Saturday, July 11, 2009
Music news Chunklet vs. Paste Magazine
Posted by Chad Radford @ChadRad on Sat, Jul 11, 2009 at 6:01 PM
This weekend Chunklet Magazine proprietor Henry Owens made no bones about his feelings regarding the floundering, Decatur-based Paste magazine.
On Friday Owens challenged Paste to a high school-style public debate regarding the merits of Paste and Chunklet, thus revisiting the "Bucket of Shit" topic from the latest Chunklet.
So there's a benefit show tonight for the worst magazine falling on hard financial times in 2009, Paste Magazine. I know, I know. In 2009, we should be celebrating anybody that's willing to put out a piece of printed material. I mean, look who you're talking to, fer chrissakes!But no, I can't lock step with people that endorse shit. I've fought in the punk rock trenches too long to let this sleeping dog (or rather dying and/or decaying dog) lie. Fuck. That.
Two years ago, back when their coffers were flush with money from Fat Possum and Luaka Bop ads, we shot across their bow. And sure, we live mere miles from their headquarters. I don't care. And sure, their boat is sinking, but I'm firing across their bow again. Fuck it. This bitch has got to sink.
And let me say right now that if you've ever been a follower of Paste Magazine (other than for research purposes or morbidly curious reasons) and also read Chunklet, I don't want you as a supporter of our endeavors. If you've never read Paste, you're a lucky person and/or somebody that's never been stuck at the Memphis Airport. Either way, you win.
Furthermore, I'm not hiding behind a computer when I write this. I am making an open challenge to anybody from Paste Magazine to a debate about their merit versus the merit of Chunklet. It'd be the ultimate spectacle. Editorial morons versus a Moron editor. The fight of the century. We'll charge at the door and kick the money towards the winner. I've already picked out the curtains I'd like to buy with the winnings! Ooooh! Am I picking a fight? Well, sure, I guess I am.
No response from Paste yet, but we will keep you posted. Click below to see Chunklet's revised list of the differences between a bucket of shit and Paste.
So without further ado, and with complete credit going to my friends on Facebook, here's a new revised list. *COUGH*Q: What's the difference between a bucket of shit and Paste Magazine?
A: Nobody's dumb enough to have a benefit show for a bucket of shit.
There is none.
A free CD.
The staples.
A bucket of shit doesn't ask you for money.
Most people won't open a bucket of shit.
There is an off chance that a bucket of shit might contain nuts.
A bucket of shit can tell you more about what you like.
A bucket of shit doesn't like crawl up Ryan Adams' ass and set up camp.
In five years people will still know what a bucket of shit is.
More work goes into a bucket of shit.
If someone has a bucket of shit under their arm you might think they're crazy but you don't instantly hate them.
A bucket of shit doesn't try to convince you to buy a Jack Johnson CD.
A bucket of shit only requires one asshole, not a building full of them.
The bucket of shit just might have a well designed cover over it.
A bucket of shit has substance.
At least flies are attracted to a bucket of shit.
A bucket of shit has staying power, especially downwind.
A bucket of shit doesn't have lofty aspirations.
A Fat Possum can't carry a bucket of shit.
I'd donate money to save a bucket of shit.
A bucket of shit grew weary of Uncle Tupelo a long time ago.
A bucket of shit has potential.
A bucket of shit doesn't have a specially designed logo that always reminds me of the edgy lust for life present at the salad bar at whole foods.
A bucket of shit represents spoils of a fruitful effort.
A bucket of shit has useful fertilizing possibilities.
A bucket of shit is most definitely not insipid.
A bucket of shit never tried to rip off NME.
It's possible for a bucket of shit to have been made by a talented writer.
You can't use the discounted media mail rate when shipping a bucket of shit via the USPS.
People who stare at a bucket of shit are far better informed.
A bucket of shit knows more about typography.
Now seriously, Paste. Die.
