The Blotter: Twisted mister

A 46-year-old man walked into a big-box superstore with an unusual mission: to steal a Twister game, two packs of ground beef, and one package of turkey. He allegedly swiped the items and walked out the door without paying. He didn’t get very far, though. Security guards tackled him. The man went to jail for allegedly shoplifting $35.62 worth of meat and the board game.

Washed up

In Southwest Atlanta, a woman told police her boyfriend was “heavily drunk” and causing a disturbance at her home. She said he ransacked the entire house and flipped over the washing machine and dryer. Also, he called her “bitches and hoes.” Police arrived with a paddywagon. A cop attempted to take the 55-year-old drunk boyfriend into custody, but faced some unusual resistance. The boyfriend pulled away and then “wrapped his legs around the ledge of the wagon to prevent us from putting him into the wagon,” the cop noted. Several cops had to pry the drunk boyfriend’s legs from the wagon so they could arrest him. He went to jail for disorderly conduct.

Good intentions crushed

In East Atlanta, a cop mangled part of his patrol car. Here’s how the accident went down: The cop was driving through a parking lot that opens onto Glenwood Avenue. “Due to the traffic light being red and a line of around six cars waiting ... I remained in the parking lot,” the cop noted. When the light turned green, five cars moved on. A white car remained motionless, stopped near a jewelry store. The cop was perplexed. “The driver then made eye contact with me and waved for me to go onto Glenwood Avenue,” the cop recalled. The driver appeared to be talking with someone inside the jewelry store. The cop maneuvered around the white car and headed toward the street.

“When I was over halfway onto Glenwood Avenue, I heard a loud sound from the white vehicle’s engine, that I recognized as the engine revving up, and the vehicle [moved] forward toward me quickly,” the cop recalled. “I realized if I did not move my vehicle, the white vehicle would collide with my driver’s door. ... In attempt to not make contact with the white vehicle I cut my steering wheel quickly to the right.”

The cop successfully dodged the white car and then slammed his patrol car into a fire hydrant. The white car’s driver did not stop to apologize. He just steered around the patrol car and drove away.

Karma outrage

On the Westside, a cop reported a gray car zooming through a red traffic light on West Marietta Street. The cop turned on his emergency sirens and lights, and pursued the gray car. “Multiple times, I changed the tone of sirens as well as the air horn to alert the driver to pull over,” the cop recalled. “Finally, at the intersection of West Marietta Street and Marietta Boulevard, the vehicle came to a stop. Although, as I exited my patrol vehicle, the vehicle drove away again.”

The cop chased the gray car until it stopped in a parking lot. “I quickly exited my vehicle, ordering the driver with a loud command voice to ‘SHOW ME YOUR HANDS!’” the cop noted. “As I approached the vehicle, the driver advised why did I have to yell at him?”

The cop informed the driver that he ran a red traffic light. According to the police report, the driver, a 30-year-old man, “felt the need to advise that he does the make-up/cosmetics” for two notable Atlantans.

The cop was not swayed by the driver’s job. The cop did observe the driver’s outfit, noting that he wore “a tight-fitting black mesh shirt, tight almost-revealing white shorts, and a pair of canvas-type flat shoes.”

The driver said he was at a Midtown bar with friends hours ago, and he drank two or three bottles of Bud Light.

During a sobriety test, the cop asked the driver to keep his head straight and let his eyes follow the officer’s finger. According to the cop, the driver “started questioning my purpose and proficiency conducting a field sobriety test.”

The cop reported his observations to another officer, who had arrived to help. According to the cop, the driver “began verbally advising this was being done because he was homosexual ... I advised [the driver] that I have friends who are homosexual as well, and that wasn’t the probable cause or case of the stop. However, [the driver] continued to make the matter homosexual discrimination and was taken into custody.”

The driver refused a breath test. Turns out, his car’s registration had expired in November 2014.

Cops arrested the man and put him in a patrol car. “While in route to Atlanta Detention Center, [the driver] felt the need to utter how karma will come back on me, causing terrible things to happen, such as getting hit by a bus or truck on duty.”

Items in the Blotter are taken from actual Atlanta police reports. The Blotter Diva compiles them and puts them into her own words.