Jonathan Ames and company took on a new case this week, "The Case of the Stolen Sperm."
The lesbian couple that Ray has been donating his sperm to have suddenly disappeared and thrown his life off-balance. "Look, for years I've been jerking off purely for medical reasons, like lancing a wound, but trying to have a baby with them has given it new meaning," he says. Jonathan agrees to help him track the couple down, but they find out a little more than they expect.
As it turns out, the couple were using fake names and selling Ray's sperm on a "lesbian black market" for 500 bucks a cup. They find a list of 31 addresses in the trash of their emptied out apartment and decide to go door to door trying to track down some information. The only information they turn up on their first round of searching is that Ray hasn't been producing much. "I can't believe I fired thirty blanks," he whines.
The last house doesn't lead to any information about the lesbian black market sperm thieves, but it turns out that Ray fired one good shot. It's just that the couple were expected a Stanford Ph.D, not an out-of-work cartoonist. "I feel like Mia Farrow in Rosemary's Baby," the mother-to-be yells before kicking our detectives off the porch.
Just when the day seems to be wrapping up with George, Jonathan, and Ray having drinks at the bar, the editor of GQ shows up to declare war on George. "I challenge you to a boxing match you old piece of shit," Richard Antrem announces to the bar. He apparently didn't like it when George compared his mouth to the "anus of a starfish" in a recent editorial. George is happy to accept the challenge, but it doesn't end there.
"I accept, too! I'll fight Lewis!" adds Jonthan, pointing at the smarmy Slate book critic played by John Hodgman.
Not to be outdone, Ray jumps into the circle. "What about me? I wanna fight. Can I get in on this?" he says right as the screen fades in "to be continued..."
The cliffhanger ending will surely be resolved in next week's season finale, "Take a Dive." Will Jonathan clobber Lewis for trashing his first book? Can George kick Richard's ass for marrying his ex-wife? Who the hell will Ray fight?
@ Roxanne Dimacale
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