Four reasons CL's 2005 Year in Culture issue is formatted into lists:
1) Everybody loves lists! We all make lists -- grocery lists, to-do lists, wish lists, fantasy date lists. Lists make us feel organized, even when we're not.
2) If Santa can do it, why can't we? After all, the guiding principle of our lives is found in the answer to that perennial question: WWSD?
3) They're easy to read! We know you're really busy. You've got Christmas gifts to return, family squabbles to resolve and New Year's Eve plans to make. I mean, who really wants to read some long treatise on the year that was 2005?
4) They're easy to write! OK, so we're really busy, too. Half the staff is on vacation and there's only a few of us left to crank this sucker out. We have a life, too, you know! God!
Top 7 things we'll miss in 2006
1) The Atlanta College of Art
2) Echo Lounge
4) Deep, house music night at MJQ
5) Heaping Bowl & Brew
6) "Arrested Development"
7) Coriolis Dance Project
Top 5 most ironic T-shirts in East Atlanta
1) Viva La Reagan Revolucion
2) Got Milf?
3) Say Yes To Michigan
4) F The President
5) Pedro Lacks Political Experience
Top 7 tastiest fish at the Georgia Aquarium
1) Beluga whales
2) Whale sharks
3) Southern sea otters
4) Hammerhead sharks
5) Green turtles
6) Leafy sea dragons
7) Goliath grouper
Top 7 hot spots for the tragically chic
3) Two Urban Licks
4) Eclipse di Sol
5) Suzy Wong's Lounge
6) Lobby in the Twelve Hotel
DESIGNER: PLEASE MAKE THIS A PIE CHART:
Atlanta's racial makeup
White, 33 percent
Black, 61 percent
Asian, 2 percent
Hispanic or Latino, 4.5 percent
Other, 2 percent
Top 10 alternative slogans for Atlanta
1) Sure beats Valdosta
2) For real estate developers, by real estate developers
3) The city too smart to hate too obviously
4) Suburban looks, city taxes
5) Home of the $5 lap dance
6) The Houston of the Southeast
7) Ron Mexico City
8) Welcome to Moe's!
9) Atlanta: Just like everywhere else
10) Atlanta: Our HOV lanes save 3 minutes
MC Chris' playlist
1) "Thanks for the Misery," Reggie and the Full Effect
2) "Check On It," Destiny's Child
3) "Obtener un Sí," Shakira
4) "A Very Pretty Song for a Very Special Young Lady Part 2," the Ergs
5) "9 to 5," Lady Sovereign (U.K.-only single)
Top 3 attacks on Atlanta's arts culture
1) The Echo Lounge in East Atlanta closed its doors Jan. 8 because of liquor license problems.
2) The Savannah College of Art and Design announced in July that it bought the Atlanta College of Art, a 100-year-old institution, which will close in 2006.
3) More than 300 tenants, including many artists and musicians, were evicted from the Chandler Smith Warehouse lofts in the West End after a fire took three lives.
Top 3 future musicals based on local events
1) Cranesitter! The Musical
The inspirational ballad "Climb Every Crane" kicks off this tribute to the lovable ne'er-do-well who scaled a Buckhead construction crane and became a traffic-stopping sensation. The show concludes with the song "Is That a Taser in Your Pocket (Or Are You Just Happy to See Me)?"
2) Runaway! The Musical
"The Runaway Bride" harks back to how a Duluth wedding became a national soap opera. In Act One, bereft groom John Mason croons Del Shannon's "Runaway" (rights pending). Jennifer Wilbanks' false claim that a Hispanic male kidnapped her becomes a saucy salsa number, and the curtain falls on "Community Service," Wilbanks' spirited dance with a lawnmower.
3) Ashley! The Musical
Unlikely Angel, Ashley Smith's book about being held hostage by Brian Nichols, gets musicalized. When she reads The Purpose-Driven Life to her captor, she breaks into a tambourine-shaking Gospel number, while the sharing of her crystal meth stash inspires the 1960s-style psychedelic rock homage "Clean Up This Meth."
