Lady Bird Johnson has died. She was the widow of Lyndon Johnson and, if I'm not mistaken, the second longest-living first lady after Bess Truman.
In April, I toured the Johnson ranch near Austin, Texas. It was her main residence at the time, but she was not home.
I snapped some photos of the ranch with my camera phone. Among them is a photo of her likely resting place next to her husband. Lyndon Johnson's tomb is the tallest one in the foreground. Four generations of Johnsons are buried here.
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Andy, thank you very much for not making any tasteless "Johnson" jokes that would have detracted from your respectful coverage of the passing of the former first lady. Which reminds me -- what famous American company is named after a man with two penises? Johnson & Johnson.
I started to write a joke about how Lady Bird Johnson and Lyndon Baines Johnson must have had a heckuva time keeping their monogrammed towels straight, but I reconsidered.
You know, this reminds me of the time officials exhumed the body of President Zachary Taylor. The coroner who examined the remains declared: "Mrs. Taylor was a VERY lucky woman!"
There used to be a famous NASCAR driver named "Junior Johnson." I don't suppose he got the "pole" position very often! Get it?
Silly Billy: I'm sorry I don't get it. Could you explain?
Hey, Ken: if CL had a goddamn NASCAR writer like a REAL newspaper, you wouldn't have any trouble "getting it." Why don't you put Scott Henry on the beat? He's a drag since he quit writing about butt plugs and shit like that. Know what I'm saying, dog?
A NASCAR writer? Please don't tell me that CL would consider going Redneck on us...