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Wednesday, November 3, 2010

Three 6 Mafia gone Hollywood? Not hardly

Juicy J (right) caught lusting after an Ounce of Weed

One can only imagine how many orifices DJ Paul and Juicy J have attempted to fill with that 2006 Oscar trophy of theirs. Despite winning the bald-headed statuette for their contribution to "It's Hard Out Here for a Pimp" from Hustle & Flow and starring in their own short-lived MTV reality show ("Adventures in Hollyhood"), one thing remains true after their Halloween night show at Atlanta's reopened 688 last Sunday: Three 6 Mafia is still un-Hollywood and unrepentant as f*ck.

By the time I got there at midnight all of the opening acts (Jamie Drastik, Tom P of Decatur, Lil Wyte and Project Pat) had finished their sets. But at least half of them were still onstage it seemed, along with Paul and J, show host Maurice Garland and a posse of untold proportions.

While the hired security on stage seemed more concerned with keeping the crowd below from getting too rowdy — a futile endeavor at a Triple 6 show — random audience members wandered at will up the side staircase leading to the stage. Suge Knight was up there front-and-center, with a pair of handcuffs dangling from one wrist as a malnourished Tupac kept his distance below. There was even a huge penis with an innocent smile onstage, dragging his oversized pink balls on the floor.

But the biggest dicks were probably the ones holding the mics. "Let me ask y'all a question. What's better: sex or head?" DJ Paul polled the crowd by round of applause. Head won by unanimous decision. But the crowd was obviously following Paul's lead.

The line separating audience from performer is obsolete at a Three 6 show
  • Rodney's iPhone
  • The line separating audience from performer is obsolete at a Three 6 show
Something about Three 6's music turns people into straight zombies. Mix that repetitive, signature drone that underlies all of their songs with those dank, Freddy Krueger beats and that hypnotizing Memphis bass. Add some aggressive chants on top of that, and it's easy to begin feeling invincible. Sometimes all it takes is the hook. And since damn near every Three 6 song is a posse cut featuring an exhaustive list of former Three 6 affiliates with names like Crunchy Black, Gangsta Boo, Lord Infamous, Koopsta Knicca, La Chat and too many more to name — none of whom were there, of course — the hooks were often all they had to lean on after Paul and J spit their verses. But with so many hits, they could skip from track to track all night without losing the crowd.

Maurice Garland (as a hat-wearing Humpty) kicks off costume contest with Tom P (left) and Juicy J
  • Rodney's iPhone
  • Maurice Garland (as a hat-wearing Humpty) kicks off costume contest with Tom P (left) and Juicy J
They played snippets from the mainstream hits (if you can call them that): "Sippin' On Some Sizzurp," "Stay Fly." The underground classics: "I'm So High," "Who Run It," "Azz and Tititiez." And of course, the club anthems: "Tear Da Club Up," "Hit a Muthafucka."

A Civil War-era colonel was ready to attack after getting hit by a random fist when the tightly-packed crowd started moshing. Security held him back while DJ Paul reminded him where the hell he was: "It's a Three 6 Mafia show," he stated matter-of-factly, "you're gonna get hit. You're gonna get hit. It's called Down South crunk music."

Even their attempts to keep the crowd hype between songs turned into impromptu Three 6 anthems: "Throw it at me. Throw it at me. Throw it at me. Throw it at me," DJ Paul chanted, followed by Juicy J: "Throw me some weeeeed/Throw me some bloooow." Repeat.

Three 6 Mafia does not discriminate
And when it came time to play some of the newer, post-Oscar, raver music they've been criticized for by the likes of Memphis OG's 8 Ball & MJG, Juicy J issued a statement: "We got some music for some niggas and we got some music for some poppy people," he said in his articulate, son-of-a-preacher man tenor. "It's almost like fuckin' a black chick and a white chick at the same time. You gotta give these motherfuckers what they want."

The DJ crunk the sound back up and on the floor the Karate Kid started beating Sexy Sailor Chick with his foam nunchucks. DJ Paul led the crowd in another chant ("Snort co-caine! Snort co-caine!") before ordering "all the women to turn to the closest man next to you and give him head."

Maurice Garland, dressed as Humpty Hump, emceed the $666 Halloween costume contest. With DJ Paul and Juicy J doing the judging, the outcome was predictable. For sexiest costume, Lady Gaga (wearing real bacon) and Foxy Brown lost to the petite Ounce of Weed in the see-through Ziploc baggie. But somehow Tupac and Suge lost in the best couple category (pause) to crowd favorite Tom P's parents — whose Caesar and Cleopatra toga sheets lead DJ Paul to confuse them with Mary, Joseph and Baby Jesus.

And in the best overall category, the life-sized Penis with the innocent smile lost to the Sexy Sailor Chick. But the Dick did not go home alone. He was later spotted exiting the club with one of those Flapper girls from the roaring ’20s. An odd pairing in any other universe, they made a rather cute couple leaving the Three 6 Mafia show together.

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