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Trivial pursuits 

Seeking readers and girls without bras

Before Scene & Herd commences this week, I have a couple of announcements to make.

First, if you are sponsoring or know of an event that you'd like me to cover, e-mail me at andisheh@creativeloafing.com with the details. I'm starting to see the same people at event after event. Either there are only 30 people in Atlanta, or I need to expand my social horizons.

Secondly, through the end of the year, I'm offering you a financial incentive to read my column. If I walk by and you're reading Scene & Herd, I'll give you 25 cents. If my mother is with me, I'll make it a whole dollar. Top that, Peach Buzz!

Dear Donna R: I saw your band the Donnas at Earthlink Live last week, and I just wanna say how great the show was. You really rocked and sounded tight and looked fantastic without bras. You're like the Ramones and KISS, except girls. They didn't wear bras either.

You're an incredible guitarist, and I'm amazed at how many cool riffs you can play. That opening riff from "40 Boys in 40 Nights" is awesome. And that line in the song about how there are no cute boys in Decatur, are you all talking about Decatur, Ga.? You kinda gotta know where to look. Try that park with the lake by Emory. I also think it's neat how you've got different sexual-looking facial expressions for every part of a song. Like when you get to the end of a line in the chorus and you pivot your guitar away from you, and your eyes roll back like you're having an orgasm. That's way cool. You even chew gum cool.

Don't get the wrong idea, I'm not some loser guy or lame groupie or anything. I've got a girlfriend, and we're in love and committed and stuff. I just love your music and your whole message about how it's OK for girls to party, too. Next time you're in town, you should give me a call and we can hang out. If you'd be more comfortable, you can even bring the other girls.

Genus Edition: At a friend's bidding, I was on a barroom trivia team last week at Central City Tavern in Buckhead. I walked in a bit late and before I was even seated was asked by a teammate which two apostles were brothers. For the record, my answer, Ray and Dave, was incorrect. Despite that setback, our team performed well. We finished in second place overall, winning $25 in bar cash. In addition, we won a pitcher of beer from Trivia Master Matthew Kilgo and bragging rights for having the best team name, www.clownpenis.fart.

Vanquish the giant fishpeople: I was at Turner Field on Friday to see the Atlanta Braves clinch the NL East championship. Some friends were kind enough to invite me to a large office party in the Turner Beach hospitality area two hours before the game. So by the time the game actually started, I was tipsy and ready to have fun. As many of you know, one side effect of inebriation is an enhanced belief in your own cleverness. So I was amusing the hell out of myself creating new cheers for my seating section to yell in support of the Braves as they took on the Florida Marlins. Unfortunately, "The home team will slake their thirst on the blood of the visiting team's children!" didn't catch on. Thankfully the Braves scored 10 runs in the first inning. That put the game out of reach within 20 minutes and allowed me to end my embarrassment early by leaving.

Gwinnett is Great And Scary:

The Netherworld Haunted House in Norcross held a media party on Friday night so that people like me would attend and write about it so that people like you would go see it. The house is built in a converted industrial space and consists of a darkened scary maze where objects, sounds and people work diligently and rather effectively at trying to scare you. There's an extra-scary portion of the house called Planet X in which you wear 3-D glasses that make the paint and decorations jump out at you. It's quite disorienting, particularly if you've just arrived from an open-bar party at Turner Field.

Shirley you jest: Dr. Maya Angelou and Cicely Tyson appeared at a fundraiser for Atlanta mayoral candidate Shirley Franklin on Saturday morning. For a $100 contribution, the audience got to eavesdrop on a faux-casual chat between Angelou and Tyson.

The event began with a taped introduction by Dr. Johnetta B.Cole and a reassertion of Franklin's promise to "leave no child behind," a position meant to distinguish her from all of the other mayoral candidates who propose leaving some or all of the children behind. I attended because I thought it'd be cool to see two cast members of Roots on stage at the same time and also to see if I could gain any insight into Dr. Angelou's hilariously affected speaking voice. I learned nothing about it except that it's worse in person. And I didn't find out why the caged bird sings, either.

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