The Blotter: The Grinch buddy

A 32-year-old man who keeps a lot of electronics in his apartment, asked two male friends to keep an eye on his place while he went out of town on a business trip (the male friends live in a nearby apartment in the same complex, and their girlfriends also live in same complex). When the 32-year-old returned home, he said he confronted one male friend about taking his flat-screen TV, and the same friend admitted to taking his toaster and coffee pot from his apartment. Cops also searched the friends’ girlfriends’ apartment — where they found the 32-year-old man’s mattress, coffee table, three speakers, a TV stand — and his Christmas tree.

Do you hear what I hear?

On Donald Lee Hollowell Parkway, a 41-year-old woman staggered out of a diner while screaming, “Lick my booty hole!” A cop happened to overhear her “yelling vulgar, sexual remarks.” Next, the woman allegedly took a swig of booze from a plastic bottle — then threw it on the ground, and continued her tawdry tirade. The cop charged the woman with littering and disorderly conduct, and he took her to jail.

Silent night

A 65-year-old man said he performed in a Christmas musical at Greenbriar Mall, in front of a coat store (he plays the trumpet). After the musical, the man put all his belongings in a shopping cart, including his prized Stradivarius trumpet. The man said he pushed all his belongings to his car and loaded his car up, believing he’d put in everything. He drove away — and about 5 minutes later, the man realized he left behind his trumpet in the shopping cart. He rushed back to Greenbriar Mall and asked security guards if anyone had turned in his beloved trumpet. At the time, no musical instruments had been returned to the mall. The man filed a police report on his missing trumpet (even a used Stradivarius trumpet can fetch about $3,000 online).

Jingle bell glock

In Edgewood neighborhood, a 36-year-old woman said she was wrapping Christmas presents around 9 p.m. in her apartment. “She was at a small card table that was next to her Christmas Tree, when a single bullet came down from the apartment above her,” an officer noted. “The slug/round could not be found — and was probably somewhere in her Christmas Tree or Christmas presents underneath the tree. The hole that was in the ceiling looked as if the round was at least a 9mm or larger.”

The cop continued, “Myself and (another officer) knocked on the back door of the unit 3A, which is where the bullet came from. I knocked numerous times and got no answer each time. Each of the windows in unit 3A [has] small, white digital surveillance cameras, which are the only ones I know of in the apartment complex.”

The 36-year-old woman said the last tenant from the unit was evicted, so no one should be living in the unit now.

Christmas road trip

An officer saw a black Mercedes-Benz allegedly speeding on Springside Drive. He stopped the car and spoke with the driver, a man who identified himself as “King Beavers.” Turns out, that’s not even close to his real name. The officer ran a computer check on “King Beavers,” discovering the false name, and also checked the car, which had no valid insurance or license plate. Turns out the man who claims to be “King Beavers” is a 29-year-old Jonesboro man whose driving privileges were suspended in Georgia for drug possession more than a decade ago — and again more recently for failing to show up for a court date. The cop arrested him, and suddenly “King Beavers” announced himself to be a mental patient who hadn’t been taking his medication. So the cop took him to Grady. The man is still facing multiple charges: false name, speeding, driving without a license plate.

Christmas road trip, Part II

Cops responded to a car accident involving a white Nissan Rogue on Northside Drive. At first the driver, a 23-year-old woman, said she fell asleep at the wheel and hit a tree. Moments later, she changed her story, saying she’d spotted a cat in the road, and she wanted to avoid the cat, so she swerved and hit the tree. Both air bags had deployed; her car had severe damage. The woman said that earlier she had been drinking at a bar in East Atlanta — four drinks — but no food since around noon. The cop asked for her driver’s license. The woman said she does not have a driver’s license because her family (from Texas) does not believe in them. The cop noted, “I also observed her pinky finger appeared to be broken or out of place.” Medics said woman was fine, except for her pinky finger. She went to jail, charged with DUI and reckless driving.

Babes in Toyland (alive!)

In North Atlanta, a woman said she returned home after spending the night at her adult daughter’s house — and she instantly knew someone/something had tampered with her home. Her clues: The woman said a doll and a stuffed bear that normally sit together on her dresser, near the bedroom window — well, now the doll and the stuffed bear were both leaning slightly over. She looked around — everything else was secure, and nothing was missing. She called police. An officer checked it out — the window frame had small, bent marks, but the screen looked fine and the screen was still in place. “It appeared that someone could have attempted to remove the screen or something.” Or maybe the doll and the bear tried to escape. Extra officers kept an eye on the woman’s home that night.

All I want for Christmas is ass on grass

Outside a CVS pharmacy, a cop reported a 33-year-old man was “lying in the grass with his pants off.” The man “is a regular intoxicated person on my beat of the Greenbriar Mall area,” the cop noted. “[He] was so drunk he could not stand up.” He refused to go to a hospital, so the cop arrested him for public intoxication. Cops searched the man and found $19 cash, a red cell phone, and a handful of pens, pencils, spoons, and forks — which is a lot of stuff to carry around sans pants. The city of Atlanta jail turned away the man because he was too drunk, so the cop took him to Grady to sleep it off.

Items in the Blotter are taken from actual Atlanta police reports. The Blotter Diva compiles them and puts them into her own words.

??Editor’s note: This story has been updated to remove offensive wording.