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Friday, October 16, 2009

Oxendine hits Barnes in low-budget 'rat' commercial

Yesterday afternoon, the five or six Georgia journalists who still have jobs received an email from the John Oxendine campaign.

On Thursday night, the email said, the 2010 GOP gubernatorial candidate would release a "'new media' advertisement" hitting Roy Barnes. A campaign spokesman said the ad "demonstrates John Oxendine's commitment to using innovative, cutting-edge genre to communicate serious messages in creative mediums."

The release included this hilarious paragraph:

The [event where the ad will be released] is being held at an undisclosed laser-tag facility and is closed to the public. After viewing the commercial, the volunteers will enjoy pizza and laser-tag.

Reporters were under strict orders not to publicize the advertisement until its formal release tonight at 7:20 p.m. Reporters complied. Not out of respect, really, but because we didn't care.

This, my friends, is the cutting-edge technology, all four minutes of it:

If you don't have the patience to listen to the man with the slow drawl talk about "Obama liberals" and choppy animations of "The Ox" headbutting a rat all the way to ole socialist France,  then we've provided screenshots for your enjoyment after the jump.

Here's "King Roy," or "The Rat." Oxendine is playing off a hilarious 2002 Sonny Perdue gubernatorial campaign commercial that depicted Barnes as a rat named "King Roy." Supposedly this rat hates agriculture, teachers, ponies, flags, sunshine, everything. But he loves the bling.

John-Oxendine-The-Rat

Here's the rodent checking out at a laser show at a well-known tourist trap.

The-rat-at-Stone-Mountain

Here's what "The Ox" will do to your intown Atlanta home, so he can build an interstate "green road."

John-Oxendine-tornado

These are who Oxendine's animators think are the candidate's "average supporters." Note the goatee. And the skin color. OK, so maybe it's just one slide. We'll see some diversity.

John-Oxendine-taxpayers-are-white-people

OK, still just white people. But at least the daughter's kind of hip. The son's a Kappa Sig named Knox Taxpayer. And what is that odd shading on the businessman's pants? And where is his tooth?

John-Oxendine-only-white-people-are-taxpayers

Here's "The Ox" straight up humiliating "The Rat" and causing a bloody mess at Turner Field.

John-Oxendine-vs-the-rat-at-Turner-Field

Here's the rat flying to New York City, home of the United Nations, which hates Georgia.

The-rat-NYC

Here are those two jokers acting like fools on the top of Buford Dam, getting sparks and animal blood in our water.

Oxendine-vs-the-rat-on-Buford-Dam

Annnnd of course:

Ronald-Reagan

Somewhere in the video there has to be a drinking game. In other news, the Oxendine campaign becomes more and more surreal every day.

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