Top 4 movies that prove the South is cool again
2) Forty Shades of Blue
3) Hustle & Flow
4) The Education of Shelby Knox
Atlanta Rollergirl The Notorious R.I.P.'s playlist/p>
1) "Kryptonite (I'm On It)," Big Boi/Purple Ribbon All-Stars
2) "Georgia," Ludacris
3) "Stay Fly," Three 6 Mafia
4) "Soul Survivor," Young Jeezy
5) "I'll Be Around," Cee-Lo
Top 16 people we'll miss in 2006
1) Ben Apfelbaum, Spruill Gallery director
2) Harold Kelling of the Hampton Grease Band
3) Tim Gunther of the Breeze Kings
4) Sonoramic Commando, Bluejays, and Caroline and the Ramblers band member John McLean, who moved to Florida
5) Playwright August Wilson
6) Richard Pryor
7) Hunter S. Thompson
8) Bob Denver
9) Peter Jennings
10) Rosa Parks
11) Luther Vandross
12) Anne Bancroft
13) Saul Bellow
14) Ossie Davis
15) Johnny Carson
16) James Doohan
Top 5 stores we want
1. Trader Joe's
3. Dean & Deluca
5. Agent Provocateur
Top 5 plays
1) Take Me Out at Theatre in the Square
2) Bug at Actor's Express
3) Boston Marriage at 7 Stages
4) The Syringa Tree at Horizon Theatre
5) The Caryl Churchill Festival at 7 Stages
Top 5 new restaurants where Bree Van De Kamp would eat
1) Quinones at Bacchanalia
2) Table 1280
Top 3 touring shows better than Menopause The Musical
1) The Mystery of Chung Ling Soo
2) The One-Man Star Wars Trilogy
3) Like a Dog on Linoleum
Top 4 best movies you probably never saw
2) The War Within
4) The Ballad of Jack and Rose
Top 10 "first annual" events
1) Vibe MusicFest
2) Atlanta Hip-Hop Film Festival
3) Georgia Arts & Entertainment Legacy Award
4) Q100 Bert Show's HoliGAY Party
5) Paste Rock 'n' Reel Festival
6) The Other Sound Festival
7) Radio One/Hot 107.9's Dirty Awards
8) Atlanta Rollergirls season
9) Suzi Bass Awards
10) Charlie Brown Cabaret's "Drag Idol" competition
Curt Holman's top 10 movies
1) Good Night, and Good Luck
2) Hustle & Flow
5) Brokeback Mountain
6) Enron: The Smartest Guys in the Room
8) A History of Violence
10) The 40 Year-Old Virgin
Felicia Feaster's top 10 movies
1) Mysterious Skin
2) Brokeback Mountain
5) A History of Violence
6) Enron: The Smartest Guys in the Room
7) The Ballad of Jack and Rose
9) Happily Ever After
10) The 40 Year-Old Virgin
Top 7 concerts
1) Gang of Four at EarthLink Live
2) Kanye West and Fantasia at Philips Arena
3) Mastodon at the Masquerade
4) The Black Crowes at the Tabernacle
5) Rahsaan Patterson at the Fox Theatre
6) Algebra and Eric Roberson at EarthLink Live
7) Ashlee Simpson at the Arena at Gwinnett Center (just kidding)
Top 6 memorable concert moments
1) Depeche Mode at the Arena at Gwinnett Center: As David Gahan and Martin Gore wrapped up what was supposed to be an emotional ballad, Gahan bonked Gore on the head with his mic as they bowed. D'oh.
2) The Selmanaires CD release party at Lenny's: The audience already knew all the words to the songs on the Selmanaires' brand-spanking new CD.
3) Mötley Crüe at Philips Arena: Lead singer Vince Neil twisted his leg and canceled the show half-way through the band's performance. Remember, kids: Scrumping porn stars leads to bad joints.
4) T.I. at Vibe MusicFest: The ladies in the front row were so crunk they tore his T-shirt off. Seriously.
5) The Close homecoming show at the Earl: Organist Theresa was surprised with a birthday cake by a strange-looking crew, including a CL contributor in his boxers and a dude in a rabbit suit (both equally scary).
