Sunday, May 3, 2009

Streetalk: How did your mother screw you up?

Posted By on Sun, May 3, 2009 at 12:46 PM

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Celia: She made me watch The Exorcist when I was five and told me that was going to happen to me if I didn’t pray. I was devastated. I wore a rosary around my neck until I was seven. I have recovered. The Exorcist is no longer a scary movie — but every time I hear the soundtrack I do get a little frightened. She also told me that Jesus was watching me at all times, so when I was in a room by myself I was afraid to do something bad. I am now agnostic. And I’m afraid of Jesus Christ.

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Andrew: Let me count the ways. When I was 16 my mother thought it would be a good idea to move to Key West. So instead of finishing high school with some sort of adult supervision, I finished on my own. I came home from school, got off the bus and there was a note: "I’ve gone to Key West." I have lots of issues. I can’t hold a relationship. Lots of sedation and therapy. I did inherit my mother’s love of pills. But I’m a forgive-and-forget kind of guy. I did do a bunch of mushrooms in the Virgin Islands with her.

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Amy: My mother has borderline personality disorder. She’s a fuckin’ maniac. Bless her little fuckin’ PhD heart. When I was in high school, I was a singing telegram and my mother hired me for one of her lovers. She was married. So I delivered a singing telegram in a thong bikini to one of her lovers delivering balloons She was a [Washington] Redskin fan, so I came as Pocahontas  I learned the Redskin theme song.  She then proceeded not to claim me as her daughter.

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