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Wednesday, January 27, 2010

The Sexorcist: Girl-on-girl infidelity isn’t really cheating … or is it?

Posted By on Wed, Jan 27, 2010 at 3:00 PM

Dear Sexorcist,

I’m 38 and married to a great guy, but I’ve been seeing this woman on the side for about three months. Lately, she’s been sticking her nose where it doesn’t belong, telling me I need to “confess” to my husband that a) I’m lesbian and b) I’m cheating on him. Bull. First, I have a great sex life with my husband, and second, sex with another woman isn’t cheating! It’d be a completely different thing if she were a man. I think she’s just pissed off that I have no intention of leaving him. Do I need to break it off with her or is there some way to go back to our no-strings sex relationship?

— Uncertain in Sandy Springs

Dear Uncertain:

I haven’t seen someone this self-absorbed since my last boss. I’d say “good morning” in the hall and she’d reply, “Thank you.”

You know what burns my ass more than a three-foot flame? Your logic. Heterosexuals “count” in breaking your vows, but lesbians don’t? You’re not just a cheat, you’re a homophobic one to boot.

If you’re in a heterosexual marriage, same-sex cheating is worse than its opposite-sex counterpart. It’s the difference between peeing on the floor and taking a dump on the coffee table. Ask Dina McGreevey. When she found out her husband, the then-governor of New Jersey, was cheating on her with a man, she knew infidelity was the least of her problems.

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