For news writers, the year-end list is a subtle signal to readers that their publication has early holiday deadlines and they had to hurry up and turn something in.
For critics, its often an exercise in hipper-than-thou opacity.
Wouldn't it be sweet if an album took the prickly psych damage of Black Dice but made it work in the context of epic rock, so that it had the cathartic build of early Mogwai?"
Thats an actual sentence from Pitchforks The 50 Best Albums of 2008 list. And for the record, no it wouldnt be sweet.
Ive written two year-end lists. Here's the first.
Top Five Best-Named World Leaders of 2008
5. Condoleeza Rice Rice is a lousy Secretary of State. I wont miss her when shes gone. But I will miss the funny headlines she generates when she travels to Asia for work. Gems like the APs November 30 Bush sends Rice to India in aftermath of attacks will soon be a thing of the past.
4. Hu Jintao When I hear Chinese President Hu Jintaos name, I imagine conversations between President Bush and his Asian policy briefers. President Hu is on the phone for you, sir. President who? President Hu. From China, sir. Dont ask me who. Youre the one whos supposed to remember his name.
3. Jigme Khesar Namgyal Wangchuck Crowned King of Bhutan by his father last month, this 28-year-old hunky Himalayan has all the ladies in Bhutan singing Everybody Wangchuck Tonight.
2. Prime Minister Nguyen Tan Dung of Vietnam Tan Dung? Have you seen a doctor for that, Prime Minister?
1. Al-Wathiqu Billah Tuanku Mizan Zainal Abidin Ibni Al-Marhum Sultan Mahmud Al-Muktafi Billah Shah Thats a real name. Honest. He is the King (a.k.a. the Yang di-Pertuan Agong) of Malaysia. Hes only 46, so expect to see him at number one on this particular list for decades to come.
That reminds me, I want to give a shout-out to Larry Tesler. Tesler invented the copy-and-paste function for word processors in the 1970s. That last item would not have been possible without him.
Come back tomorrow for my list of people who also deserved to have shoes thrown at them.
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