Monday, January 26, 2009

Roll Call: The Mayor of Ponce

Posted By on Mon, Jan 26, 2009 at 7:51 PM

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For today's Roll Call we call out The Mayor of Ponce.

Who are you?

A scoundrel.

Describe yourself in three words.

David Lee Roth.

Who — dead or alive — would you most like to meet?

I'd like to go clubbin' with Bukowski and Hemingway. Hunter Thompson would be our D.D.

Who would you most like to slap in the face?

I'd love to slap that toupee off Bernie Marcus' head. What the shit. If I had hundreds of millions of dollars, I wouldn't wear pants, much less something that looks like a bathmat from Target on top of my head. I'd be all, "I'm a millionaire. Make me put on some pants."

Also, while we're on it, I'd slap the shit out of Johnny Ramone. Knock that wig right off his smug ass. (He's the jerk republican, right? I get 'em all confused. Wait, is he even still alive?)

What song do you wish you had written?

"take a look... it's in a book... it's READING RAINBOW!"

Ok now, just this side of the room. "... I CAN GOOO ANYWHEREEE!"

Elvis Costello or Elvis Presley?

How is it 3-time World Figure Skating Champion Elvis Stojko is never in the Elvis debate? Answer me that one.

LP, CD or MP3?

Teddy Ruxpin.

If you could start one trend, what would it be?

Still laughing at Paul Collins' answer. "Assbook." But I'd have to say, I wish all the bike nerds could go back in time and have good childhoods.

If you could end one trend, what would it be?

Bedtimes.

With whom would you most like to play a game of spin the bottle?

All those I could've been nicer to.

(Photo courtesy of the Mayor of Ponce)

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