Lust List 2011: William, 22

Step up to the bar at Marietta’s Strand Theater and see if you can handle the dazzling smile and adorable sweetness of William. Disarmingly nice, refreshingly open and astoundingly handsome, William’s pining for the quirky girl of his dreams. As his nominator points out, he shouldn’t have much trouble: “He is tall, lean, muscular, a dancer, straight, and many would describe him as a perfect piece of chocolate ass.” We’d take him over 3,000 douchebags any day.

Relationship status: Single

What’s your standard drink?

Either a Jameson and ginger ale or a Scotch on the rocks.

What band were you obsessed with when you were 14?

Ben Folds Five — love Ben Folds.

What’s your guiltiest pleasure?

I watch “Adventure Time” on Cartoon Network. Absolutely hilarious cartoon and I can’t help but reference it all the time, but no one else watches it but me.

What’s your least favorite household chore?

I’d be lying if I wouldn’t say cleaning my room or cleaning my apartment. I hate cleaning. Ugh!

On which reality TV show should you be cast?

It’s not a reality show, but I’d like to be one of the “Mythbusters.” That’s as reality as I can get.

What’s the last thing that made you cry?

I got a little teary-eyed during the opening of The King’s Speech with Colin Firth. He couldn’t start his speech and it was very sad to watch Helena Bonham Carter be like, “That’s my husband and he can’t speak because he’s so nervous.” It kind of got to me.

What’s the last good book you read?

I re-read The Great Gatsby for like the 13th time a couple of months ago. It’s my favorite book.

What do you wish someone would hurry up and invent?

Satellite television for a car. Not safe at all.

What’s the lamest pick-up line anyone’s used on you?

I was watching soccer at Meehan’s downtown and a lady came up to me and was like, “So I see you like Liverpool. Can I sleep with you?” That was it. It was 5 o’clock in the afternoon and she was three glasses of wine in and I just kind of said, “No.”

Where do you take out-of-town visitors?

Six Feet Under. Favorite seafood in the city.

What’s the first album you bought with your own money?

I think was Justin Timberlake’s first album. We would dance to it in high school, so the songs kind of got ingrained in my brain.

What’s the best way for a customer to hit on you?

Not to be trite and a douchebag, but leave me a nice tip and be very hospitable and then, as you’re leaving, write your phone number on the bottom of the credit card receipt. It’s happened before. A lady wrote her number on her receipt and she was like, “I don’t need this — but you do,” and she slid it to me and I was like, “Alright, I’ll take that.”

Who would play you in the movie of your life?

The only person I can think of right now is Will Smith, but he’s far too old to play me. Young Will Smith. Like, “Fresh Prince” Will Smith.

If you were a groupie, who would be the object of your obsession?

Either Katy Perry or Zooey Deschanel, which is weird because they kinda look similar, so they might as well be the same person.

What’s the one thing you most hope to accomplish in 2011?

I’d like to travel. I’d like to get out of Georgia for a little while and clear my head. Around the country, abroad, wherever I can get out and just veg out for a little while.

What’s your least favorite thing about Atlanta?

MARTA. I can’t stand it. Terrible, terrible, terrible.

Is there a drawback to being attractive?

When people tell you you’re attractive, but then when girls still go home with some guy who is less attractive, and is a douchebag. Are people are just lying to you to make you feel better or is this actually true?

What’s the weirdest thing in your house?

I have every note ever written to me from high school in a big bag behind my hamper and I’ve never done anything with it. That could be a little creepy.

Name one thing you’ve stolen.

When we were kids, I desperately wanted to play my friend’s Super Smash Bros., so when he left the room, I took his copy and ran home. I gave it back.

Who’s the most important person in your life?

That’d be a sure toss-up between my mother and my best friend. My mom is the reason I am who I am, for better or for worse, and if I didn’t have my best friend I’d probably pull my hair out.

page
What’s your sexy-time soundtrack?

Feist did wonders for me in college, so probably her entire discography is sexy-time music, I guess.