6) Brian Jonestown Massacre at the Earl: Calling this show a "concert" is a stretch since in the couple hours the band tried to play, only a song or two squeaked through frontman Anton Newcombe's tantrums.
Top 6 worst movie taglines
1) "Beneath heaven lies hell, beneath hell lies ... the Cave." (The Cave)
2) "Sometimes the last person on earth you want to be with is the one person you can't be without." (Pride & Prejudice)
3) "Life is more than the sum of its parts." (Transamerica)
4) "Cousins. Outlaws. Thrillbillies." (The Dukes of Hazzard)
5) "Everyone wants a piece of his action." (In the Mix)
6) "See it! Live it! Spread it!" (The Gospel)
Top 5 ways to tell whether you're clowning, krumping or having a seizure
1) If someone puts a dollar in your pants to thank you for your badunkadunk-shaking stripper dance, you're clowning. Krumpers don't twerk. But if someone puts a wallet in your mouth, you are having a seizure.
2) If you wear a size 44 shoe, you're clowning. If you wear size 12 or under, you're krumping. All shoe sizes, however, can experience seizures.
3) If you blacken your eye with your own flailing arm, you are krumping or having a seizure. Clowns exercise more limb control.
4) If you're covered in sweat and violently thrashing against a floor, you could be any of the above. If you're in a splits or doggy-style position, you're probably still clowning or krumping. If you're more free-form than that, it's probably a seizure.
5) If you tear off your shirt, you're krumping or possibly the Incredible Hulk.
Top 6 lowest TV moments
1) The death of "Chappelle's Show"
2) On "The Real Gilligan's Island," when Atlanta-based Dr. Tiy-e Muhammad was exposed as a fake psychologist.
3) Danny Bondauce's suicide attempt on "Breaking Bonaduce."
4) Plus-size religious fanatic Marguerite's meltdown on "Trading Spouses."
5) Second season of "Desperate Housewives"
6) The look on Mike Myers' face at the Katrina telethon when Kanye West said, "George Bush does not care about black people."
Top 17 local CD releases
1) Atlanta Symphony Orchestra and Chorus, Del Tredici: Paul Revere's Ride; Theofanidis: The Here and Now; Bernstein: Lamentation from "Jeremiah" Symphony (Telarc)
2) Big Boi/the Purple Ribbon All-Stars, Got Purp? Vols. 1-2 (Purple Ribbon/Virgin)
3) DangerDoom, The Mouse and the Mask (Epitaph)
4) Delta Moon, Howlin' (Delta Moon)
5) Deerhunter, Deerhunter (Stickfigure Distribution)
6) Luigi, Found on the Forest Floor (Such and Such)
7) Of Montreal, The Sunlandic Twins (Polyvinyl)
8) Psyche Origami, The Standard (Arc the Finger)
9) Amy Ray, Prom (Daemon)
10) The Selmanaires, Here Come the Selmanaires (International Hits)
11) Spy, Apocalypse High (Deathray)
12) The Swear, Every Trick's a Good One (self-released)
13) Tenement Halls, Knitting Needles & Bicycle Bells (Merge)
14) The Whigs, Give 'Em All a Big Fat Lip (self-released)
15) Lizz Wright, Dreaming Wide Awake (Verve)
16) Ying Yang Twins, United State of Atlanta (TVT)
17) Young Jeezy, Let's Get It: Thug Motivation 101 (Def Jam)
Top 12 national CD releases
1) Bloc Party, Silent Alarm (Vice Records)
2) Clap Your Hands Say Yeah, Clap Your Hands Say Yeah (self-released)
3) Common, Be (Geffen)
4) Bettye LaVette, I've Got My Own Hell to Raise (Anti)
5) LCD Soundsystem, LCD Soundsystem (Capitol)
6) M83, Before the Dawn Heals Us (Mute)
7) M.I.A., Arular (Interscope)
