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Topher Payne's Top Five 

Topher Payne is a local actor and playwright whose comedy Relations Unknown will be staged by Process Theatre beginning Oct. 21 at Whole World's Third Space Theatre.

1) The Butcher and the Thief -- An awesome play about Burke and Hare, Irish serial killers terrorizing 19th-century Scotland, told by two actors using puppets, masks, court transcripts and no small amount of gore. Saw it at the Edinburgh Fringe Festival.

2) Bear Me Safely Over -- Sheri Joseph: A badass debut novel that introduces two Georgia families about to be connected by marriage. It manages to include wild horses, fundamentalism and the dangers of Piedmont Park after dark.

3) Showgirls: The VIP Edition DVD -- The greatest post-modern comedy of all time finally got the respect it deserves. With drinking games, lap dance tutorials and commentary tracks that will make you laugh till you pee a little, this is the item I would save if my apartment caught on fire.

4) Dead Letters -- The Rasmus: I met this Dutch flight attendant whose iPod was filled with tracks by this whiny band from Finland that makes me think of the early '90s -- in a good way, if that's possible.

5) The Alanis Morissette Song Lyric Generator -- I am an unapologetic Alanis fan but will concede my girl has a tendency to complain about, well, everything. Take lyrical revenge on those who have done you wrong at www.brunching.com/alanislyrics.html.

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