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Friday, May 23, 2008

Spring Break Forever: Where my dogs @?

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By Negashi Armada of Supreeme (Winner's of CL's 2007 Best Hip-Hop Group That's Not OutKast)

DISCLAIMER: When you read my spiel, don't go calling Fox News because all of a sudden CL is a radical news organization furthering the sick twisted liberal media's mind control over the people. Because they're not doing that at all. The views expressed here do not reflect CL, Crib Notes, or anyone but me and possibly Bizzy Bone. I am out of control and way to young and dumb to be allowed a public forum for my not so humble opinions. I hope you will still take them seriously, consider them and research some of my FACTS for yourself.

Hey wassup, my name is Negashi Armada and I am a member of the extremely un-famous yet critically acclaimed rap group Supreeme (Supreeme Supreeme). But that's not what this is about. This is about attempting to expose possibly groundbreaking connections between race, class, gender, climate and ... music.

I'll make hierarchical music lists that may upset people, I'll talk shit about musicians I know personally (but only from a creatively critical standpoint), and I'll try to not get beat up by some gangster rapper that I might run into someday. Hopefully I'll inform you on a bunch of music you don't know anything about but will love. I think I'm really smart, but I'm really immature and I'm Ree De La Vega's brother so feel free to hate.

Welcome to SPRING BREAK FOREVER.

WHERE MY DOGS @?

So let's get into something racy. The other day I was chilling with some friends of mine, all of whom were white (don't worry race will become significant). They ordered Amores Perros on Netflix because it was cool, hip and foreign and all the things the artsy kids love. Little did they know the movie was about dog fighting and featured a lot of dead and bloody dogs.

Instantly all but one of them began freaking out and going on and on about how they're "sooooo not down with dog violence."

Now, all of these Sierra Club bouncers are all really big fans of films like Pulp Fiction, No Country For Old Men, American Gangster (except for when the dog got shot) and Blade Runner. The aforementioned films feature man's true best friend (and worst enemy) getting shot in the head with weird cattle air guns, dudes getting their eyes gouged out, people getting "medieval on that ass," and a man burned alive and then shot to death.

One of the Amores Perros viewers pointed out the paradox and thinly veiled hypocrisy of her fellow onlookers complacency and comfortability with violence against humans vis a vis their disgust at the mutilation of canines. So I began thinking, damn, what is it about dogs and white people? What is it about dogs and black people?

You'll have to excuse my immediate jump to a racial divide, but it's just that black people (including me) weren't really that freaked out by Michael Vick, even though I condemn what he did vehemently. I just think instead of jail they should've made him fight two pitbulls in hand-to-paw combat live at the Georgia Dome. For most white people I knew, Michael Vick might as well have been — gasp — Reverend Wright or that sick dude from Austria with the dungeon!

When did this divide occur? Perhaps it's because Islam reached Africa before Christianity and Muhammad wasn't "down with dog violence." But he definitely wasn't down with doggy webcams or Pets are People, Too either. Also, there was (and still is) a greater wolf population in Europe than Africa as well as the particular offshoot that we know today as domestic dogs. And during slavery, runaway slaves were chased by vicious dogs and often chewed up pretty bad before being lynched and/or mutilated.

Perhaps because disproportionate amounts of black people are the victims of violent crime in this country (well at least according to the Bureau of Justice website statistics), black people are just a tad bit desensitized to the plight of lesser creatures. Who knows?

The relationship between black people and dogs gets really bizarre. We address our comrades as dogs and "dog hoes out." Does this speak of some animalistic properties we and society attribute to ourselves? I don't know. Sometimes, I wonder if Caucasian western Europeans and their descendants have a culturally-based need for a creature that is their inferior in terms of intelligence, superior in physicality, yet fully submitted to their will. With the abolishment of slavery and the proliferation of real live science, people are slowly beginning to abandon the idea of the dumb Negro athletic-champ beast and dogs actually are faster, stronger and dumber than all of us.

But then again dogs can't really be a replacement for slaves because to beat them with whips and what not would be deplorable and inhumane.

OK, so I was pretty much done with this, but then I talked to my homeboy Chandler — a white person and expert on being white — about the dog thing. He brought to my attention the inherent innocence of an animal. To do something cruel to something so innocent is simply detestable in his opinion. I respect that and agree but what about chickens! Children! Cows! Pigs!

DOG THINGS I'M NOT DOWN WITH

Doggie webcams

Groomer Has It

Unleashed pitbulls and rottweilers roaming around College Park apartment complexes in the early ’90's

Racist dogs at Atlanta festivals

Dog fighting

Dog abuse

Dog breath

Dog overpopulation (or overdogulation)

Racist Dog the Bounty Hunter

Racist Dog the Bounty Hunter's son snitching on his own dad for being racist

DOG THINGS I'M DOWN WITH

Ginger & Tia (my best canine friends and my homeboy Sam's dogs)

Air Bud (all of them)

"Atomic Dog" by P funk

Snoop Dogg

"Me and My Dogs" by Mavado

Wolves look tight and girls with eyes like wolves are tight

How confused they look sometimes (dogs not girls)

Doggystyle

"Old King" by Neil Young

"Anytown" by Reagan Youth

"Ask Dem Hoes" by Lil Wayne

"Derek" by Animal Collective

... I'm on the fence about dogging girls out because I have little sisters.

P.S. DMX! What an ingrate. The man built his career and image around dogs, claimed them as his best friends at one point even, and the man gets caught having a nonstop cocaine puppy carcass party. Man, I really liked his first album and he even made me soften up on dogs a little.

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