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Monday, November 10, 2008

Atlanta’s 11 Least Influential People: No. 8

Atlanta’s 11 Least Influential People is Creative Loafing's annual tribute to the Joe and Josephine Averages of the world who try, but don't necessarily succeed.

Winners 11 through six will be revealed, one-per-day, until Wednesday, November 12, when the 11 Least Influential issue hits newsstands.

click to enlarge GEORGIA BIGFOOT: "The irrationality of a thing is no argument against its existence, rather a condition of it." (Friedrich Nietzche, 1844-1900)
  • GEORGIA BIGFOOT: "The irrationality of a thing is no argument against its existence, rather a condition of it." (Friedrich Nietzche, 1844-1900)

No. 8 — Georgia Bigfoot

Can't convince anyone he exists.

Pity Georgia Bigfoot.

He wanders our state’s forests in a lonesome purgatory of disbelief.

He has no friends. He has no family. And unlike his prodigiously pawed peers of the Pacific Northwest, he has comparatively few professional Bigfoot-seekers stroking his ego by attempting to track him.

Last summer it looked briefly like his luck had changed. His existence, it seemed, was about to be acknowledged, posthumously.

In August, Clayton County cop Matthew Whitton and former Clayton County corrections officer Rick Dyer claimed to have located the remains of Georgia Bigfoot in North Georgia.

The media was momentarily riveted, and Dyer and Whitton were reportedly paid $50,000 for their find by Bigfoot hunters.

A little late for him to fully enjoy it, it seemed, but Georgia Bigfoot had finally arrived.

Or not.

Dyer’s and Whitton’s manimal carcass was actually a monster costume covered in entrails, then frozen in ice.

When the Sasquatch-sicle finally melted, Dyer and Whitton were outed as hoaxsters. Whitton was fired from the Clayton County police force and the duo were sued for the $50,000.

Forgotten in all the media coverage, however, was the true victim of the hoax: Georgia Bigfoot himself.

Sure, the fact that the corpse was a fake probably means he’s alive, healthy, and wandering the state's forests right now.

But this solitary, woodland-dwelling creature has once again, through no fault of his own, found himself trapped in the existential no-man’s land between greedy hoaxsters and a skeptical public.

What’s the point of existing if no one believes you exist?

Coming Tuesday on Fresh Loaf: No. 7

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