8) The New Pornographers, Twin Cinema (Matador)
9) Pernice Brothers, Discover a Lovelier You (Ashmont)
10) Spoon, Gimme Fiction (Merge)
11) Bruce Springsteen, Devils & Dust (Sony)
12) Sufjan Stevens, Illinois (Asthmatic Kitty)
Top 10 art shows
1) What Business Are You In?, Atlanta Contemporary Art Center
2) Hormuz Minina video installation, Garage Projects
3) Photography, Museum of Contemporary Art of Georgia at SunTrust Plaza
4) Design Is Not Art: Functional Objects from Donald Judd to Rachel Whiteread, Museum of Design Atlanta
5) History Images: Sze Tsung Leong, Kiang Gallery
6) New Work by Amalia Amaki, Lillian Blades, Chakaia Booker, Kevin Cole, Daniel Hoover, Laurie Jackson, D.E. Johnson, Angelbert Metoyer, Jacqueline Mitchell, Wendy Phillips, Freddie Styles, Sandler Hudson Gallery
7) Shin-il Kim, Saltworks Gallery
8) Maximum Flavor, Atlanta College of Art Gallery
9) Primary Color: Philip Carpenter, Marcia Wood Gallery
10) Laura Noel: Fiction, Jackson Fine Art
Hip-hop illustrator Dubelyoo's playlist
1) "Still Tippin'," Mike Jones
2) "Go!" Common
3) "Stay Fly," Three 6 Mafia
4) "40 Bars of Terror," Jadakiss
5) "Kryptonite (I'm On It)," Big Boi/Purple Ribbon All-Stars
6) Anything from Paul Anka's new album, Rock Swings
Top 6 dance performances
1) Falling, Coriolis Dance Project
2) The Little Seamstress, Room to Move Dance
3) The Mapping Project, Beacon Dance
4) "Hand to Mouth," Zoetic Dance Ensemble
5) Crawl/Climb, Full Radius Dance
6) Exodus and Its Blues, Spelman Dance Theatre
Top 8 least danceable dance tunes
1) "Gold Digger" by Kanye West
2) "Banquet" by Bloc Party
3) "Galang" by M.I.A.
4) Gimme Fiction by Spoon (yeah, the whole album)
5) "Romantic Rights" by Death from Above 1979
6) "Apply Some Pressure" by Maximo Park
7) "Daft Punk Is Playing at My House" by LCD Soundsystem
8) "Feel Good Inc." by Gorillaz
Top 11 dishes to devour now that low-carb diets are dead
1) Tres leches cake at Tierra
2) Dim sum at Happy Valley
3) Pistachio croissant at Alon's
4) Pizzoccheri coi rapini at Pasta da Pulcinella
5) Pommes frites at Woodfire Grill
6) Mussels and grits at Grace 1720
7) Seafood risotto at Sotto Sotto
8) Hash brown casserole at Carver's Country Kitchen
9) Warm chocolate cheesecake at Aria
10) Tlayuda con cecina at Taqueria La Oaxaquena
11) Banana-peanut butter-cream pie at Rathbun's
Top 5 drug dealer anthems
1) "Shovlin' Snow" by Birdman
2) "Pyrex Pot" by Gucci Mane
3) "I Hustle" by P$C
4) "I Am Crack" by Juelz Santana
5) "No Snitchin'" by Chamillionaire
Top 6 movies that question the American way
1) Enron: The Smartest Guys in the Room
2) Wal-Mart: The High Cost of Low Price
3) North Country
5) Good Night, and Good Luck
6) The Ballad of Jack and Rose
Top 5 hip-hop beefs
1) Lil Scrappy vs. Trillville
The drama climaxed this summer as Scrappy and Trillville's Don P. exchanged accusations of gayness across vividly illustrated mix tapes circulated first in Atlanta and then around the country via the Internet. Everyone seems to have escaped with their proudly asserted straight-maleness intact.
2) D4L vs. Dem Franchize Boyz
Who invented the wiggly, sideways crunk dance that has taken over the clubs? Both D4L (behind the infectious hit "Laffy Taffy") and Dem Franchize Boyz (who do the same moves in a video for Jermaine Dupri) claim to be the original hotsteppers. Let's hope for a You Got Served-style dance-off.
