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Wednesday, May 26, 2010

The Sexorcist: How do you tell your boyfriend he’s a nightmare in bed?

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Dear Sexorcist:

This is urgent! For the past two-and-a-half years I’ve dated a wonderful man that I know I’ll marry (and I know he’ll marry me, too, in case you’re wondering). Problem is, we’ve never had a hearty sex life, which is kind of odd for me. I’ve always chalked it up to being too stressed out from work or from gaining 10 horrific pounds and loathing myself for it.

But then, magically, one day a couple of weeks ago my boyfriend asked me if I thought he was bad in bed. I laughed and said, “No, of course not.” But then a few hours later I thought to myself, “YES! OMG THAT’S IT!” So really, I think the reason I haven’t had a high sex drive is because I have nothing to look forward to that blows my mind. So, Sexorcist, what am I supposed to do with this? Use toys or that new K-Y Yours+Mine stuff? I’ve tried giving pointers and I know he’d be bummed if I needed a toy while he was around. Seriously, how do I take our sex from “Uh, nah” to “Heck, yeah!” without hurting his feelings?

— Withholding

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(Photo by joshfassbind.com/flickr)

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