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What Doesn't Te-Kill-Ya ... 

Celebrating the South and south of the border

Some weeks I feel like going out, others I merely feel like dining out. This past week would be the latter. And with both Cinco de Mayo and the Kentucky Derby on the same weekend, I celebrated the South and south of the border simultaneously.

The celebration started Tues., May 2, after a Don Eduardo Tequila dinner at Cabbagetown's fine Southwestern eatery, Agave. Here I learned Don Eduardo's añejo tequila gains maple coloring plus oak, pepper and clove accents from aging in used Jack Daniel's barrels. I immediately vowed to drink more tequila -- salty and sweet like the tears of angels in exquisite torture -- in honor of bourbon.

Admittedly, on Sat., May 6, aka Derby Day, I veered to Park 75 in the Four Seasons to have the attentive bartenders make me perhaps the city's most authentic, hand-muddled Mint Julep. Come Sunday, however, I was firmly on the dusty tequila trail accompanied by a desert rose -- we'll call her the Agave Cowgirl because she's got tequila-fueled stories kinkier than an authentico donkey show.

So we're at Rosa Mexicano in Atlantic Station, where the restaurant offers tequila-tasting trios, feeling like VIPs as the extremely personable bartenders topped off my Paloma and while discussing the Cowgirl's Patrón, El Jimador and Reserva de la Familia añejo selections. The service might have gotten even better later since -- while I was absent from the bar -- one bartender told the Cowgirl when he got off and where she could find him. And she loves knowing when guys get off.

As for myself, tequila makes me silly. So I composed a sort of Dr. Seuss short story based on my companion's tail tales. Here goes:

The Agave Cowgirl has ridden till the wall mirror fell down. The Agave Cowgirl has grunted on dirty ground. The Agave Cowgirl has humped a hot tub water jet. Because the Agave Cowgirl prefers things wet. The Agave Cowgirl has done DVDA, and it's not surround sound we're talking today. Snorting cheap Mexican coke, she stripped a girl and went all the way, but doesn't feel that makes her gay.

In our own ways, the Agave Cowgirl and I celebrated the salty treats of going down ... South. Hurray for tequila and the dirty, drrrty South. And hurray for Rare Form celebrating five years Fri., May 5, at East Side Lounge. And hurray for Rathbun's second anniversary. Next week: I've got the Fever for new openings.

RedEye celebrates going out and going off. Send comments to redeye@creativeloafing.com, but hand-scrawled hate mail is preferred.

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