Tuesday, December 23, 2008

Don't Panic: Five People Who Also Should Have Had Shoes Thrown At Them In 2008

Posted By on Tue, Dec 23, 2008 at 3:23 PM

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Because you can't be a journalist in late December without writing lists . . .

Five People Who Also Should Have Had Shoes Thrown At Them In 2008

5. Nouri al-Maliki – After Iraqi journalist Muntadar al-Zeidi threw his shoes at President Bush at a press conference in Iraq this month, Bush tried to spin the incident as a size 10 vindication of the Iraq war. “That’s what happens in free societies,” he said. Credible reports have since surfaced saying Prime Minister of Iraq Nouri al-Maliki’s goons have tortured al-Zeidi and forced him to write an apology.  Free society, indeed. Shoe Maliki now.

4. Colin Powell – A leaked report on the failed Iraq occupation quotes former Secretary of State Colin Powell saying the Pentagon systematically lied about progress in Iraq way back in 2003. Powell knew it then, but he’s only telling us now. Thanks for nothing, Colin. You deserve a pair of combat boots to the head for every U.S. troop who has died in Iraq.

3. Mikheil Saakashvili – In August, the President of Georgia provoked a stupid war with Russia that left tens of thousands of Georgians dead and homeless. He then took $30 million in U.S. reconstruction aid and built a five-star boutique hotel and condo complex. Saakashvili needs a Saak-of-sneakers tossed at him, immediately.

2. Robert Mugabe – Zimbabwe’s dictator would rather see everyone in his country dead than relinquish power. His most recent crime: allowing a cholera outbreak to spread through the country’s water supply. He blames it on a foreign conspiracy, not his failure to maintain Zimbabwe’s water treatment plants. Health experts believes tens of thousands will die as a result of Mugabe’s most recent stupidity. There aren’t enough shoes at the Zappos.com warehouse to throw at his head.

1. Burma’s military junta – When Category 4 Cyclone Nargis devastated Burma in May, the goons who run Burma like their plantation were not only unprepared, but refused to admit foreign relief workers. Approximately 150,000 innocent Burmese lost their lives. The junta needs to buried alive under a Foot Locker store.

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