3) Tori Alamaze vs. the Pussycat Dolls
Once a backup singer for OutKast, Alamaze emerged with a simmering underground hit called "Don't Cha" in 2004 produced by Cee-Lo. That same song struck pop gold for the Pussycat Dolls, an offshoot of the L.A. burlesque act. Still with Cee-Lo, Alamaze is preparing her long-awaited debut album for spring release.
4) Ying Yang Twins vs. Ashton Kutcher
Cementing their place in pop culture, the Twins got "Punk'd" on Mr. Demi Moore's show. Kutcher played the voice of a hidden gate operator preventing them from leaving a parking garage and getting to business. We still await the Twins' revenge.
5) Young Jeezy vs. the world
Jeezy's clashes with up-and-comer Gucci Mane (who he had worked with on the street hit "So Icy") resulted in the death of a third man, with Mane suspected of the murder (and maintaining self-defense). Jeezy was also criticized for not doing his part to promote his participation in Diddy's Boyz N Da Hood; he was replaced with New Orleans rap star Lil Wayne in October. Meanwhile, the mother of Jeezy Jr. successfully won a gargantuan increase in her paltry child support. But as the Notorious B.I.G. used to say, "Mo' money, mo' problems."
Top 8 buildings that keep Atlanta booming
1) Spire (860 Peachtree St.)
2) Renzo Piano's High Museum addition (1280 Peachtree St.)
3) Piebar (2160 Monroe Drive)
4) The Globe restaurant (75 Fifth St.)
5) Georgia Aquarium (225 Baker St.)
6) Atlantic Station (17th Street)
7) Symphony Tower (1180 Peachtree St.)
8) Glenwood Park (Glenwood Avenue at the Glenwood-Moreland Connector)
Atlanta Rollergirl Dolly Dagger's playlist
1) "St. Petersburg," Supergrass
2) "Daft Punk Is Playing at My House," LCD Soundsystem
3) "Black Mask," the (International) Noise Conspiracy
4) "High on the Crime," Turbonegro
5) "Banquet," Bloc Party
Top 6 cinematic reasons gay is the new black
1) Brokeback Mountain
3) The Dying Gaul
4) Mysterious Skin
6) Breakfast on Pluto
Top 5 worst perpetuations of black stereotypes
1) Hustle & Flow
2) Memoirs of a Geisha
3) Porgy and Bess
5) Confessions of a Video Vixen
Top 9 galleries for affordable art
1) YoYo Boutique & Gallery
2) Young Blood Gallery
3) Alcove Gallery
4) GalerieMC (photography gallery)
5) Atlanta Photography Group Gallery
6) Eyedrum Art & Music Gallery
7) Vinson Gallery
8) Seen Gallery
9) Spruill Gallery
Top 5 local authors what wrote good this year
1) Jack Pendarvis (The Mysterious Secret of the Valuable Treasure)
2) Paul Hemphill (Lovesick Blues: The Life of Hank Williams)
3) Jimmy Carter (Our Endangered Values: America's Moral Crisis)
4) Hollis Gillespie (Confessions of a Recovering Slut, and Other Love Stories)
5) Michael Mejia (Forgetfulness)
Top 7 cheap eats
1) Chef Liu, a dumpling joint on Buford Highway
2) Geraldine's Fish and Grits, 971 N. Hairston Road, Suite 1-B, Stone Mountain
3) Cantina La Casita, 560 Gresham Ave.
4) U.S. Cafe Express, 2350 Spring Road, Smyrna
5) Louise's, a meat-and-three, 428 Ponce de Leon Ave.
