTY: A cab driver said he picked up a man in Little Five Points and drove him to Cheshire Bridge Road -- but the man refused to pay the $17 fare, so he called police. An officer said he gave the 38-year-old man several chances to pay up -- but he refused. The man was having trouble standing up, and he kept blocking the sidewalk, where other people were trying to walk by, the officer wrote. The man said he had two or three beers earlier that evening. He was arrested for disorderly conduct. "While in custody, [the man] stated he thought we were arresting him because he was speeding and driving drunk." Also, police found $285 in cash on him.

SMALL DOG TREND MUST END: A 43-year-old woman brought her small dog to a Screen on the Green movie showing. A police officer asked her to remove the dog. According to the police report, the woman called the officer "stupid ass motherfucker" and other profanities -- and she moved "in a manner as if to physically fight the officer." She was charged with disorderly conduct and a pet violation.

Items in the Blotter are taken from actual Atlanta police reports. The Blotter Diva compiles them and puts them into her own words. Want more? Listen to the Blotter Diva on 92.9's (Dave FM) "The Zakk Tyler Morning Show" every Tuesday between 6:30-7 a.m.

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