Monday, September 17, 2007

AJC's Jeffry Scott: Snuggle Master

Posted by Thomas Wheatley on Mon, Sep 17, 2007 at 5:05 PM

Scene: Saturday, late night. The editorial offices of That Other Paper. Outside, a cool breeze blows and traffic hums along. Fluorescent lights hum and flicker as the newsroom sits empty, save for one scribe. Intrepid reporter Jeffry Scott walks to the window, presses his cheek against the cool glass for inspiration, and his creative soul is ignited. Autumn is approaching. It is ... "snuggle season." Bow-chicka-bow-wow.

In perhaps the most bewildering piece I've ever read in That Other Paper, Scott takes us on a hormone-raging ride and tells us why, when the mercury dips and the pagan solstice awakens the Druid in us all, we start getting cutesy under the covers. And here I thought cold weather usually just made us eat people.

I've omitted all the boring weather stats and compiled Dr. Love's come-hither observations on whoopee season, which by itself reads like Ken Cook channeling Danielle Steel.

It's almost that time of year when not even a headache can keep a couple apart ... Snugglin' Season is upon us. ... But our fate is sealed, under blankets ... Who among us can stand to wait?

How bawdy, you seasonal sex correspondent! Mothers, lock up your daughters.

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This really is bizarrely cutesy for an article in the Metro news section. The AJC is the worst large-market US newspaper I've seen. I grew up in Marieatta with the MDJ, a newspaper we called the Daily Disappointment, so when I started reading the AJC there was a brief honeymoon period due to its relatively higher quality. But reading the other US papers in the library showed me what kind of high water marks had been set elsewhere, and how far the AJC was from reaching them. I just hope they stop putting those ridiculous irreverent/folksy-humorous article teasers in the left column of the front page.

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Posted by Darin on September 17, 2007 at 2:40 PM

Yes! I read this yesterday and literally scratched my head, I was so befuddled. I pity the fool who doesn't know about Snuggle Season!

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Posted by Mr. T on September 17, 2007 at 2:41 PM

Looks like Darin might need a little snugglin' too...he's prickly.

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Posted by Mr. T on September 17, 2007 at 2:54 PM

I'd rather have Guy Sharp. Then again, maybe I did? Hard to tell at my age. That Guy Sharp, now he was one badass Cox Snuggle Stud Muffin. Put that Jeffry Scott to shame. Or was it 11 Alive? Damn brain cells. Hard operating on just the three I got left.

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Posted by Foxy At Eleven on September 17, 2007 at 3:35 PM

Mr. T: Hooray for Snuggle Season! Yippeeee!

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Posted by ThomasWheatley on September 17, 2007 at 3:51 PM

You said it Thomas. This post made my day...it had been less than 24 hours since I'd seen the story but it was gone from my brainhead. Not any more. I'm gonna go snuggle the shit out of something.

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Posted by Mr. T on September 17, 2007 at 3:54 PM

I totally understand, Mr. T. After all..."who among us can stand to wait?"

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Posted by ThomasWheatley on September 17, 2007 at 4:43 PM

Hey Thomas, i knew Jeffrey Scott and you're no Jeffrey Scott but came damn close on this article... Neither one of you know what an Indian Summer is but when you finish perusing the "Ocmulgee Indian Homecoming Celebration" tutorial pics at Georgia Improper, you'll be bow chic a bow bow experts...

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Posted by Victor Jones on September 17, 2007 at 8:14 PM

Victor, call the authorities immediately. The Jeffrey Scott of whom you speak is a different person from the Jeffry Scott mentioned in the above entry. The latter is a fine journalist who was briefly intoxicated by the love-tipped arrows of Eros. The former is a menace to society and to be avoided at all costs. Or at least I'm sure he probably is, whoever he is. Good pics, by the way.

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Posted by Thomas Wheatley on September 17, 2007 at 8:42 PM
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