Dear Karma Cleanser:
I was dumped mercilessly some time ago and given no explanation. Since there was no real closure, I carried around a lot of anger toward this person.
One night in a drunken stupor, I stood watch while a friend of mine let the air out of said person's tire. Please note, I did not actually do the deed myself; I simply suggested it and pointed out the car. I even insisted my friend stop before the tire was dangerously low. This occurrence finally allowed me to release my pent-up hostility and move on. And trust me, it was much less violent than all the other acts I imagined carrying out.
Since that night, I've had a couple of occurrences of very low air in my tires. I have to wonder if I'm paying the karmic price for my misdeed (or cleansing, as it was) or if the other person found out and is returning the favor. (Another note: I have not seen the other person at all since that evening, so for all I know, they're not even around to get me back.) Is my paranoia justified? Do I really deserve karmic retribution?
Maybe you haven't seen the other person around because they unknowingly drove with one flat tire and ended up crashing their car in a fatal accident? How would you feel then? Seriously, though, we're guessing you're just being paranoid. Getting dumped sucks, but enacting a petty revenge like yours just blows.
Dear Karma Cleanser:
About a month ago, I was in my community's laundry facility and had to piss like a racehorse. Unfortunately, there are no restrooms available, but there is a big trash can. So yes, I pissed in the trash can. If it makes it any better, 95 percent of the urine went into an empty bleach bottle. After I finished, I felt so bad I went to each dryer and cleaned the lint trays. I thought that me cleaning the trays would balance out any bad karma. A friend told me that I did not have to worry about that because I'm Christian. But I understand no matter what religion you practice, there are certain universal laws at work. Should I be concerned? Overall, I'm a good person and if it makes any difference, I was a little tipsy.
Pissy in Atlanta
The poor slob who had to empty the trash can didn't give two shakes if you'd cleaned out the lint trays, and the laws of karma apply no matter who you make the checks out to. At least you didn't pee on the floor.
Been bad? firstname.lastname@example.org.