Have you ever been dumped? If so, what was the reason?

The girl who liked Feist broke up with me via text message after I’d come back from winter vacation. No tangible reason; she just thought it was time for us to not see each other and it still hurts. She’s still friends with me on Facebook.

What’s your pettiest relationship deal-breaker?

You can’t be easily offended by anything. If you think a joke I make is uncouth, that may be a quick deal-breaker. You gotta be a little more loose, a little more relaxed.

What would you order for your last meal?

Nice surf ‘n turf. Lobster and steak. Some type of potato in there, too.

Name a well-regarded band you don’t like.

I used to work at the Disney Store and a lot of the ladies there loved Nickelback and I just don’t get it. That’s a deal-breaker for me: You listen to Nickelback, I’m like, “Nah.”

With whom would you like to play Truth or Dare?

Christina Hendricks from “Mad Men,” just to see if there was any way that the dare could be something like “dunk me in.”

What would be the title of your autobiography?

What the Fuck Just Happened?

What did your parents want you to do with your life?

Anything, as long as I was successful and happy. Whatever makes me happy. I have good parents.

What’s your life’s ambition/grandest dream?

I’d be lying if I said I don’t picture myself standing on stage at some great awards show accepting some award for some art I’ve done. Tony, Emmy, Oscar, Grammy — all four, maybe.

What celebrity would you like to be stuck in an elevator with?

All my friends would laugh if they read this but Elisabeth Moss from “Mad Men.” I’ve had a crush on her since she was the president’s daughter on “The West Wing” and she gets better with age.

What’s the most romantic place in Atlanta?

I’ll go OTP for this one. The top of Kennesaw Mountain his an absolutely gorgeous view, and a great place for lovers to sit and hold hands and have a blanket and stare at the sky.

What’s your wackiest piece of personal trivia?

When Clay Aiken was doing his Christmas tour in 2005, Pebblebrook got selected to be the choir that sang behind him, but I make sure to not mention it. I don’t wanna talk about it.

At what bar/restaurant would you like to have an open tab?

My favorite bar is Johnnie MacCracken’s because I’m always there, anyway.

What personal attribute are you a sucker for?

A funny girl gets me every time. Tina Fey, Julia Louis-Dreyfus, just someone absurd and funny and self-deprecating. I’m very self-conscious, so just a dorky, nerdy, funny girl.

Where would you go on your sweepstakes vacation?

The United Kingdom: a week in Northern Ireland, week in Wales, and, hell, a week in regular Ireland just ‘cause it’s there.

Describe your relationship to exercise.

I like running, bike-riding and by-myself exercises. I’m not a gym rat at all. Just the thought of being in a gym and everybody’s like, “Yeah, I’m stronger than you! Let’s impress each other!” That’s not for me.

Not counting rent or bills, where does most of your disposable income go?

Food and alcohol.

If you had to spend $1 million in one afternoon, what would you do?

I’d go to Brooks Brothers in Lenox and just buy nine suits so I could wear a suit every day. I don’t know why I want to wear a suit every day, but, um, clothes, and then save $500 to go get drinks and food.

Have you ever stolen a friend’s girlfriend?

No. I’ve wanted to. If I didn’t like the guy so much, it would’ve been “game on” in a heartbeat. I’m too nice to do it.

What’s your character flaw you’d most like to fix?

I get attached rather quickly. When I’m with somebody, in the morning I’m just like, “I wanna be with you forever.” Put up some walls, William!

What silly thing are you most vain about?

I’m picky about the way my hair looks. I barely have any, but it gets to a certain length and I have to cut it. I spend hours staring at my hair like, “Should I cut it? Should I just be bald? Should I grow it out and have dreads like Lil Wayne? Should I try to get Bruno Mars hair?”

Why do you think someone nominated you for the Lust List?

A friend of mine was like, “You’re an attractive guy, you’re very sweet, you’re very nice, and I feel like there are 3,000 douchebags in Atlanta who shouldn’t be picked for this and you should. Here’s the nomination.”