(Photo by Ryan Russell)
Comments (19)
Showing 1-19 of 19
A childish, immature, unproductive, and frankly boring attempt to achieve shock value. Constructive criticism and disagreement are right-on, but there's nothing worse than a writer trashing someone else as a way to show off their self-aggrandizing wit. Stomp and Stammer does that same shit, and it drives me nuts. Here's a thought: let your magazine stand (or fall) on its own merits, and allow the same for others. Seems pretty easy. That whole article just reeks of schoolyard bullying; Henry is doing the equivalent of pointing at the fat freckled kid and calling him something obvious like "Freckly freckle face freckly fuck." He might get a laugh as the other schoolkids marvel over his wit, but his humor would certainly be longer-lasting if he didn't have to point out the shortcomings of another in order to get attention. I'm no Paste fanboy, but I can't help but think that there's room in this world for both magazines!
like
dislike
BREAKING: Two Men With Small Penises Want the World To Know They Know More About Music Than You
Thanks, Chad for your solipsistic cynicism. Now, go lock yourself in the closet and bless us with a missive about the superior smell of your own farts. After that you would be a shoe-in for a Palin speech writer. You bethca'.
Wait, Henry Owings is whoring for attention? Yawn. Shame on you, Chad, for giving that bootlicker a forum. That part of the article I'm genuinely surprised by.
You, my Chunklet, are the one who's the bucket of S-H-I-T! You wouldn't know quality if it bit you in the ass. Die a slow, painful death.
Tom, Shame on me? Really? I understand that it's a low blow to kick Paste while they’re down, but come on man. Chunklet’s poop jokes are no less annoying than Paste’s “Unglued” column about Bjork in the current issue. I, for one, would love to see these two mags go head-to-head in a debate on things like, editorial voice, presence in the community and taste. So in that respect yeah, I think it’s an awesome challenge.
If only they COULD go head-to-head in a debate on useful things like editorial voice, print's place in the internet age, the relationship between print pubs and associated blogs/sites, etc. However, the sad truth is that Henry would likely make that impossible, instead choosing to let a fart and explain that it was a metaphor for some highbrow punk elitist ethos. I too am disappointed that this childish shit-flinging contest has made its way outside of Chunklet's site. I really do think that Henry squandered an opportunity to make good points about Paste (their failures, successes, fundraising campaign, etc) by making the whole thing seem so immature. Had he written a well-crafted and honest piece that didn't resort to silly name-calling, we'd be having an entirely different type of conversation. Of course, had he NOT written it the way he did...it likely would not have been reprinted here. I guess shock value WILL get you ahead! ;)
Several years ago Henry's house was broken into. He lost a computer containing much of his writing for some work projects. So what did he do? He held a benefit concert for himself at the Earl. How is that different than what Paste is currently doing? Having said that, I have subscribed to Paste twice and I can say from experience that it is one of the worst music magazines out there.
It sounds like he's jealous that a dying magazine still gets more attention than the garbage that he puts out. Seriously, who reads Chunklet?
The real shocker is how ugly Henry is looking these days. I know he used to look bad, but this is ridiculous.
Paste is published monthly. Chunklet is published like quintannually. Shouldn't your magazine actually be run like a magazine in order to step into this ring? Paste is straight-up dad rock these days, and Chunklet is for the music lover so narrow-minded he can't bear to listen to anything but stand-up comedy. I'm pretty bored of both of them.
They both suck major white-belt wearing nads.... I'd rather eat a bucket of shit...
Chunklet and Henry are about as punk rock as paprika balls! It's obvious that the only reason he's been in the quasi-trenches of anything is for personal gain, which is not punk rock, it' s brat core. Just because pretentious record labels put ads in your publication and you think your opinion matters, doesn't mean you do. DIE! PLEASE DIE!
Good point, Courtney. He wouldn't be in the lucrative businesses of promoting underground rock shows/publishing a zine if he wasn't in it purely for personal gain. [/sarcasm] By the way, what the fuck is a paprika ball, and how can it be more/less punk rock than something?
Latest in Crib Notes
-
Tijuana Hercules careened through the Star Bar, but never crashed
Former Dirt frontman returned from Chicago for another round of junkyard rock 'n' roll
-
Tracklist: Nas saw Kelis as Courtney Love
-
For Edward Sharpe 'Home' is at the Tabernacle
Keep an ear out for the new songs, too
- More »
More by Author
-
Torche: Harmonicraft
Volcom
-
The Rinse use their 'Illusion'
The Rinse plays the Star Bar on Thurs., March 29 with Social Studies, the Meeks Family, Frankie Broyles (ex-Balkans), and Philip Frobos (carnivores)
- More »