6) Madina, serving East African food, 5291 Memorial Drive, Stone Mountain
7) Yanmi Yanmi, serving Japanese and Chinese noodle dishes, 5385-B New Peachtree Road, Chinatown Square food court, Chamblee
Top 4 new additions to the dance community
1) Hila Kerekesh, dancer
2) Ivan Pulinkala, choreographer
3) Rialto Center Dance Series collaboration with Several Dancers Core and the Woodruff Arts Center
4) Chastain Gallery dance studio
Top 5 art materials you won't find at Sam Flax
1) Nail polish (Scott Ingram, Solomon Projects)
2) Paint-by-numbers, sermons, wallpaper, coloring books, hair, cigarettes, twist-ties, light bulbs, etc. (Marcus Kenney, Marcia Wood Gallery)
3) Singing pillows (Cindy Loehr, Atlanta Contemporary Art Center)
4) Wedding cake (Heidi Geldhauser, Atlanta College of Art Gallery 100)
5) Earthworms (Andrew Ross, Museum of Contemporary Art of Georgia)
Top 2 local tell-alls by women who found God
1) Unlikely Angel: The Untold Story of the Atlanta Hostage Hero by Stacy Mattingly and Ashley Smith
2) My Life So Far by Jane Fonda
Top 13 favorite new words and phrases
1) Saddamites: Iraqi insurgents
2) Monetize: process by which assets are turned into profit
3) Vodcast: video podcast
4) ICE number: your call-in-case-of-emergency number
5) Puggle: pug and beagle crossbreed
6) Lifehack: a "good enough" solution to an everyday problem
7) Retrosexual: opposite of metrosexual
8) MoSoSo: "mobile social software"; technology using GPS devices to locate compatible people who are currently nearby
9) Jump the couch: Inspired by Tom Cruise's "Oprah" moment; to act wild in a way that calls your sanity into question
10) Pharming: technique for redirecting Web users to malignant sites
11) Abrupt nonlinear climate shift: theory that climate change due to global warming could be sudden and catastrophic rather than gradual (see The Day After Tomorrow)
12) Heckuva: newly redefined double-speak used to show support for an obviously incompetent government official
13) Stare decisis: principle of legal theory holding that prior judicial decisions should generally not be overturned by the same court; oft cited by John Roberts in confirmation hearings
Top 5 reasons we didn't pARTicipate! in Brand Atlanta
1) Frightened by gratuitous exclamation points and random capitalization
2) "Lost" was on that night.
3) Didn't it rain that day?
4) We were washing our hair.
5) We were doing meth with Ashley.
Top 8 obscure music micro-genres
1) Baile funk: Brazilian crunk
2) Snap music/post-crunk: Wait ... what the hell is crunk?
3) Backpack thug: Keeping it gangsta, even if you're a broke college student.
4) Nerdcore: Hip-hop for those who love the dictionary
5) German micro-house: Or, another reason why smart white people who like house music are better than everyone else
6) Psych-folk/freak folk/new weird America: Great, one more reason why this country is going to HELL!
7) Grime: Imagine rappers rhyming in a thick British accent you can't understand and you'll get the idea.
8) Rock 'n' roll: It's dead, remember?
Top 13 best movie monsters
1) The giant bugs in King Kong
2) The vegetarian bunny in Wallace & Gromit: The Curse of the Were-Rabbit
3) Noseless Voldemort (Ralph Fiennes) in Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire
4) Snub-nosed Marv (Mickey Rourke) in Sin City
5) Hitler (Bruno Ganz) in Downfall
6) Burt Reynolds terrorizing a CBS assistant producer at the premiere of The Longest Yard
7) Martian tripods run amok in Steven Spielberg's The War of the Worlds
8) Directorial style run amok in Tony Scott's Domino
9) Robotic, twitchy General Grievous in Star Wars: Episode III -- Revenge of the Sith
10) Robotic, twitchy Jennifer Aniston in Rumor Has It ...
11) Tilda Swinton's witch queen in The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe
12) Tilda Swinton's Gabriel angel in Constantine
13) Tilda Swinton's ticked-off biker chick in Broken Flowers
Top 8 things we're looking forward to in 2006
1) Development of the Beltline
2) City Hall East redevelopment
3) Peachtree Street trolley
4) Secured funding for new Symphony Hall
5) Georgia governor's race
6) A new club to replace the Echo Lounge
7) Trader Joe's
8) Citywide Wi-Fi
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I am disappoint.
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