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Thursday, November 19, 2009

Found: 2009 Fulton County write-in results

click to enlarge CLARK HOWARD No match for Mickey Mouse
  • CLARK HOWARD No match for Mickey Mouse

On Nov. 3, thousands of Fulton County residents cast their votes for candidates who weren't even on the ballot. Courtesy of the county's election gurus, we present the more interesting write-in results:

  • Clark Howard: The city's penny-pinching guru earned 33 votes in nearly every Atlanta race, including mayor, City Council president and Atlanta school board.

  • Musicians: Voters placed their trust in Frank Zappa, Megadeth's Dave Mustaine, Jello Biafra, Jerry Garcia, Henry Rollins, Ted Nugent, David Lee Roth and Mick Jagger.

  • Conservative icons: Glenn Beck led the crowded pack of right-minded write-in candidates. Others: George W. Bush, Sarah Palin, Sean Hannity, Rush Limbaugh, Neal Boortz, Karl Rove, Ronald Reagan, Joe the Plumber, Cain, Chuck Norris and Joe "You Lie!" Wilson.

  • Karl Marx: The long-dead father of communism was a write-in for the Atlanta school board and Atlanta City Council District 7.

  • Sid Mashburn: The Howell Mill haberdasher who can magically turn Atlanta's slobs into dapper dons garnered one vote for the Post 1 At-Large seat won by Michael Julian Bond.

  • Cartoons: Jesus, what is with people and Mickey Mouse? The squeaky-voiced rodent garnered 34 votes. Other pen-and-ink candidates: Donald Duck, Bugs Bunny, Goofy, Elmer Fudd, Foghorn Leghorn, Scooby Doo, Mr. Magoo, Porky Pig, Homer Simpson and Garfield.

  • Hilariously generic "people": "A Christian name person," "Reasonable person," "No lawyers," "Indie rock elitist," "Dirt road repairman" and "Cracker fuck."

  • Reptilians: When Norm Coleman and Al Franken quibbled over votes in their 2008 congressional race, much ado was made about write-in votes for "Lizard King." "Hail the Lizard King" and "Lizard King 4 USA," you had a friend on Nov. 3.

Click here to download an Excel document listing the full write-in results for all municipal and Gold Dome races in Fulton County.

(Photo by Joeff Davis)

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