Mayor of Ponce returns with Dangerous Moves

So Estoria-fest was last weekend. I didn’t make it by, but I can only imagine. Twenty-eight dudes in flannel arguing about what band they hate the most.

By J. Winter Thursday May 14, 2009 04:42 AM EDT

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It’s been awhile. Almost a year, I suppose. I’ve been bouncing around a few bars, bounced my head off of a few curbs, told a few jokes, and been the butt of a few more. And I’ve loved every second of it.-

I’m excited about this summer. I love how volatile the weather’s been. Springtime seems angry - like it’s ready for a fight or something. It has the excitement of summer before senior year. Before you’re about to blow off the last year of high school with a beer buzz and a cloud of smoke. We’re seniors and we’ve got a hall pass to the city.-

It feels good to be back in the ‘Loaf. Feels even better that it’s still around. CL’s been battling, sometimes uphill. But now it seems it has the taste of blood. And I like that. I’ll take that shark in any fight.-

I have loads of ideas for pieces rattling around this 10-cent head, and they’re all mostly positive - aside for the racial stereotyping, name-calling and shameless self-promotion. But they’ll all have my best intentions. For now, let’s roll the bones and tap on the glass. Like in a pet store, the snake tank always reads, “Do NOT tap on glass.”-

Let’s tap on it.-

Here are some bourbon inspirations I scratched down on cocktail napkins. Basically, things I think about, just not thoroughly:-

Record Store Day was a few weeks ago. Am I the only one that finds it odd that it’s the one day a year where the most shit is actually stolen from record stores? If I were Eric from Criminal, next year I would call it, “Please Do Not Steal Shit from My Record Store ... Day.”-

I want to start a group that supports dog fighting, just so I can go protest loser PETA members outside NFL games when Michael Vick comes back. What more do you want from that dude? He’s lost millions and he’s sitting in prison. Seriously PETA members, get a life. But until you do, I say “Legalize it.”-

Let them settle it in the plywood circle. Standard dimensions.-

I kind of like Tecate’s “Most Interesting Man in the World” spots on TV and radio. It’s a lot more interesting though if you picture Kenny Crucial as the lead. Either him or Jeff Clark’s weird ass from Stomp and Stammer.-