Twilight: Bella Swan (Kristen Stewart), a thoughtful, awkward 17 year-old girl who dreams of romance
Right One: Oskar (Kåre Hedebrant), a thoughtful, alienated 12-year-old boy who dreams of revenge
Twilight: Edward Cullen (Robert Pattinson), the mysterious hunk with ever-changing eyes in the adjacent desk in biology class
Right One: Eli (Lina Leandersson), the mysterious waif with huge eyes in the adjacent apartment in the housing project
HIGH SCHOOL DEFINING TRAIT
Twilight: Walking in slow motion
Right One: Bullying comparable to Lord of the Flies
SMALL-TOWN WEATHER CONDITIONS
Twilight: The Pacific Northwest at its most overcast, allowing vampires to pass for human in public.
Right One: Sweden at its most wintry, allowing red bloodstains appear more starkly against the white snow.
Twilight: Patriarchal Dr. Cullen (Peter Facinelli), whose kabuki-level make-up makes his face look as white as his lab coat
Right One: Oskar, whose complexion is as pale as milk and hes not even undead
Twilight: The Cullen vampires dont kill people because they consider themselves vegetarians.
Right One: Eli seldom kills people because her human operative (Hakan) slays strangers and drains their blood for her.
LINES WITH SUPERNATURAL HINTS
Twilight: How long have you been 17? A while.
Right One: Arent you cold? I guess Ive forgotten how.
SUN PROTECTION FACTOR
Twilight: The vampires avoid sunlight because it reflects off their sparkly skin and reveals their inhumanity.
Right One: Vampires avoid sunshine because it causes incendiary reactions.
Twilight: Edward and other vampires leap ridiculously through the air thanks to phony special effects.
Right One: Eli crawls eerily up walls thanks to artful long shots.
Twilight: A little burning and dismemberment, almost entirely off-camera
Right One: While under water in a swimming pool, Oskar catches only shocking glimpses of Elis attack on bad guys.
CHASTE SIGN OF TRUE LOVE
Twilight: Lying side by side in leafy glades
Right One: Tapping Morse code messages from opposite sides of walls or boxes
LIKELY AUDIENCE WITH YOU
Twilight: Teens who will squeal through the swoony love scenes but be less enthusiastic by the end
Right One: Art-house film lovers who will squirm through the chilling murder scenes, but be more enthusiastic by the end
Twilight: Overwrought, draggy teen love story along the lines of a schoolgirls emo diary entries
Right One: Compelling, icy portrait of alienation along the lines of Swedish character study films that don't have vampires
lmao at broch giving advice that hasn't been valid since 1960. just die already
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