The Blotter July 16 2008

ALL IN THE FAMILY: Around 7 a.m., a caller said a big guy in a Falcons jersey was yelling, knocking on his front door and pacing in the front yard of his home on May Avenue. The caller said the big guy is his grandmother’s cousin and he’s 6 feet 6 inches tall and weighs 300 pounds. When a police officer arrived, the big guy was holding a brick. The officer asked him to put down the brick so they could talk about things. The man refused and said the officer was there to kill him. “[He] appeared to be wet and I could smell what I believed to be urine coming from [his] person,” the officer wrote. More police arrived. Apparently, the man tried to challenge officers to a one-on-one fight. Also, he went off on a tangent about “Ghostbusters” and “skinheads,” an officer wrote. A SWAT team showed up and used a Taser gun to subdue the man. A family member says the 54-year-old man is a crack-cocaine addict with mental health problems.

CAR GETS SLIMED: Police found a stolen car at the intersection of Beech Valley Road and Meadowdale Avenue. An officer wrote, “The interior was completely covered in a slimy, dirty fluid — possibly urine and saliva.” The tan 1995 Honda Accord had been reported stolen 18 days beforehand in Sandy Springs.

INTERESTING COME-ON? A 22-year-old woman said she was at an Atlanta Braves game at Turner Field when she suddenly felt her hair and shirt get wet. She said she turned around, and a man was smiling and holding two beers. She said his hands were wet with beer and he quickly looked away. A witness corroborated her story. Police arrested the suspect, a 23-year-old student at University of Georgia. He is described as a bearded man wearing khaki shorts, a red hat and gym shoes. He smelled of alcoholic beverages, police noted. He was charged with disorderly conduct under the influence.

X MARKS THE SPOT: A 52-year-old Decatur man walked into a police precinct and said his former girlfriend pepper-sprayed him on the face and back. Now, he said, there are bumps on his back. He said his ex-girlfriend is a Fulton County Deputy Sheriff. He didn’t want to press charges, but he wanted a police report just in case he needs to see a doctor. He said his ex-girlfriend called and said if he was still burning from the pepper spray, he should wash the area with Coca-Cola. The man refused medical care, saying he was on his way to work.

NO THUNDER DOWN UNDER: An undercover officer said a woman flagged him down on Centra Villa Drive. According to the officer, the woman asked: “What are you looking for?” The officer replied: “What are you giving?” The woman reportedly said, “My pussy is out of order, but I can give you some firehead.” Apparently, firehead is a name for oral sex. Her alleged price: $15. The woman, age 39, was arrested for soliciting a sex act.

BREAKUP SHAKE-UP: A 59-year-old woman said she broke up with her boyfriend in late May. She said the day her ex-boyfriend went back to jail, she relocated to get away from him and said she doesn’t want to be bothered with him anymore. When her ex-boyfriend got out of jail in June, he searched for her. According to the police report, he asked around for her and passed out handwritten fliers offering a reward for the location of his “lost love.” Apparently, this worked. The woman said her ex-boyfriend showed up at her new home and she kept him talking until police arrived. The ex-boyfriend, age 45, was arrested for trespassing.

THIRSTY THIEF ERROR? A 30-year-old man said the power was out when he returned to his home on Centra Villa Drive. He said his laptop computer and DVD player were missing from the living room so he called 911. An officer arrived and noticed that an outdoor power switch had been flipped off, which disabled the man’s alarm. Also missing from the man’s nightstand: a pistol, a Movado watch and a wedding band. Police found a bottle of cranberry juice on the kitchen counter. “The suspect appeared to have drank from the bottle and spilled juice,” the officer wrote. Police dusted the juice bottle and got a partial fingerprint.

I FOUGHT THE LAW: A woman said someone vandalized her property on Gaskill Street in Cabbagetown. According to the police report, there were symbols and words spray-painted on her fence and sidewalk, including “Bonex? LSD, Fuck the Police, Be5t, Outlaws” and “Me5r or Mesr.” The woman said she works for the Fulton County Marshall’s office and she believes the spray-painters know she works in law enforcement.

SCAMMING THE UNEMPLOYED? A 23-year-old woman said she responded to an ad for a personal assistant on Craigslist.com. She said a reply came from a man who said he worked with a local entertainment company. At his request, she said she met him in a parking lot near Northside Drive and Howell Mill Road at 8:30 p.m. She said he asked for her full name, date of birth, a copy of her driver’s license and $60 cash to pay for a background check. She said the suspect assured her that she had the job, and after the background check was done, he would return the $60 to her. She said the man called the next morning and said her background check looked good and he will be in touch. She said she never heard from him again — and when she called the entertainment company, she learned that the suspect doesn’t work there.

Items in the Blotter are taken from actual Atlanta police reports. The Blotter Diva compiles them and puts them into her own words.