Wednesday, December 26, 2007
News Breaking! Santa bypassed Atlanta, military caught in lie! OMG!
Posted by Thomas Wheatley @thomaswheatley on Wed, Dec 26, 2007 at 7:11 PM
It's up to us here at CL to get to the bottom of what may be the most brazen of government cover-ups, committed during the very time of year when the warmth of the holiday season should keep us all honest and aglow.
According to NORAD's highly publicized surveillance program meant to not only track, but one day snipe Santa Claus out of his once-a-year playground of stars, the immortal fat man breezed entirely by Atlanta on Christmas Eve, opting to veer east on his flight up from Florida and then soar toward the North Carolina coast instead. The Department of Defense, in hoping to avoid a regionwide riot, placed a little gift icon over Atlanta to hoodwink us into thinking we received a visit from Santa and his reindeer-guided chariot of hope. The supersecret agency's exclusive video footage of Santa's movements, however, reveals otherwise (shown below). Leave it to NORAD, still reeling from a cyber attack by one of history's greatest hacker masterminds, to foul this one up.
You can't have it both ways, Uncle Sam. Be upfront with the American people. First it was all the cover-ups about visitors from other worlds. I can understand that, as that's some heady stuff. Then there were the lies about flying cars -- lies that you paid your cronies in the automobile industry to parrot for you. Not very cool, but granted, those things involve a responsibility we as a society aren't ready to take on. But this man who lounges in the fast-melting Arctic all year, he keeps us waiting and behaving, and then ... well, don't cover for him, guys.
Evidence of Santa thumbing his nose at Atlanta shown below. Note the little feet of the reindeer. Sickening.
[kml_flashembed movie="http://www.youtube.com/v/QdVLmfTLBhs" width="425" height="350" wmode="transparent" /]
All jokes aside, how much money does this cutesy animation thing cost NORAD every year?
(Santa photo courtesy of NORAD Santa Tracker)
Comments (4)
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We also have proof that Santa is English speaking and American. Going to the youtube site, you can also see Norad track him over Rome. And even though the announcer is speaking Italian, Santa wishes the viewers a Merry Christmas. ;-)
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The cutsey animation is funded by sponsors. Norad cannot spend tax payers money on it. Heaven forbid a government agency should do such a thing.
It's just misinformation for security purposes, as is used for AF1. You don't want the terrorists shooting down Santa, do ya?
David, the terrorists would never shoot down a sleigh guided by reindeer. Too messy, PETA folks would be up in arms, etc. I predict Santa would be the victim of identity theft. They'd ruin his bank account. Dude's rolling in dough. Like Putin, he just doesn't let anyone know about it.
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