Monday, March 22, 2010

Play the Atlanta Theatre Porn Title game

Posted By on Mon, Mar 22, 2010 at 6:58 PM

On last week's "30 Rock," Jack Donaughey discovered that NBC's new owners, Kabletown, specialized in broadcasting pornography, and looked aghast at a schedule filled with such titles as Ass-vatar, The Lovely Boners, The Hind Side, and Fresh-Ass: Based on the Novel Tush By Assfire.

I bring this up because I recently had a really stupid thought that could cause you to lose all respect for me. I was writing a blurb about Actor's Express new play 100 Saints You Should Know, and it occurred to me that one were to make a porno based on it, the title would inevitably be...

100 Taints You Should Know

Alas, it was the kind of thought that could not be un-thought, no matter how much I wished, and would flash in my mind every time I'd see the play's actual title. In lieu of seeking psychiatric help, I decided to apply the concept to other recent productions on the Atlanta theater scene, and concocted such titles as these:

Clash, Titan, Clash! = Ass, Tit, Ass!

Ethan Frome = Ethan Come

A Catered Affair = A Catered Derriere

The Sunset Limited = The Cumshot Limited

The Gospel of John = The Gospel of John Thomas: You Know, It's a Euphemism for 'Penis.'

Surely other new recent plays lend themselves to such titles, or some of you can improved on my ideas. Who's with me?

Anyone?

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