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Video Killed The Radio Star ... 

No Fever; instead Cabana, BED and MEGA Monday at East Side Lounge

The story for this week is what did NOT pop off. Despite several e-mails yet again touting a grand ol' time, Fever did not open ... yet again. The Cheshire Bridge Road club's cycle of hype is a stationary bike, not a motocross. You know how they say "Any press is good press?" Well, I personally believe that "Any bullshit is bad bullshit." I've lost patience and interest in that venue.

Open spaces are the hot new opening, anyway. Cabana -- formerly Aqua, formerly Eden -- opened at Eleven50. And let me tell you, I haven't attended a kegger this authentic since high school. The club exudes a Backyard-by-Target™, dad's-deck feel that makes me think of the quarterback who was known for two things: throwing long passes and wild parties. Except they won't let you skinny dip and date rape at Cabana. Or play some Skynyrd. Good music shall be Cabana's redeeming feature.

Also premiering is the rooftop deck of downtown's BED, more on that later, and June 9 will be the opening of Verve Lounge on Peachtree, a three-story building whose deck will provide a prime vantage for looking down the shirts of ladies cruising Peachtree in convertibles during the summer.

It was also the week of television season finales, so in honor of life on the small screen, I dropped in to MEGA Monday at East Side Lounge. Kim. of Criminal Records fame was there VJing vintage video jamz and fielding requests, including my all-time absurd favorite: Luke's "It's Your Birthday." Indeed, Uncle Luke on a jet ski is always a gift.

Kim. fields the third Monday of the month, while other weeks showcase videos from hair metal to Brit-pop -- it's like YouTube.com, only live. And after seeing Kim.'s crowd do a sort of visual karaoke -- aping whatever vintage dance was projected -- it makes me wonder what happens those other weeks. Do guys wear full-length denim jackets and drip candle wax on girls? Does the bar reek of Aqua Net? Here they go again on their own ... to rock the cradle of love.

Me, I think Kim. should organize her girls as a gang. She could call them the Viscouz Bitchz because they're all about the flow, and they could go around the city performing random acts of aerobics. It would be like a Funk Flash Mob. It will cause widespread confusion and joy as courtyards of seemingly random people do the zombie dance from "Thriller," or slip into some genie pants to drop the Hammer.

I worry that Kim. doesn't understand the undiluted power she wields. I have seen people "Lean Wit It, Rock Wit It." I have seen people thrusting in a "Boogie Wonderland." So play Public Enemy's "Fight the Power" and a riot may start. Play Michael Jackson and I'll have an excuse as to why I publicly grab my crotch and smash car windshields! Eiiiii-hiiiii!

RedEye celebrates going out and going off. Send comments to redeye@creativeloafing.com, but hand-scrawled hate mail is preferred.

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